More Reasons to Hate Guy Fieri

by John on August 31, 2010 · 17 comments

I know Jeremy is normally in charge of the Epic Portions Guy Fieri Hatred Department, but I thought he was slacking a little bit on his campaign to snuff out all things Fieri.  As far as I’m concerned, the public should be reminded exactly how stupid this man is on at least a monthly basis.

In this installment of Guy Fieri hatred, I will provide you with a few Fieri Facts that are absolutely 100% true.  Some of them may appear made up, but I promise you they are completely real.  If you are a Guy Fieri fan, I hope helps your problem.

  • Guy describes his bleached, spiky hair look as “kulinary gangsta”. Don’t believe me?  Think your blonde haired chef buddy is way too awesome to ever utter the words “kulinary gangsta”?  Well, fortunately Guy had it tattooed on his forearm.  Observe:

  • He has a recipe currently on the Foot Network’s website called No Can Beato This Taquito. I hear the California Coalition for Immigration Reform needs a cook for their next anti-Mexican fundraiser.
  • His real name is Guy Ramsay Ferry.  No, his real name is not Fieri, it’s Ferry.  It was legally changed to “Fieri” in 1995.
  • He owns a lifted golf cart with a stereo, big tires and is equipped with nitro.

That’s all for now.  Just didn’t want our readers to forget Epic Portions’ on going war against the douchery that is Guy Fieri.  Err, I mean Guy Ferry.  The kulinary gangsta that rides yellow golf carts with big wheels.  Awesome.

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