A lot of people wonder why I like food so much but still continue to frequent fast food restaurants. People even question my taste in food because of it. The truth is, fast food tastes good. It’s designed and processed that way. If you don’t like fast food, is probably because you’re smart enough to realize that the reason it tastes good is the same reason it’s terrible for you. Then again, I know that good and well but still need to get my fix every once in a while. There’s just a few things that I could never go without. On that list is KFC’s Famous Bowl.
The Famous Bowl isn’t new or relevant to anything, I just love Famous Bowls. I know, to some people, it’s the most disgusting fast food combination ever created, but to me it’s perfection. I’m one of those people that combines their entire Thanksgiving dinner into one pile until it resembles something that they would serve in prison. The mixture of mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, gravy,and corn makes my Thanksgiving every year. Apparently someone at KFC used this same mixture method and decided to apply it to their menu. Good man.
It was a basic concept to combine mashed potatoes, gravy, and chicken. Who hasn’t mixed their chicken with their mashed potatoes before? They took this a step further adding corn and just got absolutely ridiculous by topping the entire thing with cheese. Whose idea was it to top this heart attack bowl with cheese? Whoever you are, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You deserve a medal.
The Famous Bowl tops out with 740 calories, 31 grams of fat and 9 grams of saturated fat, 2110 mg sodium. If you’re on a 2,000 calorie diet the bowl provides you with a third of your calories, 47% of your fat and 45% of your saturated fats, and 87% of your sodium. That’s not irresponsible, that’s a bargain.
So to the people who think it’s ridiculous that I like Famous Bowls while giving my opinion on more “respectable” cuisine, I completely agree with you. There’s just something about this mess of slop that I have to have.
On a completely random note, skip to the .52 second mark on this video for more on prison slop. Or just watch the whole thing for comedic greatness.
I’m back with yet another report on an authentic Mexican joint in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area. If you know me well, then you know La Fuente is my favorite place in the entire world. Well, that may be an exaggeration but it’s certainly up there. Not only do they have the best chips and salsa guy in the entire world, but the best Mexican food in the area as well. My buddy Tommy has been arguing with me for some time, and trying to say that Los Amigos kills La Fuente. After my first trip, I completely disagreed with him. I wasn’t impressed at all. After a few months and multiple people telling me that Los Amigos has the best Mexican food in the area, I decided I didn’t have an open mind during my previous visit and it was time to give them another shot. Not that I was going to be unfaithful to my beautiful La Fuente. I’m what you could call a Mexican restaurant polygamist. It’s OK to have more than one favorite.
Los Amigos is a bit of a cruise down Michigan Ave into the middle of nowhere, but nothing ridiculous. It’s actually right past Gabriel’s Hoagies which almost lured me in and ruined Los Amigo’s second chance. They’re housed in a building that’s a little intimidating looking, but once you step inside you find yourself in a very friendly, clean atmosphere. The bar is right by the front door which is housed in a medium sized dining area where the smoking takes place. I got there at about 4:30 PM on a Tuesday and the bar was completely packed. More on this later. As you walk to the back section of the restaurant, you enter a very nice and should I say festive(?) dining room. I was surprised to see the area completely empty at this time, but that would change later.
Chips and salsa guy got chips and salsa down before I could even take a picture. Impressive.
After we sat down, about 5 seconds had elapsed before the chips and salsa were on the table. Los Amigos chips and salsa guy definitely has talent, but just isn’t quite a first ballot hall of famer like La Fuente chips and salsa guy. I don’t mean to take away from a very impressive effort, he’s just the early 90’s Buffalo Bills of chips and salsa guys. No shame in that.
The chips and salsa at this place are quite good. The chips are warm and obviously made in house, while the salsa is smooth, full of flavor and completely fresh tasting. I’m not a huge fan of chunky salsa so this was perfect. It looks a little like a picante sauce at first, but once you dive in there’s a few chunks of tomato, onion and other goodies.
I had heard rumors of drink specials that could make a grown man cry, so I asked the waitress what the current special was on margaritas. The answer I got? Half off all alcohol. Yes my friends, half off all alcoholic beverages. What she means by that is you take the price you would normally pay for what you’re drinking, divide it by two, and that’s what you’re actually paying. So for every two drinks you have, you’re really paying for one full priced drink. I know this doesn’t require that much explanation, but it sure is fun to explain how half off all alcohol works.
Naturally, I ordered a large margarita pitcher on the rocks which cost me $8.50. Happy hour is 7 days a week from 3-6pm at this place. This explains the full to capacity bar area on a Tuesday afternoon. Alcoholics.
This place was impressive so far. Talented chips and salsa guy delivering tasty chips and salsa and incredible drink specials? They couldn’t possibly screw this up, could they?
The menu at this place has a ridiculous amount of items. Usually I use the system of finding three things I want then picking one when the waitress puts the pressure on me, but I had to ask for more time TWICE. They have your standard Mexican categories, but so many varieties of each item. They have 26 combos, 14 specialties, 4 different types of fajitas, 11 burritos and much more. I ended up sticking with the burrito portion of the menu, even though the Enchiladas Poblanas were stuffed with BRRF. Yum.
I went with the Burritos Tampiqueno, which is two burritos – one steak, one grilled chicken, topped with green salsa and served up with black beans a rice. I was almost lured in by the Pollo Loco, but the burritos just sounded too good to pass up. What I got was a HUGE double burrito platter with plenty of beans and rice on the side. This was the perfect portion for me.
The burritos were smothered in the delicious green salsa and were stuffed to capacity with fillings. The steak was perfectly cooked and very flavorful. The burrito consisted of nothing else to mess around with the flavor, just good ol’ salsa, tortilla, and steak. The chicken was surprisingly flavorful as well, although not as impressive as the steak. I have to say this is one of the more impressive burrito offerings I have ever received. The fact that it’s as simple as it is but still incredibly flavorful is a huge accomplishment in my book. Ahh, the beauty of Mexican cuisine.
Stephanie went with the Special Dinner, which had caught my eye as well. This Special Dinner, which is a perfect name, comes with one chalupa, one chile relleno, one taco, one tamale, and served with beans and rice. I’m pretty sure she assumed that it was mini portions of each, which I did as well, because her facial expression turned to horror when the waiter brought her out two completely full plates of food. This was like a Mexican combo for the Gods.
The special dinner turned out to be pretty so so, or to be really clever… not so special. The enchilada was just as good as my burrito and topped with an absolutely delicious sauce. Unfortunately, the taco was your normal every day taco, the tamale was very average, and we couldn’t even remember what the chile relleno was until we took another look at the menu. Chile rellenos are normally one of my favorite foods in the entire world, but this one just fell a little flat to me. Overall not an awful dish, but I would suggest wandering your eyes elsewhere.
Special Dinner part 1: Chile rellano, guac, taco
Special Dinner part 2: Tamale, enchilada, beans, and rice
Completely stuffed after finishing mine and half of Stephanie’s dinner to go along with two baskets of chips, I sat back and let my stomach stretch out a bit. I couldn’t possibly eat any more food after what I just ate. The portions were perfect and that was a whole lot of lime juice and tequila that I had just taken down. Definitely couldn’t eat anything else even if I wanted to. Nope.
Oh wait, they have Fried Ice Cream. Yes, I ate more.
All in all, not a bad place at all. Drinks are cheap, portions are large and fairly priced, and the food was good. I would have to say they easily make my list of top 5 Mexican joints in the area, but no where close to #1, which is still reserved for my beautiful beautiful La Funete. Definitely worth a try if you’re a fan of good, authentic Mexican food like myself.
If you’re going to head over there, make sure you print out one of the many coupons on their website. Savings is always a good thing.
About a year ago, the old A&W location on Washtenaw that had been vacant for years had a sign out front advertising that a burrito joint called Pacific Beach Burritos would soon move in. This caught my eye because I am a burrito fanatic. They’re like beauty wrapped in a tortilla sleeping bag. It saddens me that I don’t have a place around here to get a quality burrito to go. Sure, we have Qdoba, Chipolte, Panchero’s, and Moe’s within a 15 mile radius, but no actual burrito joints. Big Ten Burrito is great and all, but it’s a ways to drive for me. About three months ago the place finally opened and I was there.
The following is a multiple part piece. I have been to Pacific Beach Burritos several different time and have had mixed feelings on the food I have received each time. The food given to me during one of my visits was enough to make me never go back again. I decided to return today to give them one final shot. They had one final opportunity to earn my love. This sounds like some sort of VH1 reality show, but hey.. I take my food seriously. Especially my burritos.
During my first visit to Pacific Beach Burritos , I noticed several things right away. First, there were several cars parked right out front, but no actual customers in the place. Apparently these first few spots out front are for the employees. One of them drives a Mercedes. Weird. Second, there is a salsa bar. To me, salsa bars = success. Give me the freedom to sample every kind of salsa you have and control how much goes on my food and you might have a loyal customer just because of that. Bland food? That’s OK. I’ll cover it in salsa and things should be alright between us. Third, the cooks in the back are wearing actual white chef coats. There’s not just one guy wearing a T-shirt in the back rolling up your burritos. There’s three or four guys in full chef attire making burritos and whatever else they do back there.
The menu consists of burritos, tacos, tortas, combo platters, and salads. The menu is simple but the few options that they have are very diverse. There are 13 different types of burritos, 7 different types of tacos, 3 different tortas, 6 combination platters, and 4 salads. There’s a side section where you can add quesadillas, nachos and other items to your meal for only a few dollars more. You can also add items from the “extras” menu, such as mexican carrots, tortilla chips, jalapenos, pico de gallo, or guacamole. Most of the items are available with Carne Asada steak, chicken, or pork. The menu is very impressive and is available on their website.
I ordered the Macho Ypsilanti Burritowhich consists of Carne Asada Steak, pico de gallo, rice, and beans. I figured this was the best burrito for me to try because it consisted of ingredients that I was most familiar with. If this standard issue burrito was good, I figured I would return and sample some of their other menu items. I stopped by the salsa bar and picked up some of the spicy and mild salsas, as well as their green salsa verde. I was impressed so far.
Macho Ypsilanti Burrito
The burrito I got was good, but nothing great. The size was large, but nothing close to the burritos I had heard stories about on the West Coast. The steak was very tender and juicy, but really lacked flavor. The fillings were light, and most of the burrito consisted of tortilla. The most disappointing part was that the salsas completely lacked flavor, as well. Not only was the spicy salsa not spicy, but it really didn’t taste like anything at all. The mild had a little flavor, but was almost as bland as the spicy. The salsa verde was the same story. The meal ended up being rather bland and I was not impressed. I was actually rather disappointed. I figured I would have to give them another shot at a later date.
About a week later, I returned to give Pacific Beach Burritos another shot to earn my love. I decided to switch it up and order the Chorizo Burrito, Enchildas Combo Platter and a Shredded Pork Burrito. This may seem like a lot of food for one person, but I wanted to give them every chance to impress me. Unfortunately I didn’t bring my camera so you’ll just have to trust me. The Chorizo Burrito consists of chorizo, of course, and eggs. Pretty simple. What I got was a gigantic burrito stuffed with about 99.85% chorizo with the rest being egg. It was completely overwhelming and I couldn’t even get through a quarter of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some chorizo but as the only component in a burrito? It just seemed completely ridiculous to me. The Enchiladas Platter was/were ONE ENCHILADA that was the size of a frozen taquito that one might purchase at the grocery store, and topped with a flavorless red sauce and a drizzle of sour cream. It was horrible. Somehow, the pork burrito topped each of them. The Pork Burrito was the same as the Chorizo Burrito, in that it was all pork. This would be excusable if the pork is flavorful and juicy, but it wasn’t. It was tough and lacked any flavor whatsoever. I ended up taking two bites and throwing it away. I immediately wished I had brought my camera, because Pacific Beach Burritos would have felt a Tio’s like wrath on Epic Portions. I swore this would be my last visit.
Recently, I decided to give the place one more shot. I’m not sure why, but I wanted to like Pacific Beach Burritos. The place the kind of charm that I look for in a joint and I had been waiting forever for it to open. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? We would find out…
This particular visit, I decided to order the San Diego Burrito, which consists of Carne Asada steak, french fries, cheese and sour cream, and three Rolled Tacos with chicken and guacamole on the side. I asked for several cups of the hot sauce hoping they had adjusted their recipe due to massive amounts of customer complaints.
San Diego Burrito
San Diego Burrito
The burrito was a little better, but it still shared that bland taste with the other burritos I had tried. The steak was once again juicy and tender, the fries were crunchy and made a nice addition, the cheese was a little heavy(and yellow), and the sour scream was a pretty scarce. It was filling and tasted pretty good, but it just wasn’t what I had expected when I first saw the place. The salsa was once again tasteless and not impressive at all.
Rolled Tacos
The rolled tacos weren’t too impressive either. Actually, they were rather terrible. They resembled the same microwave style taquitos that came with the enchiladas. They were tiny and sprinkled with what looked like just a bunch of random toppings(tomatoes, onions, ect.). I ordered mine with chicken because I had stuck to the Carne Asada in every other item I had ordered and was horribly disappointed by it. I guess it’s rare that you actually get chicken that’s anything special at a Mexican or Southwest joint, but this chicken just wasn’t good. The beef made up for a lack of flavor with juiciness and the chicken completely lacked that. It was dry and tasteless. I will say that the guacamole was good stuff, which made the tacos edible.
Dry chicken tacos
It’s been a pretty disappointing few visits to Pacific Beach Burritos. I had very high hopes for this local burrito joint, but every thing I’ve eaten has either been very average or fallen completely fat. I can’t decide whether or not I will give them another chance, but the fact that they’re about to start offering delivery will probably mean I’ll give them a chance for redemption for the simple fact that it will be convenient. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not terrible and I would recommend that you give them an opportunity. I just wasn’t horribly impressed by them.
As a carnivore, I have much appreciation for the animals I eat and their overwhelming deliciousness. That is why an experience such as I had this evening pains me so. I went to dinner to celebrate a birthday for a family member at a restaurant in swanky downtown Plymouth, MI called Tavern 1999. I purposely left my camera at home so I could enjoy a meal without having to review or write about the food. I just wanted to enjoy myself and see my nephew and the rest of my family in a non-working capacity. And I would have been able to do that if Tavern 1999 didn’t destroy my pork chops.
I loooooove pork chops. When I make them at home I use Jamaican Jerk seasoning and they are mine and my son’s favorite. The pork chop is a forgiving cut of meat, season it well, and DON’T OVERCOOK THE MEAT OR IT WILL BE TOO DRY!!! Well guess what the barbarians at Tavern 1999 did? They overcooked my damn pork chop. Not just by a little, they sucked all the delicious pork juice out in a food faux pas most foul. I almost cried, not for me, but for the poor pig. This was a culinary crime, a pig died to be turned into a dry, overcooked piece of shoe leather. That ain’t right.
Doubly infuriating was that along with my pork chop flambe, Tavern 1999 served the most delicious cole slaw I’ve had in a long time. How do you fuck up a pork chop that bad but put so much attention into cole slaw? They used some kind of seedy stone ground mustard in the slaw dressing and it was outstanding. And in the interest of fairness I had a bite of the “St. Louis Style” Ribs and they were very good. As I am originally from the S-T-L, I felt they did justice to the ribs. My man Nelly would be proud.
In short, Tavern 1999 may be a decent restaurant, but my displeasure with them runs deep. Don’t overcook my pork chop, you amateurs. They need to apologize to all of pigdom for the way they treated the poor beast that ended up on my plate.
epicportions: Just ate Rio Wraps and was reminded why I never eat there. My stomach feels the same way it did when Sandra Bullock won an oscar. 1 day ago
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