Posts tagged as:

ridiculous

I’m not usually one to complain about customer service.  I’ve worked with the general public in retail positions since I was 15 and I understand people have bad days and its not the easiest thing in the world to deal with the general idiocracy that is the majority of the population these days.  When I visit an establishment such as a restaurant, or a retail store, 90% of the time I can forgive mistakes and slip ups just because I’ve been in that position and I understand that not everyone is perfect.  I’m definitely not perfect and I’ve made mistakes on the job.  I’ve had bad days and my service has definitely suffered from it.

What I can’t take are establishments that consistently serve the public horribly and make customers expect terrible customer service from people like me who generally give a shit on a day to day basis.  I’m not sure what it is but I’ve always cared about how people view me and how I am serving them.  No matter the level of lunacy that people serve to me, I always try to serve them with as much respect and level headedness as possible.  I’m not sure if that’s in my character or if it’s just common sense that is lost on certain people, but it seems that at certain places this concept is completely lost.

I would like to introduce you to the Taco Bell located on State St. in Ann Arbor, MI.  This Taco Bell location is currently offering some of the worst customer service in the history of customer service.  I may only be passionate enough to write about this because I’ve been drinking heavily and they just failed me for the 3948739473947th time, but goddamnit I’m angry and it’s time to bust some heads Epic Portions style.

There have been many occasions that this Taco Bell has embarrassed the fast food industry.  You may be thinking about what a ridiculous statement that is, but seriously.  This place is like the class where they send kids who can’t quite cut it in the slow class.  It’s the trailer behind the school where they keep the kids who aren’t allowed to participate in standardized testing in fear that their scores alone may lead to the complete cuting of state funding for the entire school.  Their interview process must involve a game of Pictionary followed by a game of rock paper scissors, with the loser gaining full time employment and full health benefits.

If you have 30-40 minutes to kill, pull right in and place an order.  Guarantee you’ll be waiting for 50.  If you’re sick of waiting, too bad.  There are curbs on either side of you.  You’re not going anywhere.  Just in case that wait didn’t infuriate you enough, your order will be wrong and you’ll have to pull back around and wait again.  It would be convenient to simply enter the dining room, but it’s currently being renovated.  Time to either eat that fiesta salsa you didn’t want slathered all over your Grilled Stufft Burrito or scrape off the tomatoes and deal with that disgusting tomato residue.  But wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves.  I have personally been witness to this Taco Bell being out of tortillas, beef, chicken, rice and beans.  Keep in mind that all of these ingredients have been absent on separate occasions.  What are you supposed to order at Taco Bell when they are out of hard and soft tortillas?  Pintos and Cheese?  That’s an appetizer.

I often wonder who serves as manager of this Taco Bell and why he hasn’t had crosses burning in his front lawn.  I say this not because I’m a card carrying member of the KKK(i’m not), but because he deserves to have something burning on his front lawn and that was the most dramatic thing I could think of.  Who hires these people?   Who orders the supplies?   It’s not just me who has dreamt up a hatred for this specific location, it’s general knowledge that this is the worst Taco Bell on the planet.  It’s almost comedic how bad it is.

I welcome the residents of Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti to share your State St. Taco Bell stories as comments to this post.   I have heard many, and I welcome a complete bitch session about the customer service that makes this place the Holocaust of fast food establishments.

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After re-reading John’s thought provoking expose on Pringles from around the world, I decided to expand the search of quirky products in foreign markets to soda, and specifically Pepsi.

Japan – Pepsi Ice Cucumber 

 
 

Cucumber Soda. Why didn't I think of that?

Finally, the refreshing burst of cucumber flavor in a soda! Pepsi plus pickle juice, how can that be bad? At first I thought Pepsi Ice was like regular Pepsi, but with a higher alcohol content. Might almost make drinking cucumber soda palatable. Sorry to break the bad news, but this was a one shot deal available only in summer of 2007. Ebay, anyone?

Russia – Pepsi Ice Cream

 

Pepsi Ice Cream and some kind of Doritos.

You would think our Russian friends would get to have a Pepsi product that mixed well with Stolichnaya.  Think again…Pepsi Ice Cream, which sounds like bottled Pepsi Float is actually just cream soda, but with a different marketing hook.  Makes you wonder why they never tried it here?

Japan – Pepsi Shiso

Teenage Mutant Ninja Soda

Shiso is from the mint family, and has a flavor somewhat similar to basil. Basil flavored soda actually sounds intriguing, but a glance at the bottle makes it look like something bottled from the stream outside the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Why not serve up raw Blinky wrapped in seaweed to go with it?

Mmmmmmm...radioactive fish.

Europe – Pepsi Boom

Pepsi made a boom-boom.

Pepsi Boom makes you think they went all Guy Fieri on their beverage, right? Well, if going Guy Fieri means creating a product bereft of any value, than I suppose so. Pepsi Boom is Pepsi with no caffeine, no sugar, and no artificial sweetener. Than what the hell is it? Carmel color and water? I’d rather listen to Rammstein than drink Pepsi Boom.

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Burger King Ribs (?????)

by John on May 20, 2010 · 5 comments

So apparently Burger King is rolling out their ribs in major markets(Dallas, Chicago, ect..) this week and it made me realize that I haven’t called anything stupid in a while.  In fact, after running a quick search I found that it’s been since April 5th, when I called Subway’s breakfast completely stupid, that I called anything stupid.  Well folks, Burger King decided it had been too long since John got a little perturbed about a fast food menu item and decided to do this.  Great work Burger King.  Great work.

Burger King Ribs

jasonlam, flicker

BK Ribs come in packs of three, six and eight, with the six pack costing you $7.99.  If you decide that’s not enough of a bargain you can go with a combo meal, which adds on the usual fries and drink, for $8.99.

What I’m trying to figure out is why is Burger King pumping their $1 menu items and $5 meal deals and then rolling out some ribs for 8 bucks?  Also, you fast food restaurants already ruined the burger, French fries, burritos, apple pies, and countless other food items.  Can’t you leave ribs alone?  They don’t belong on fast food menus.  They belong in restaurants where there are plates and napkins.

Visit Burger King’s website to see one of the more annoying things ever advertised by a fast food company..

Four tender pork ribs with a smoky BBQ sauce. So you get all the meaty taste of BBQ ribs without the hassle, smoky clothes and runny eyes of a real BBQ.

No hassle, smoky clothes, or runny eyes of a real BBQ?  Of a REAL BBQ???? Let me get this straight.   You’re taking BBQ ribs, something that is traditionally messy(in a good way) to eat, and advertising it as a clean, anti-BBQ version? Like, “come get ribs, but they’re ribs that aren’t messy, smoky, and don’t have any flavor so your eyes won’t run”. Seriously Burger King?  I feel like punching you right now.

Last thing, Has anyone ever had broiled ribs before?  I sure haven’t.

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A while ago I had the brilliant idea of making food scented candles.  Who wouldn’t want their house smelling like bacon, lasagna, or sauteed onions and garlic at all times?  Sure, it might lead to obesity and questions about your character, but this was still an incredible idea on my part.  Unfortunately, I never got around to creating a prototype and researching a patent.

Well, it looks I was too late. White Castle has already gone and created a candle(update: apparently these sold out within 24 hours and are no longer available.  the link has been removed from the website) with “steam-grilled-on-a-bed-of-onions scent of America’s first fast-food hamburger”.  Net proceeds will benefit the Autism Speaks foundation.

Not only has White Castle completely stolen my idea, but they’ve made it beneficial for a chartable organization.  The only person that was going to benefit from my creation was me.  Damn you, White Castle.  Damn you.

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The Mc10:35 – I did it.

March 13, 2010

A few days ago, Jeremy wrote about a new McDonalds menu item that has been sweeping the nation.  This item is called the Mc10:35, and can only be ordered at 10:35 AM which is the only time you can order simultaneously off of the breakfast and regular menu.  The sandwich ...

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Uhhhhh… Pringles?

March 12, 2010

I know the Asian food market is a little differnet than ours, but seriously?  Seaweed?  Soft-shell crab?  Come on. Pretty interesting for a company that intended to sell tennis balls but got a shipment of potatoes instead.

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The Bacon Lombardi Trophy

February 19, 2010

Regardless of who won the Super Bowl and how much Peyton Manning choked after watching close to 3,000 hours of film in the two weeks leading up to it, neither team got what really mattered this Super Bowl season. The food I cooked really didn’t matter either, because I didn’t ...

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