From the category archives:

Competitive Eating

Kobayashi Arrested

by John on July 5, 2010

In probably the strangest news ever in competitive eating history, Takeru Kobayashi was arrested yesterday during Coney Island’s Fourth of July hot dog contest and charged with resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and trespassing. Kobayashi held out of the event after refusing to sign a contract that restricted his professional eating activities to competitions affiliated with the Major League Eating organization, but decided to attend the event anyway.  After Joey Chestnut won the contest, he jumped on stage and was immediately tackled my security guards and taken to jail.

I’ve always been a Kobayashi fan.  Hell, the man changed competitive eating forever.  Check out the video, though. I feel like the Japanese usually protest a little better than this.  Couldn’t he think of anything better to do than rush the stage after the competition had ended and get all 145 pounds of him whooped and taken off of the stage by the police?  I think it would have been pretty sweet if he somehow crashed into the stage during the competition completely ruining everything.  Bonzzzaaaai!!!!!!!

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Redemption is my Name

by John on February 5, 2010 · 12 comments

On May 25th, 2009 I attempted to eat Bella Italia’s 30″ meat lovers pizza and failed miserably.  Looking back on the attempt,  we did fairly well, but our preparation was lacking.  We decided to give it a try the day of, and our stomachs weren’t even completely empty.  You may remember the end result looking something like this..

Well, I can’t let this embarrassment stand.  I need to go back and complete their current challenge of a 30″ pizza with a 30 minute time limit.  The beautiful part of this is I can bring two partners with me.  I would like to bring two Epic Portions readers with me to attempt this challenge. We will arrange a date and time when we can go in, and you will be a part of the glory, a post on Epic Portions, and a write-up on AnnArbor.com.  I will cover the entry fee, but it’s free if when we finish the pizza.

Comment here, e-mail me, talk to me in person, or however else you want to get ahold of me.  If I don’t know you, I need some proof that you’re a serious eater.  I can hold my own but I doubt I can finish the entire thing.  Get at me before Sunday and I will announce the team on Monday.

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Its not every day a young boy dies at a hot dog eating contest.  Especially a 13 year-old middle school student at a supervised Boys and Girls Club charity event.  Although the choking death appears to be an accident, the Police are investigating.

Call me a conspiracy theorist – but a few things in this story don’t  add up.   First, is that the food these 12 young contest participants were eating makes no sense.  Apparently this wasn’t a contest to see how many hot dogs the kids could eat.  Rather, it was contest was a “game” to see who could finish a cooked hot dog and bun covered with whipped cream.  What the HELL?  Not Fear Factor, but not Great Eats either [Hats off to our EPIE winner!].

Additionally, and weirder, the contest itself was part of a charity event to raise money for the Haiti quake disaster.  That’s weird isn’t it?  An eating contest as a part of an event to raise money for poor people to get. . .food. Lastly, the prize for the kids upon finishing the whip-cream-dog. . .is described as some “candy.”  As in – you kids finish your whip-cream-dog and we will give you some candy.

That is just creepy. Although,I suppose back in the halcyon days of middle school I might have had a go.

The only good news is that the event reported raising $150 for Haitian Relief.  Come to think of it. . .that buys a lot of hot dogs.

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The Double Dagwood

by John on February 3, 2010 · 4 comments

A few months ago my buddy Steve brought me the news that his family had purchased a sandwich shop and they would feature a sandwich challenge known as The Double Dagwood.  This sounded like a fantastic idea to me because I was fresh off my destruction of the Bomber Breakfast and I was ready to take out another local eating challenge.  February 1st was their grand opening and I was there.  My production crew(production crew, HAHA) bailed on me so I was forced to travel all the way to Monroe to take the Double Dagwood Challenge at Doby’s Dagwoods all by my lonesome.  Could a one man force complete this task?  Was it a suicide mission?  Well, I guess you have to keep reading to find out.

Upon arrival, I was shown the frame on the wall which displayed the current record holder, a man weighing over one hundred pounds more than myself who finished the sandwich in 21 minutes and 45 seconds.  I had seen pictures of the sandwich before on Steve’s cell phone but it did the sandwich no justice.  This thing was a monster.  The Double Dagwood is basically two of their already large Dagwood Sandwiches.  It’s a double decker version with pretty much every meat in the place, a couple different kinds of cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions and their special dagwood sauce, which is a honey mustard sauce.

I took a seat and they began constructing the sandwich.  After a few minutes went by I needed to witness what I was about to eat.  Upon entering the kitchen, the familiar sandwich from the display was laid out on their prep area.  This thing was going to be rough.  I’ve eaten a lot of food before but nothing like this.  I think I’ve eaten around three pounds of food before, but it’s never been in the form of a sandwich and it was never timed.


Finally, after adding more meat then they had thought was necessary, the sandwich went onto the scale.  I had expected a four pound sandwich but apparently the sandwich only weighs in at three, which chips and a pickle on the side.  Regardless of the one pound weight difference, this was still going to be tough.  They put the sandwich in front of me on the table and the thing was really starting to scare me.  I had acted pretty confident up until this point but I was really beginning to have doubts.  Could I actually do this?  Could my stomach hold this entire thing in?  I was about to find out.

Unfortunately my production crew(production crew, HAHA) was absent during the challenge, so you’re going to have to take my word on my technique.

I took the sandwich apart and spit it in halves.  The bottom half contained most of the meat so I decided it would be smart to begin with that.  Upon my first bite, it really hit me how much meat was on this thing.  Even after squeezing it down as much as possible, there was still four or five inches of meat to bite through.  My technique was simply to take as big of bites as possible and chew frantically.  I definitely tested the size of my esophagus and swallowed some chunks of meat that weren’t even partially chewed yet.  I ate the middle piece of bread in between bites and the first half the sandwich went down in only about six minutes.  This was going well so far.

Upon my first bite of the top half of the sandwich, I realized that the onions on this sandwich were among the most potent onions I have ever had.  One hit the back of my throat and my gag reflex was immediately triggered.  I went through and pulled off as many onions as I could.  This is where things started going bad.  I kept eating and shoving the chips into my mouth but my jaw was growing very tired.  Bites were taking twice as long to chew and time was going by fast.  At the 21 minute and 45 second mark, I had only about a bite or two left or bread and the scraps that were on my plate.

I took a small break and finished the sandwich in about 24 minutes.  I was full, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t the fullness that prevented me from setting a new record.  My jaw was overworked and those onions punches me in the back of the throat.

I will return shortly to complete this record after doing some jaw gymnastics or something.  This shouldn’t be too tough next time.  Thanks to Steve and Doby’s Dagwoods for making me this gigantic sandwich on their opening day.

Update: I was informed by Steve that the previous record holder actually completed the challenge with a pound less meat than I did so apparently the word is that I am the new record holder.  Excellence is my middle name.

If you want to try the Double Dagwood for yourself, the address is..

Doby’s Dagwoods
111 South Monroe Street
Monroe, MI 48161
http://www.dobysdagwood.com/

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Bomber Breakfast. FTW.

January 6, 2010

On February 21st, 2009 I attempted the Bomber Breakfast for the first time and failed miserably.  It was an embarrassing moment for me.  The waitresses laughed at me, and the bus boy made me bus my own table.  As I was pulling out of the parking lot, customers began throwing ...

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Kobayashi’s Back, Mofos

September 28, 2009
kobayashi

Kobayashi gave a giant middle finger to Joey Chestnut, in the form of slider consumption.  In eight minutes Takeru was able to take down 93 sliders in the Krystal Square-Off this weekend.   Chestnut only finished with 81.  Holy shit. “We knew today’s Krystal Square Off championship was going to ...

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Joey Chestnut Kills 64 Hotdogs in 10 minutes

June 30, 2009

So apparently Joey Chestnut was at Hooters last night practicing his hot dog eating skillzzz, and managed to put down 64 in 10 minutes.  Wait, isn’t the record 66?  This man is my hero. edit: Chestnut’s record of 66 was done in 12 minutes(thanks Craig).  The new time limit is ...

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