So, after a lengthy time away from the site, I have returned, and so has my other blog, Tales From a Messy Kitchen. But I have come here to share the wonderful dinner I concocted last night.

My daughter wanted cheese pizza and I decided to up the ante.  Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Epic Mealtime, but I felt the need for lots of bacon on this pizza.

Here’s the end result…

It ain't pretty, but it is tasty...

I started this food creation off by cutting up and frying some bacon (roughly 7 or 8 strips) .

You have to be very brave or very stupid to fry bacon shirtless...or both.

Then I used the bacon grease to saute some sweet vidalia onions…

mmmmm....bacon onions.

By the time I got all that done, the dough had risen.  I poured the remaining bacon grease into the dough. I used Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Pizza Dough. I misunderstood the instructions and thought I had to knead this stuff in flour.  So I started to do so and it began firming up on me.  Apparently, all you have to do is spread it over a liberally floured area into a 12 inch circle…oh well.  I fought with it a bit and then decided it was supposed to be a deep dish 8-inch pizza.

I added my sauce of choice, Sweet Baby Ray’s Honey Barbecue…

Then a layer of mozzerella…

Then the orgy of bacon and onions…as well as the grease in the bowls I put them in.

Then more mozz, sharp cheddar, and parmesan…plus a slice of muenster that I ripped up.

Into the oven!

The Aftermath!  This is why my blog is so aptly named Messy Kitchen. I’m too focused to clean as I go.

I decided to accompany this meal with a Sam Adams Boston Lager.  Traditional, yet still a bit snobbish.

My girls all enjoyed this, though Audrey (the one with curls) put up a fuss until I picked the onions off of hers.

Don't be fooled by their ambivalent expressions, they loved this.

Tastes great once I throw a fit and demand that the onions be removed!

So there you have it!  I may need to go take some Zantac, but I enjoyed both making and eating this.  BTW, I have a new house.  Check out my other blog for more pics and details.  Okay enough plugging.  Mangia!

Hello Faz Pizza has a dear place in my heart because I grew up around Faz and his family.  Faz was an incredible guy but I will come back to that at a later date.   When it comes time to order pizza in Ann Arbor, 99% of the time I’m probably going to recommend that we call them up.  Yesterday was one of these times.

The reason I write this is not to tell you how much I love Hello Faz Pizza.  It’s to give you a heads up on probably the best pizza deal in the entire world.  Forget about five dollar Hot and Sweatys, Dominos’ three for five dollar special or any other pizza coupon you’ve seen.  Hello Faz Pizza took all of those deals and gave them the middle finger.

Hello Faz will give you a large pizza with unlimited toppings for just nine bucks. That means you can order a large pizza and click every single topping they offer, and you still only have to pay nine bucks for it.  That is incredible.

Shaya and I tried this out last night to mixed results.  My half contained feta, spinach, chicken, steak, bacon, and garlic. Her half contained sausage, bacon, tomatoes, and broccoli.  As you can see,  I got the better end of the deal and she wasn’t too happy about the amount of toppings on her half.  Special price to anyone who can find an actual piece of broccoli.

Regardless of the Shaya broccoli debacle, you really can’t argue with a large pizza and ten toppings(or 7 1/2) for only nine bucks.  That’s a solid deal.  When you throw in that the pizza is absolutely delicious as well, that’s.. Well, it’s just a solid deal again.

Hello Faz Pizza
2259 W Liberty St
Ann Arbor, MI 48103
(734)741-7777
http://www.hellofaz.com

From JUNK – PIZZA comes quite possibly one of the greatest pizza related creations of all time… A calzone stuffed with pizza rolls, AKA the Egg Sac. I have no words or sarcastic remarks, only that these images made me cry a little bit.  Don’t worry, they were happy tears.

They even offer you a picture tutorial on how to make your own, and why wouldn’t you?

Last night after getting back home from a long night at the Blind Pig, I decided a French Bread pizza was a requirement before going to bed.  What I didn’t do was eat it.  It sat in the oven all night on 425 degrees.  I think I am lucky to be alive right now.

I don’t like base Epic Portions off of posts from Thisiswhyyourefat.com but when I saw Pizza Hut Middle East’s new Crown Crust Pizza, I had to share it.  I knew I could find a bit information on it.  The crust has little pockets filled with meatballs and balls of Philadelphia-brand cream cheese.  Apparently the purpose of the cream cheese is to be spread all over the pizza.  That doesn’t even sound good.

Like a real G, I managed to locate a picture from a food blogger in Kuwait.  Like a real G, I said.

Can’t figure out why anyone would want to slather their pizza in cream cheese and enjoy a meatball or two to wash down all those olives.  I guess it can’t be worse than the 12 Cones Pizza, which is filled with creamed “crabsticks” , shrimps and pineapple slices.  If you’re currently in the Philippines, what are you waiting for?  Go get one!  Thanks to Genejosh, Epic Portions’ correspondent based in the Philippines, for this delicious picture.

By the way, Genejosh does not work for Epic Portions.  In fact, I doubt she even knows we exist.  I just stole that last picture from her.  Hope she doesn’t mind!

For the last few years, I have been fascinated in finding a way to construct some sort of pizza cooking “apparatus”(?) for myself to use at home.  My dream is that one day I will be able to make my own dough, sauce, cheese blend, and whatever else I feel like adding.  No more ordering Dominos, as great as their on-line ordering system may be.  I guess you could say that I long for pizza freedom.  Unfortunately, I live in the third floor of an apartment complex so not very many options are available to me that don’t involve the possibility of burning down my apartment complex.  I guess I could go the easy route and just purchase a pizza stone, but that’s just too easy.

This dream really began when I found that Dan from Thefoodinmybeard had constructed a brick pizza oven in his back yard, which just happened to be in Bermuda.  This would be ideal, but once again I live in an apartment complex, and I’m sure McKinley Management wouldn’t be too happy to find an enormous brick pizza oven constructed in the middle of their property, even if I was feeding the residents delicious DIY style pizza.  Seriously though, check this thing out.  Who wouldn’t want one of these things in their back yard?

And the result, things like curry pizza.  Amazing.  Check out the entire brick oven pizza series on Thefoodinmybeard.com Great stuff.

Realizing that building my own pizza oven would not be possible for another year or so, I decided to search for other options.  I had a gas stove, shouldn’t that count for something?  I came across a couple guys who decided to line their oven with fire bricks to simulate the brick oven.  Kind of a pain in the ass, but it sounded like a good idea.  Unfortunately my roommates declared this a horrible idea and that was the end of it.  It never happened but if I get stuck in an apartment complex for another year, my roommates might just come home to delicious brick oven style pizza.  How could they be mad?  eHow also has pretty detailed instructions on how to complete this.

The solution that probably makes the most sense to me currently is constructing a FrankenWeber, which may or may not have been first developed by street vendor in San Francisco called The Pizza Hacker.  The basic concept is to contruct the Weber charcoal grill into a mini wood burning pizza oven.  With the heat covered by the hood, it is easy for the grill to reach temparatures of up to 1000F, which is perfect for Neapolitan style pizzas.  Oh, and did I mention it’s portable?

Watch the Pizza Hacker work.  He simply has a table with jars of his sauce, buffalo mozzarella and a basil plant.  After he has constructed the pizza, it goes into the oven for only about two minutes, and then is topped with olive oil and additional cheese.  This is cool stuff:

If the video didn’t do enough for you, or you simply ignored my request, here’s a great picture of probably the best pizza will you will ever see offered by a street vendor.

After learning about the Pizza Hacker, I took my quest to Google to find out if the man was the only one doing this.  I found a few people that have been constructing their own FrankenWebers out of throwaway Weber grills and making delicious wood oven style pizza at home in minutes.  I think this is the solution for my brick/wood oven style pizza dream.

From the Pizzamaking.com forums

To summarize, I leave you with quite possibly the most delicious looking, and sounding, pizza I have ever seen/heard of in my life.  On top of this pizza is Cured Wild Boar Belly, pickled hot peppers, Calabrian chilies, Dry Farmed Early Girl Tomato Sauce, Buff Mozz, Grana Padano, Angelo Garro’s Homemade Olive Oil, parsley, and smoked salt.  Baked for only 75 seconds by the Pizza Hacker in his FrankenWeber.

On May 25th, 2009 I attempted to eat Bella Italia’s 30″ meat lovers pizza and failed miserably.  Looking back on the attempt,  we did fairly well, but our preparation was lacking.  We decided to give it a try the day of, and our stomachs weren’t even completely empty.  You may remember the end result looking something like this..

Well, I can’t let this embarrassment stand.  I need to go back and complete their current challenge of a 30″ pizza with a 30 minute time limit.  The beautiful part of this is I can bring two partners with me.  I would like to bring two Epic Portions readers with me to attempt this challenge. We will arrange a date and time when we can go in, and you will be a part of the glory, a post on Epic Portions, and a write-up on AnnArbor.com.  I will cover the entry fee, but it’s free if when we finish the pizza.

Comment here, e-mail me, talk to me in person, or however else you want to get ahold of me.  If I don’t know you, I need some proof that you’re a serious eater.  I can hold my own but I doubt I can finish the entire thing.  Get at me before Sunday and I will announce the team on Monday.