In this area, most people head to Ann Arbor for their dining choices.  Some people like to stick around Ypsilanti and visit Sidetrack or Aubree’s.  I can’t argue with any of these choices, but when it comes to really good local joints you just can’t beat a trip down Michigan Ave.  Sure, you may feel like you’re in a bit of an odd(for some people, scary) area on your way there but once you reach Gabriel’s Hoagies, Roy’s Squeeze-Inn or Los Amigos you’ll feel like you’re in food heaven.  These are some of the few businesses on this strip that remain from the 1950’s and before, and are offering not only great food, but an experience that you just can’t find many other places.

Bill's Drive-In - Ypsilanti, MI

Right across the street from Gabriel’s and Roy’s sits Bill’s Drive-In, which like both places, has fed locals for 50+ years(since 1935, to be exact).  The building looks like a tiny mustard colored house surrounded by a parking lot,  but two windows at the front and crooked signage indicating hot dogs and root beer let you know that this little house is actually a hot dog stand.  Pull in, but don’t get out of your car.  An attendant will be at your car within one minute and they do not serve customers at the front window.

There are no menus at Bill’s.  If you’re not sure what you want, the attendant will quickly tell you what they offer.  Hot dogs with or without chili, topped with your choice of onions, cheese, or mustard.  Loose burgers are also offered. There is homemade root beer to drink, and potato chips if you need a side.  If that’s not simple enough for you then I think you may have some sort of problem.  If you need something else other than that, I just don’t think Bill’s isn’t for you.  This isn’t Pink’s or any kind of fancy Hollywood hot dog stand.  They don’t need any other items.  Their menu is perfect.

Chili Dog from Bill's Drive-In - Ypsilanti, MI

Order a dog or two with chili and a large root beer.  It will only cost you about $3.00.  Open the paper wrap and you’ll find a steamed white bun that is shorter than the hot dog.   The hot dog is cooked by boiling and kept warm by steam. The dogs are naturally cased and while they don’t have as much snap as I would normally like, the flavor makes it completely OK.  The chili is very unique.  Not quite Coney chili, but not like.. Well, it’s hard to explain.  It’s definitely tomato rich and a little spicier than most Coney chili.  They have gotten the chili to hot dog ratio perfect and the ratio is consistent on every order.  The dog is topped with plenty of chili, but just not enough to spill all over your lap while eating it in your car.

Homemade Root Beer from Bill's Drive-In - Ypsilanti, MI

The hot dogs and chili are delicious, but the real star of Bill’s Drive-In is the root beer.  Believe me when I tell you that this is the best root beer you will ever had.  I have traveled thousands of miles on a quest to find the worlds’ best root beer.  I haven’t really, but I’ve tried a lot of root beer in my life and this is by far the best.  There’s not even a close second.  The root beer is rich, creamy, a little syrupy, with a nice bite to the finish.  It’s the definition of legit.  You just can’t get root beet like this anywhere else, especially in a bottle or can.  Next time you visit, ask to take a gallon home with you. It comes in a simple milk jug and will be gone in 24 hours.  You’ll thank me later.

Bill’s is another example of the great good that exists in this area if you look for it.  It’s not exactly a hidden gem, but most people would have to venture out farther than they usually go for a meal to find it.  Do some research and you will find places, such as Bill’s, which offers so much more appeal and history than simply going to a chain restaurant and eating something that has little thought and process behind it.

Since I am currently in the middle of an intense boycott of Tios’ Mexican Cafe, there has never been a way for me to share with the readers who do not reside in Ann Arbor the absolute horror that is their food.  That ends now.  Some poor soul went and paid $10.00 for one of their world famous* wet burritos and snapped a picture of it.  (thanks uchian)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Tios’ Mexican Cafe’s world famous* wet burrito.

World Famously Terrible

Now all we need is for the Ann Arbor location to go under.  Hmm, wonder if they’ll blame the new location going out of business on Ann Arbor’s economy like they did after the Ypsilanti one closed.  It couldn’t possibly be that the food is awful.  No way.

If you’re unfamiliar with my hatred for Tios Mexican Cafe, I urge you to review the battle archives.

• Tios – A Rant (May 13, 2009)
• Tios Recieves a Good Review???? (August 5, 2009)
• Dear Tios, You Suck (November 20, 2009)
• Tios.  Torn Down. (December 9, 2009)
• Tios.  Torn Down.  Part 2.  (December 29, 2009)
• Mission Accomplished (March 23, 2010)

* – denotes bullshit

Too often in this world we don’t get a chance to tell those we care about how we feel until it is too late.  Well, I’m not going to let that happen to me!  Trader Joe’s, you are awesome and I love you.  From your delicious trail mixes, specialty beer, three buck Chuck, pre-cooked chicken sausage (amazing), sauces and desserts, to the way you rip off my iPod every time I shop there. The last two times I went there TJ’s was piping in Radiohead and Bob Marley.  When was the last time you heard Radiohead at a grocery store?

TJ's never leaves me High and Dry.

As for delicious food, I would specifically like to speak about several different TJ’s specialties that have won my heart.  For an appetizer, start with Trader Joe’s Horseradish Hummus and Trader Joe’s Pita Chips.  Combine these two and life is grand.  I had never found a horseradish hummus before I first spotted it at TJ’s and have seen it nowhere else since.  Too bad?  Not really, because no one could do it as well as TJ anyway.

Trader Joe's Horseradish Hummus

What better way to wash down horseradish hummus than beer?  TJ’s has a wonderful beer selection, but I usually get Trader Joe’s Bavarian Hefeweizen. 

TJ's Hefeweizen

Delicious and refreshing, I have yet to wear this out and move on to another of TJ’s beer offerings, but no doubt I eventually will.  And that one will be great as well. 

Finally, I have to say a word about the greatest sandwich cookie known to man or beast.  The Joe-Joe.  Joe-Joe’s would be best described as similar to an Oreo, but some of the greatest minds in cookie engineering have made a better cookie. 

Joe-Joe's. Eat and squawk loudly.

The tops of the cookies easily peel away if, like my son, you enjoy removing the top of the cookie and eating the crème filling.  Oreo has not mastered this trick and it is still possible to break your Oreo (especially if you are six) when you try to unscrew the lid.  Unforgivable.  Joe-Joe’s also have about as much crème as a Double Stuff Oreo, so they are more robust on top of their superior engineering.  TJ’s offers them in three flavors:  vanilla cookie with vanilla crème filling, chocolate cookie with vanilla crème filling, and my favorite, chocolate cookie with chocolate crème filling.  They used to offer a chocolate cookie with a peanut butter filling that was incredible but it has been discontinued.  I never received a satisfactory answer as to why they did this, but years ago I sent a dead fish wrapped in newspaper to TJ’s Corporate HQ and feel better about the whole thing now.  Ain’t no time to hate.  Amazing how the sending of a dead fish washes away the anger…

I plan to have a segment in the future called “Jeremy and Trader Joe’s Semi-Homemade is better than Sandra Lee’s.”  In that feature I will show how you can make a healthy and delicious dinner for a family in 20 minutes (suck on it Rachael Ray) using products purchased at TJ’s (except for shallots, which I use a lot and TJ’s does not carry.)  I often say that we here at Epic Portions have the most intelligent readership on the web, and most of you have brains and know how to combine pre-made ingredients.  I don’t think I’m some kind of genius, but since cooking duties are mine every night I appreciate a simple, healthy meal that tastes good, the kids like, and saves me a little time and effort.  Contrary to popular belief, making dinner every night with a six year old and a one year old roaming loose in the house is not the easiest thing in the world.  If my time savers can help anyone with similar duties and keep them from watching Sandra Lee than I have done something positive.  And I promise, no tablescape bullshit.

So there it is, TJ’s.  It doesn’t matter if you feel the same about me, or that your cashier made my daughter cry, I still love you.  Maybe next time I’m there you can dim the lights and play some Barry White.  I can’t get enough of your horseradish hummus, babe.

After many months of attempting to persuade the city of Ypsilanti to rid itself of of Tios Mexican Cafe, it was brought to my attention this morning that I have won the first battle in my defense of Mexican cuisine.  Tios’ Ypsilanti location is now closed for business. 

I say this is simply a victory in battle, rather than a war, because there is still a Tios location open in Ann Arbor and while the seats stay primarily empty, it has managed to stay afloat.  Tios must be stopped.

If you have forgotten why we fight this bloody but important war, I urge you to review the Tios Battle Archives and renew your hatred for their attempted destruction of authentic Mexican cuisine.

• Tios – A Rant (May 13, 2009)
• Tios Recieves a Good Review???? (August 5, 2009)
• Dear Tios, You Suck (November 20, 2009)
• Tios.  Torn Down. (December 9, 2009)
• Tios.  Torn Down.  Part 2.  (December 29, 2009)

Thank you, residents of Ypsilanti, for resisting their signs advertising a “World Famous Wet Burrito”, “Best Mexican Food in Ypsilanti”, and other propaganda aimed at destroying Mexican food in our community.  This city is host to many great Mexican restaurants, and I urge you to give them a try.

I now give you Tios on fire.  I love this picture.

I’m back with yet another report on an authentic Mexican joint in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area.  If you know me well, then you know La Fuente is my favorite place in the entire world.  Well, that may be an exaggeration but it’s certainly up there.  Not only do they have the best chips and salsa guy in the entire world, but the best Mexican food in the area as well.  My buddy Tommy has been arguing with me for some time, and trying to say that Los Amigos kills La Fuente.  After my first trip, I completely disagreed with him.  I wasn’t impressed at all.  After a few months and multiple people telling me that Los Amigos has the best Mexican food in the area, I decided I didn’t have an open mind during my previous visit and it was time to give them another shot.  Not that I was going to be unfaithful to my beautiful La Fuente.  I’m what you could call a Mexican restaurant polygamist.  It’s OK to have more than one favorite.

Los Amigos is a bit of a cruise down Michigan Ave into the middle of nowhere, but nothing ridiculous.  It’s actually right past Gabriel’s Hoagies which almost lured me in and ruined Los Amigo’s second chance.  They’re housed in a building that’s a little intimidating looking, but once you step inside you find yourself in a very friendly, clean atmosphere.  The bar is right by the front door which is housed in a medium sized dining area where the smoking takes place.  I got there at about 4:30 PM on a Tuesday and the bar was completely packed.  More on this later.  As you walk to the back section of the restaurant, you enter a very nice and should I say festive(?) dining room.  I was surprised to see the area completely empty at this time, but that would change later.

Chips and salsa guy got chips and salsa down before I could even take a picture. Impressive.

After we sat down, about 5 seconds had elapsed before the chips and salsa were on the table.  Los Amigos chips and salsa guy definitely has talent, but just isn’t quite a first ballot hall of famer like La Fuente chips and salsa guy.  I don’t mean to take away from a very impressive effort, he’s just the early 90’s Buffalo Bills of chips and salsa guys.  No shame in that.

The chips and salsa at this place are quite good.  The chips are warm and obviously made in house, while the salsa is smooth, full of flavor and completely fresh tasting.  I’m not a huge fan of chunky salsa so this was perfect.  It looks a little like a picante sauce at first, but once you dive in there’s a few chunks of tomato, onion and other goodies.

I had heard rumors of drink specials that could make a grown man cry, so I asked the waitress what the current special was on margaritas.  The answer I got?  Half off all alcohol.  Yes my friends, half off all alcoholic beverages.  What she means by that is you take the price you would normally pay for what you’re drinking, divide it by two, and that’s what you’re actually paying.  So for every two drinks you have, you’re really paying for one full priced drink.  I know this doesn’t require that much explanation, but it sure is fun to explain how half off all alcohol works.

Naturally, I ordered a large margarita pitcher on the rocks which cost me $8.50.  Happy hour is 7 days a week from 3-6pm at this place.  This explains the full to capacity bar area on a Tuesday afternoon.   Alcoholics.

This place was impressive so far.  Talented chips and salsa guy delivering tasty chips and salsa and incredible drink specials?  They couldn’t possibly screw this up, could they?

The menu at this place has a ridiculous amount of items.  Usually I use the system of finding three things I want then picking one when the waitress puts the pressure on me, but I had to ask for more time TWICE.  They have your standard Mexican categories, but so many varieties of each item.  They have 26 combos, 14 specialties, 4 different types of fajitas, 11 burritos and much more.  I ended up sticking with the burrito portion of the menu, even though the Enchiladas Poblanas were stuffed with BRRF.  Yum.

I went with the Burritos Tampiqueno, which is two burritos – one steak, one grilled chicken, topped with green salsa and served up with black beans a rice.  I was almost lured in by the Pollo Loco, but the burritos just sounded too good to pass up.  What I got was a HUGE double burrito platter with plenty of beans and rice on the side.  This was the perfect portion for me.

The burritos were smothered in the delicious green salsa and were stuffed to capacity with fillings.  The steak was perfectly cooked and very flavorful.  The burrito consisted of nothing else to mess around with the flavor, just good ol’ salsa, tortilla, and steak.  The chicken was surprisingly flavorful as well, although not as impressive as the steak.  I have to say this is one of the more impressive burrito offerings I have ever received.  The fact that it’s as simple as it is but still incredibly flavorful is a huge accomplishment in my book.  Ahh, the beauty of Mexican cuisine.

Stephanie went with the Special Dinner, which had caught my eye as well.  This Special Dinner, which is a perfect name, comes with one chalupa, one chile relleno, one taco, one tamale, and served with beans and rice.  I’m pretty sure she assumed that it was mini portions of each, which I did as well, because her facial expression turned to horror when the waiter brought her out two completely full plates of food.  This was like a Mexican combo for the Gods.

The special dinner turned out to be pretty so so, or to be really clever… not so special.  The enchilada was just as good as my burrito and topped with an absolutely delicious sauce.   Unfortunately, the taco was your normal every day taco, the tamale was very average, and we couldn’t even remember what the chile relleno was until we took another look at the menu.  Chile rellenos are normally one of my favorite foods in the entire world, but this one just fell a little flat to me.  Overall not an awful dish, but I would suggest wandering your eyes elsewhere.

Special Dinner part 1: Chile rellano, guac, taco

Special Dinner part 2: Tamale, enchilada, beans, and rice

Completely stuffed after finishing mine and half of Stephanie’s dinner to go along with two baskets of chips, I sat back and let my stomach stretch out a bit.  I couldn’t possibly eat any more food after what I just ate.  The portions were perfect and that was a whole lot of lime juice and tequila that I had just taken down.  Definitely couldn’t eat anything else even if I wanted to.  Nope.

Oh wait, they have Fried Ice Cream.  Yes, I ate more.

All in all, not a bad place at all.  Drinks are cheap, portions are large and fairly priced, and the food was good.  I would have to say they easily make my list of top 5 Mexican joints in the area, but no where close to #1, which is still reserved for my beautiful beautiful La Funete.  Definitely worth a try if you’re a fan of good, authentic Mexican food like myself.

If you’re going to head over there, make sure you print out one of the many coupons on their website.  Savings is always a good thing.

About a year ago, the old A&W location on Washtenaw that had been vacant for years had a sign out front advertising that a burrito joint called Pacific Beach Burritos would soon move in.  This caught my eye because I am a burrito fanatic.  They’re like beauty wrapped in a tortilla sleeping bag.  It saddens me that I don’t have a place around here to get a quality burrito to go.   Sure, we have Qdoba, Chipolte, Panchero’s, and Moe’s within a 15 mile radius, but no actual burrito joints.  Big Ten Burrito is great and all, but it’s a ways to drive for me.  About three months ago the place finally opened and I was there.

The following is a multiple part piece.  I have been to Pacific Beach Burritos several different time and have had mixed feelings on the food I have received each time.  The food given to me during one of my visits was enough to make me never go back again.  I decided to return today to give them one final shot.  They had one final opportunity to earn my love.  This sounds like some sort of VH1 reality show, but hey.. I take my food seriously.  Especially my burritos.

During my first visit to Pacific Beach Burritos , I noticed several things right away.  First, there were several cars parked right out front, but no actual customers in the place.  Apparently these first few spots out front are for the employees.  One of them drives a Mercedes.  Weird.  Second, there is a salsa bar.  To me, salsa bars = success.  Give me the freedom to sample every kind of salsa you have and control how much goes on my food and you might have a loyal customer just because of that.  Bland food?  That’s OK.  I’ll cover it in salsa and things should be alright between us.  Third, the cooks in the back are wearing actual white chef coats.  There’s not just one guy wearing a T-shirt in the back rolling up your burritos.   There’s three or four guys in full chef attire making burritos and whatever else they do back there.

The menu consists of burritos, tacos, tortas, combo platters, and salads.  The menu is simple but the few options that they have are very diverse.  There are 13 different types of burritos, 7 different types of tacos, 3 different tortas, 6 combination platters, and 4 salads.  There’s a side section where you can add quesadillas, nachos and other items to your meal for only a few dollars more.  You can also add items from the “extras” menu, such as mexican carrots, tortilla chips, jalapenos, pico de gallo, or guacamole.  Most of the items are available with Carne Asada steak, chicken, or pork.  The menu is very impressive and is available on their website.

I ordered the Macho Ypsilanti Burrito which consists of Carne Asada Steak, pico de gallo, rice, and beans.  I figured this was the best burrito for me to try because it consisted of ingredients that I was most familiar with.  If this standard issue burrito was good, I figured I would return and sample some of their other menu items.  I stopped by the salsa bar and picked up some of the spicy and mild salsas, as well as their green salsa verde.  I was impressed so far.

Macho Ypsilanti Burrito

The burrito I got was good, but nothing great.  The size was large, but nothing close to the burritos I had heard stories about on the West Coast.  The steak was very tender and juicy, but really lacked flavor.  The fillings were light, and most of the burrito consisted of tortilla.  The most disappointing part was that the salsas completely lacked flavor, as well.  Not only was the spicy salsa not spicy, but it really didn’t taste like anything at all.  The mild had a little flavor, but was almost as bland as the spicy.  The salsa verde was the same story.  The meal ended up being rather bland and I was not impressed.  I was actually rather disappointed.  I figured I would have to give them another shot at a later date.

About a week later, I returned to give Pacific Beach Burritos another shot to earn my love.  I decided to switch it up and order the Chorizo Burrito, Enchildas Combo Platter and a Shredded Pork Burrito.  This may seem like a lot of food for one person, but I wanted to give them every chance to impress me.  Unfortunately I didn’t bring my camera so you’ll just have to trust me.  The Chorizo Burrito consists of chorizo, of course, and eggs.  Pretty simple.  What I got was a gigantic burrito stuffed with about 99.85% chorizo with the rest being egg.  It was completely overwhelming and I couldn’t even get through a quarter of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some chorizo but as the only component in a burrito?  It just seemed completely ridiculous to me.  The Enchiladas Platter was/were ONE ENCHILADA that was the size of a frozen taquito that one might purchase at the grocery store, and topped with a flavorless red sauce and a drizzle of sour cream.  It was horrible.  Somehow, the pork burrito topped each of them.  The Pork Burrito was the same as the Chorizo Burrito, in that it was all pork.  This would be excusable if the pork is flavorful and juicy, but it wasn’t.  It was tough and lacked any flavor whatsoever.  I ended up taking two bites and throwing it away.  I immediately wished I had brought my camera, because Pacific Beach Burritos would have felt a Tio’s like wrath on Epic Portions.  I swore this would be my last visit.

Recently, I decided to give the place one more shot.  I’m not sure why, but I wanted to like Pacific Beach Burritos.  The place the kind of charm that I look for in a joint and I had been waiting forever for it to open.  It couldn’t be that bad, could it?  We would find out…

This particular visit, I decided to order the San Diego Burrito, which consists of Carne Asada steak, french fries, cheese and sour cream, and three Rolled Tacos with chicken and guacamole on the side.  I asked for several cups of the hot sauce hoping they had adjusted their recipe due to massive amounts of customer complaints.

San Diego Burrito

San Diego Burrito

The burrito was a little better, but it still shared that bland taste with the other burritos I had tried.  The steak was once again juicy and tender, the fries were crunchy and made a nice addition, the cheese was a little heavy(and yellow), and the sour scream was a pretty scarce.  It was filling and tasted pretty good, but it just wasn’t what I had expected when I first saw the place.  The salsa was once again tasteless and not impressive at all.

Rolled Tacos

The rolled tacos weren’t too impressive either.  Actually, they were rather terrible.  They resembled the same microwave style taquitos that came with the enchiladas.  They were tiny and sprinkled with what looked like just  a bunch of random toppings(tomatoes, onions, ect.).  I ordered mine with chicken because I had stuck to the Carne Asada in every other item I had ordered and was horribly disappointed by it.  I guess it’s rare that you actually get chicken that’s anything special at a Mexican or Southwest joint, but this chicken just wasn’t good.  The beef made up for a lack of flavor with juiciness and the chicken completely lacked that.  It was dry and tasteless.  I will say that the guacamole was good stuff, which made the tacos edible.

Dry chicken tacos

It’s been a pretty disappointing few visits to Pacific Beach Burritos.  I had very high hopes for this local burrito joint, but every thing I’ve eaten has either been very average or fallen completely fat.  I can’t decide whether or not I will give them another chance, but the fact that they’re about to start offering delivery will probably mean I’ll give them a chance for redemption for the simple fact that it will be convenient.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re not terrible and I would recommend that you give them an opportunity.  I just wasn’t horribly impressed by them.

Ahhh, the cheese steak hoagie.   Quite possibly the perfect sandwich.  Thinly sliced steak surrounded by a long hoagie roll and covered in peppers, onions, mushrooms, and of course cheese.  It makes my eyes water just thinking about it.  Since I don’t live in Philadelphia, it always has seemed like I get short changed on these delicious sandwiches.  We don’t have a Geno’s or a Leo’s that is featured daily on some sort of television network.  We do, however, have Gabriel’s Hoagies, which for my money competes with the best cheese steak hoagies anywhere in the country.

Gabriel’s Hoagies is a little hole in the wall joint in the middle of nowhere that began serving hoagies to the residents of  Ypsilanti in 1959.  The inside is tiny with only a few tables, but expect to see 10-15 people come and go while you’re eating.  You walk up to the counter and order your food, and it is brought to you within minutes.  The service is very friendly, and your food comes very fast.  You’re not even expected to throw away your empty styrofoam plates or cups, because the staff will collect them for you.  You get a little bit of that southern hospitality hole in the wall joint feel from this place.

They’re still there, in the same location, serving up incredibly delicious eats off of one of the most basic menus you can find.  There is no real variety at Gabriel’s. You can have a cheese steak hoagie, a plain steak hoagie, a lunch meat special or a ham and cheese.  They also have a garden salad or a ham and cheese salad. You can also buy assorted bags of chips and Pepsi products. That is it.  I’m sure everything is delicious, but I’ll never personally find that out.  The only option for me is the cheese steak hoagie with peppers, onions, and extra cheese.

There’s nothing incredibly special or fancy about this sandwich, which is exactly how a cheese steak hoagie should be.    Upon ordering your hoagie, you can hear the chef in the back throw your steak on the grill and start chopping it up.  The bread comes slightly toasted and makes for a good container for the rest of the ingredients.  The cheese is melted throughout the meat, which adds a nice gooey component that holds everything together.  The thing that really makes the sandwich for me are the cherry peppers.  They are soaked in vinegar, and contain the perfect amount of sweet and spicy to balance out the sandwich.  I get them on top of my hoagie and also a bit on the side just in case they went light that particular visit.  They sell them in jars, and I’m telling you they could be eaten by themselves with a spoon right out of the jar.

If you’re a fan of cheese steak hoagies and are within driving distance, I urge you to immediately get into your car and drive to Gabriels.  It’s in the middle of nowhere and you’ll have to keep your eyes peeled, but once you find the location I promise it will not be your last visit.