Since I was in Boston and environs this last weekend, my next few posts will involve the wonders of Massachusetts dining.  Unfortunately, while walking down Newbury Street (a major Boston shopping corridor), we came across this place:

Excitement at the fat kid in the Celtics Jersey enjoying delicious cupcakes was quickly met with immediate horror and tourist shame as I was quickly informed by a local friend that this place only sells T-shirts.

In my book, you don’t joke around about cupcakes like that.  It’s just not right.  I mean, it even talks about fat and carbs and everything.  I’m officially boycotting this place.  Forever.  To regain my tourist mojo, I immediately went to Boston Common and made a proper ass out of myself:

Like most Americans, I’m fascinated with the drinking culture of Great Britain. Not only do the British drink a whole lot, but more importantly, our friends in the UK seem to really enjoy drinking as much as anybody possibly can. In fact, the British Home Office paid for research into a safer pint glass that will make drinking even more enjoyable.

Imagine this, you are someplace in London drinking one of the 126 Million pints of beer severed in throughout the UK every week. Somehow you break your glass. This could have led to tragedy as official figures record 5,500 attacks a year with beer pint glasses (Nerdy Statistical note: this leads to a 0.00008394% chance that the guy next to you is going to attack you with his pint of Boddingtons). Does that seem like a lot to you? Now, however, the governments new hybrid safety glass (coming to a pub near you) can be broken, but held together like a car windscreen with a layer of plastic.  That’s right – safety glass for beer pints.

Cheers to the Brits! Bottoms Up!

Having recently posted a few times about sandwiches, I’ve been feeling a bit reflective.  What makes a good sandwich?  Or rather, what makes the BEST sandwich?

The greatest sandwich that has ever crossed my lips is undoubtedly the roast beef sandwich from Quartermaster’s Deli in New Orleans, LA.  Hands down.  No questions.  Why no good photos?  Blame it on a broken camera.  Or…blame it on greater forces.  Forces in the universe that would prevent the revelation of such beauty to internet masses that cannot savor or smell it.  Or maybe Todd just dropped his camera the night before….

Seems fitting, though.  This sandwich (and the deli that makes it) is purely amazing.  Great people and customer service.  Wonderful bread, fantastic quality meat and side dishes – the mac and cheese is outstanding, and something else.  But mainly…it is just something I can’t quite figure out.  After three trips to this place…I may never fully understand the magic.  Maybe that’s what makes a good sandwich a good sandwich.  The mystery of it…

Seriously…best sandwich ever.  Like eating a pile of love.  Roasted love. With beef on it.

Quartermaster Deli
1100 Bourbon Street [several blocks from most of Bourbon Street's debaucherous melee]
New Orleans, LA 70116

So my grandmother just moved out of one of my favorite American cities – Baltimore!  Home of the Wire, the Orioles, the best Blue Crab in this galaxy, a fantastic NFC defense, and…apparently…one of the most interesting old-school liquor collections I’ve ever seen.  If you’ve moved as much as I have – you know that it isn’t fun at all.  Moving lots of glass is even less fun – especially when it is filled with the remains of rare and mysterious liqueurs and bitters.  So here are a few gems that we discovered.

The first of this mysterious collection came in the form of a strange apertif – “Palo Morey”?  Anyone have any ideas what this is?

Note the tools required to uncork...

My meager attempt at a web search revealed what seems to be a similar liqueur:

Palo de Mallorca –  a spirit obtained by the maceration and/or infusion of cinchona bark and gentian root (gentina lutea) with sugar, caramelized sucrose and ethyl alcohol. Its name is derived from cinchona bark (also known as palo quina), which originally came from South America and became known in Spain thanks to the Countess of Chinchón. Cinchona bark contains various different substances like quinine, which gives it a bitter, astringent taste but has antipyretic and anti-malarial properties.

It turns out that this stuff was actually still drinkable, although I’m fairly sure that determining this took several months off my life.  It is incredibly interesting to see how thick this type of liqueur becomes over time.  It’s hard to see in the photo, but this thing had LEGS – about the viscosity of a thin molasses or WD-10.

Anyway – we tossed it.  I’m really hoping that one of you dedicated readers doesn’t tell me that the bottle was worth 30 grand.  Moving on…

Next on the block was pretty much the coolest wine bottle ever, containing the most destroyed cork and oxidized wine known to man.  This was a 1965 Château Cissac, a winery in the Moulis-en-Médoc appellation (or “controlled wine area”) of the larger Bordeaux wine region of France.  Odds on this was a pretty good wine during its day.  Now…no longer so…

All those little pieces in the sink are from my repeated attempts to get the cork out without pushing it into the wine.

This wine did have what I think is on of the greatest wine labels I’ve ever seen.  Talk about classy.

Has anyone ever had to clear out old liquor cabinets?  Any interesting finds?

Those who know me know that I certainly enjoy a delicious cup of coffee every once in a while (every day, all day).  So imagine my glee when I stumbled into a coffee shop at the corner of Touro and Royal St in the Faubourg Marigny neighborhood of New Orleans (this place apparently doesn’t actually exist since it is impossible to find on Google maps/anywhere on the interwebs).  Before me stood the coolest coffee maker…ever.

Beep beep boop beep. I will make your coffee in 1.61 seconds. I will also try not to take over this coffee shop and kill all humans. Beep beep boop.

I asked the girl working at the shop where they got this thing – apparently it had been used for years as a movie prop and the owner found it, fixed it, and now uses it to make one mean cup -o- joe.

Urge to kill humans growing! GROWING!

This place also definitely had a great vibe…

mmm...coffee out of a weirdo mug!

View from 96th floor of John Hancock Building. Sears Tower is on the far right (Loop financial district) - it is the tallest actual building in North America (C.N. Tower is just a big radio tower). The dark area to the left is Lake Michigan.

There’s nothing really food related about this post, just a travel tip for all you folks that love exploring very unique bars and clubs.   I used to live outside Chicago and here’s a neat trick I learned.

If you ever find yourself visiting or hanging out in downtown Chicago – do not go to the Sears Tower.   You will wait in line with screaming children and sweaty tourists.  I mean, why hang out in the tallest building in North America when you can hang out in the 6th tallest building in North America, and gaze upon the tallest building as it shimmers across America’s greatest downtown!?  That’s right friends - head on over to the John Hancock Building at the North end of Chicago’s Magnificent Mile (Michigan Ave.).

As you head in, do not go to the observation deck – it costs money and you will remain thirsty as you gaze over the city from the top of the world.  Also, do not go to the Signature Room – this is one of the most expensive restaurants in Chicago and it is actually BELOW the Signature Lounge (95th floor, instead of the 96th!).  Instead go to the Signature Lounge for these reasons:

1. It is Free.
2. It has the most amazing views of Chicago.  Ever.
3. You will receive good service from hilarious and friendly waiters/waitresses.  I have been several times and they’ve always impressed me!
4. Drinks in downtown chicago are expensive.  It is the 3rd largest city in America, so drinks are almost as much as they are at the airport.  Alcohol is rare there.  Drinks at the Signature room are no more expensive than anywhere else in the area!  Apparently, the booze takes the elevator for free, just like you did!
5. If it is busy…wait for a table next to the windows.  Wait an hour.  Wait 2 hours if you have to.  For Goddsake, you’re waiting on top of a skyscraper.
6. Wait for a table on the south side of the building.  You’ll know you’re on the south side by the lights…since it faces THE ENTIRE CITY OF CHICAGO.
7. You can linger without problems if you nurse a bottle of wine (many are under $40) or a couple of martinis.  I recommend the Chocolate Martini – “I believe I detected a hint of Hazelnut?  Was that Frangelico?”

In summary: I don’t care how trendy you are, or what kind of DJ, or furniture, or nonsense fads you peddle in order to get customers.  If you’re a bar and you don’t happen to be damn near a quarter of a mile in the air, you probably just can’t compete with the Signature Lounge.  Period.

I recommend lingering into the evening....

This is Navy Pier at night. You can see this from the East side of the building that looks into the darkness of Lake Michigan. I recommend avoiding Navy Pier at all costs - if you do not want to stumble into the ultimate tourist trap

The Signature Lounge at the 96th
875 N. Michigan Ave.
Chicago, IL 60611
312.787.9596

http://www.signatureroom.com/Signature-Lounge/

Behold - the Crab Claw! An entire roll of paper towels will be absolutely necessary during your quest for sweet, sweet crab meat!

I went to the Crab Claw with my girlfriend and her family earlier this summer.  My first time at a crab shack.   Yes, yes – well don’t blame me – I grew up a vegetarian!

Holy smokes – a first time crab shack experience.  On camera!  It was one of those “Ah-ha” moments – like when I first tried Guacamole.  Green and gooey – almost designed to repulse children.  Then the guy made it tableside and voila – Todd was hooked.

The along came the crab.  The delicious Maryland Blue Crab’s at the Crab Claw – my thought process went something like this:

“Wow – this place is a bunch of picnic tables and bars on a dock.”

“I never knew that I could love smashing my food open in a man-fest of barbarian crustacean destruction.”

“Hmm…there sure are a lot of seagulls around here.  The temptation to misuse this crab mallot is growing…”

“Holy CRAB this is good!  HAha – get it?  ehhh….. I need another beer”

“Are you going to eat that last one?  Really?  Well…I’ll fight you for it.  I swear to God I will fight you for that Crab, sir!”

Anger growing! Growing!! GROWING!

So half the time my girlfriend’s family is looking at me like I’m crazy.

Now that I think about it, maybe I did go a bit crazy.  After all – I was covered in bits of shell, Blue crab goo (ewwww), clarified butter, and my own drool.  One roll of paper towels is never enough…

Daze of crab eating glory....

The Crab Claw
304 Mill Street at Navy Point
Saint Michaels, MD 21663
410-745-2900