More Reasons to Hate Guy Fieri

by John on August 31, 2010 · 16 comments

I know Jeremy is normally in charge of the Epic Portions Guy Fieri Hatred Department, but I thought he was slacking a little bit on his campaign to snuff out all things Fieri.  As far as I’m concerned, the public should be reminded exactly how stupid this man is on at least a monthly basis.

In this installment of Guy Fieri hatred, I will provide you with a few Fieri Facts that are absolutely 100% true.  Some of them may appear made up, but I promise you they are completely real.  If you are a Guy Fieri fan, I hope helps your problem.

  • Guy describes his bleached, spiky hair look as “kulinary gangsta”. Don’t believe me?  Think your blonde haired chef buddy is way too awesome to ever utter the words “kulinary gangsta”?  Well, fortunately Guy had it tattooed on his forearm.  Observe:

  • He has a recipe currently on the Foot Network’s website called No Can Beato This Taquito. I hear the California Coalition for Immigration Reform needs a cook for their next anti-Mexican fundraiser.
  • His real name is Guy Ramsay Ferry.  No, his real name is not Fieri, it’s Ferry.  It was legally changed to “Fieri” in 1995.
  • He owns a lifted golf cart with a stereo, big tires and is equipped with nitro.

That’s all for now.  Just didn’t want our readers to forget Epic Portions’ on going war against the douchery that is Guy Fieri.  Err, I mean Guy Ferry.  The kulinary gangsta that rides yellow golf carts with big wheels.  Awesome.

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November 5, 2013 at 2:12 pm

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Kyrie August 31, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Hahahaha Ferry…..that fact that it was legally changed is great.

ghaz August 31, 2010 at 9:38 pm

is there some place where i can make a donation towards this cause?

Sethonious September 1, 2010 at 1:59 pm

I have to say I understand the last name change. Frequently when italians (or any minority) came to the US their names were often changed at immigration. Last names were “americanized.” Or in the case of my great grandfather “christianized” so that we would have no longer have a “heathen” last name. I fully support researching and changing back to a real given name.

Everything else Fieri is mega douche, but the Ferry thing is probably a legit reconnection to his family and probably shouldn’t be bashed. That golf cart is heinous.

girlalive September 2, 2010 at 11:29 am

I have serious problems with Guy Fieri too. I mean, I love the subject matter of his show, I just wish I didn’t have to have that douchebag on my tv screen to see all those cool places.

He’s a walking advertisement for skin cancer. Howcome we can’t have anyone smoking on tv, but we have to see his leathery sunburned face? With his sunglasses off, he looks like a photo negative of a raccoon.

I lost all respect for him as supposedly a “chef” when he cringed like a little girl at the thought of eating octopus. Seriously? I’m pretty sure he’s the only person on earth calling himself a chef who whines and hesitates so much before trying new foods.

dave September 21, 2010 at 10:40 pm

Dude… this post just regurgitated everything Food Network Humor has spent the last 2 years saying. Way to add something new.

Chef Elaine February 21, 2011 at 11:36 pm

He is also a cheater.
In a contest between himself and Chef Robert Irvine, Ferry shut off Robert’s propane, causing Robert to lose the contest. I honestly think Ferry should have been disqualified.
Personally, I cannot stand Guy Ferry, and refuse to even watch his show.

tyler October 6, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I have looked all over the web and have not seen a good reason for someone to hate him.
The three reasons here just make who ever put them on here as a put down look retarted.
1. Who cares what the names of his recipes are he probably didn’t even come up with them.
2.He changed his name back to what it should still be.
3.My family has a lifted golf cart its not a big deal. go to a large event such a racing, fairs, and other things that cover a large area there are people with more extreme golfcarts than his.
Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesn’t mean you have to put them down. Mabey everyone should be putting you down. Oh yea one more thing the guy who made this article gets a lot of money for he doesn’t really have an opinion on 90% of the topics he says what he thinks most people want to hear.

tyler October 6, 2011 at 12:10 pm

@girlalive oh so he spends alot of time outside. Holy shit atleast he is not sitting on his fat ass collecting welfare like most dumb fucks in america due these days. He is a self made man not a dumb fuck.

Phae May 13, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I love the golf cart idea. LOL

Jean October 5, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Anyone who claims that he is a chef and cannot stand food stains on his gangsta outfit is NOT a chef to me. I’ve seen that loser here in Sacramento and wished I had kicked him where it hurt but since his gangsta car was stolen THAT alone was humiliation and proof that others hate him as well. Guy is a freak.

JJ November 9, 2012 at 8:23 pm

This guy reminds me of my brother. It’s all about him, he couldn’t come close to making it in a real kitchen, he knows everything, he hangs with his kids who tell him how great he is. He is like Reggie Jackson, his best friend(s) are the people who tell him how great he is. As far as the lady who accuses people of talking about him like we are in High School. This douche put himself out there and his personal opinions also……… I don’t like watching someone have juice drippings go down his arm as he lacks them! Licks his fingers! He is just plain disgusting. The only person that is worse is that Man vs Food communist. Does Stevie Wonder dress this guy every morning?

martin May 10, 2014 at 7:40 am

Haters. This Guy is doing what nobody does! Provide food location which helps people that are on vacation, passing through States and help other people where to go and enjoy food. There is different food for all. Quit your hating to the people that provide food. There is no perfect chef/food. Let us make our choices. Guy on Tv nationwide. Stop correcting people eating habits. We’ll if we like the food or not. Will not reply to haters.TY.

River Canyon May 21, 2014 at 12:54 am

Hey John, maybe you’re just a little jealous? Or maybe you’re so insecure that bashing someone who has done better in life than you have makes you feel good? I realize you wrote this 4 years ago but after just reading it I was compelled to enter my 2 cent response. Fieri is the Rock Star of Food TV. That’s his gimmick and he has a right to it just like any Star has a right to their gimmick. Yes you have a right to bash him as much as you want to (or need to, for whatever reason) But seriously I think you wish you had his fame and fortune, who the f*** are you anyway? I never heard of you, you don’t have a TV show. Fieri has earned his fame and fortune through a lifetime of hard work in the restaurant business, so he deserves to do whatever he wants and to be whoever he wants to be, because he’s earned it. Millions of people love him for the kind of stuff you bash him for, you really need to lighten up, you sound like a pompous ass dickhead. His rock ‘n’ roll attitude is one of the things that has earned him millions of fans, just cause’ you don’t like his style doesn’t mean no one else should. Triple D is an AWESOME show, probably the most entertaining foodie show on TV, as a viewer I have learned countless great recipes and cooking tips from all over the USA. And about the golf cart, Guy is also a Hot Rod car guy and has a whole collection of cool cars, Hot Rods and 4×4′s, again those lifted Golf carts are an American craze that millions of people love, why you so smug, bro?

River Canyon May 21, 2014 at 1:11 am

To JJ: You say “he couldn’t come close to making it in a real kitchen”?? WRONG! He has been working in the restaurant business for the LAST THIRTY YEARS!! And you say: “he hangs with his kids who tell him how great he is” You’re going to bash a guy for hanging with his kids??? WTF get a life, loser, guess you don’t hang with your kids and you ain’t your kids hero like Guy is………And you wrote: “This douche put himself out there” Well that’s better than anything you’ve done! You ain’t a TV star now are ya….No you’re just a DoucheBag keyboard critic! ……Also you stated: “I don’t like watching someone have juice drippings go down his arm as he lacks them! Licks his fingers” Well guess what moron then DON’T WATCH IT, WTF are you watching his show for if you don’t like him? it’s a free country so go watch something else that your kind likes to watch, like the Kardashians.

shannon giavonnie May 24, 2014 at 3:20 pm

I can’t stand guy feri they used to have great shows on food network now it’d triple ddd all the time or guy this and that with his gross disgusting eating habits I wish they would cancel him yuck

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