An Alternative to the Five Second Rule

Funny, Randoms

We all hate it when this happens. You’re making food or eating…and boom – something falls on the floor.

The frustration. The pain. The shattered dreams. The awkward silence when you know someone saw it happen. The faux paus created by that split second – that infinitesimal moment of thought – where you consider eating it. And the person that saw you knows.  Oh, they know what you’re thinking.

Friends, worry no more! No longer do we suffer through that pain and awkwardness. Thanks to recent research and the stylings of SFWeekly, we now have guidance.  I give you, the food-on-floor decision tree:

Consult this handy chalkboard if you ever happen to drop your ham sandwich in front of your boss.

On that note, a small rant:
When I was in college, I found out that a girl got paid several grand to do summer research. Her question: Does the five second rule actually work? Her answer: “It depends what kind of food you drop, and what you drop it on”

I’m pretty sure that a cancer researcher somewhere could have used that extra few thousand dollars, and I could have divined that answer if you’d bought me lunch or a cup of coffee.