Oh Cheesecake Factory. Why don’t you build a resturaunt that is close to me? I’ve heard you’re good, but I’ve never had a chance to verify this. For the longest time, I thought you only served Cheesecake. I now realize that you serve normal, allegedly delicious meals. Enter promotion….
Do you like Cheesecake Factory? I want to hear about it. What can I say? I’m a glutton for punishment. Comment on this post with your opinion of the restaurant, favorite dish, ect., and you will have a chance at a free dinner from good ol’ John. That’s right, all you have to do is tell me “Hey John, you’re an idiot. I love their steak. It’s made from cows. Moo”, and you’ll have a chance to win a $25 gift certificate(please be more creative than that). The winning comment will be the one that makes me even more angry that I don’t have a location close to me. Extra points will be given for those who insult me for never eating here. So basically, piss me off the most and you get a free dinner. Sound easy enough? This contest will run until Monday, the 31st, so get your comments in.
And if you’re feeling really lucky, make your way over to their website, or add them on facebook for a chance at winning the reunion of a lifetime, a free trip to Las Vegas for you and 9 of your closest friends. Just think of the trouble you can cause with that opportunity!
Article by John Moors
I was blessed with a remarkable metabolism that has allowed me to overcome obesity and eat everything in sight.
John has written 416 other articles.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
never been to the factory? are you un-american? the crab wontons are worth a try, followed by the chipolte pasta
EVERYTHING IS GOOD. Enough said. That is how sad it is that you haven’t been.
I’ll second that. Everything is great, ESPECIALLY the deserts. You’re an idiot.
4 words.
Snickers. Motherfucking. Cheesecake. Loser.
Even the salads are epic. Except when you go, you don’t order a salad.
Why?
Because it’s the effin CHEESECAKE FACTORY, jeez.
Call me boring but I just love the Original Cheesecake. Jeeze John you’ve lived you life so far without ever going to the CF does that mean I have to wait 20 some (guessing) years before I ever get your pic to draw you?
mmm… pure decadent deliciousness. I’ve been to CF mostly in Chicago, although I was to a location outside Milwaukee, too. The first time I went was with a group of about 15 women. After we gorged ourselves on entrees (and they’re perfect examples for a blog entitled Epic Portions, let me tell you), we ordered 10 different slices of cheesecake and just passed them around the table. They were fabulous – German Apple Streusel, Pineapple Upside Down, chocolate truffle, white chocolate raspberry truffle…
I’ll even split the GC with you if I win. We can hop the Mega Bus and head to Chicago to make pigs of ourselves.
CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
You skinny bastard! How can you never have worshiped at the altar of true American gluttony that is The Cheesecake Factory? When you look at the portions and the encyclopedic menu of TCF one must wonder if it is the inspiration for the Mr. Creosote scenes in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life. One more wafer thin mint you say? Try a dozen decadent cheesecakes with the best, in my opinion, being the Banana Cream and Peanut Butter Cookie Dough. Please get your mom to tell the nice man who drives your short bus to make a stop by one of these temples of decadence asap. You cannot call yourself a true food blogger until you have popped a button gorging yourself on their Orange Chicken, Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes, Fried Mac and Cheese, or the belt busting Famous Factory Meatloaf. Comfort food does not even begin to describe what you have been missing! I am getting irate and the meat sweats just thinking about the fact that you have not been to a Cheesecake Factory! Man, even their salads would make a dietician faint. For the sake of all that is holy, get your sorry ass on a plane if you have to and make a pilgrimage to a Factory. If you don’t, will someone please think of the children!!! P.S. Did I mention that they have a machine that dispenses perfectly whipped true whipped cream (not the fake crap) that is as thick as peanut butter and they cover everything in it? I may faint at the thought of it. P.P.S. Have I mentioned that I sometimes get so full here that I need a doggy bag! Look at my pic on Twitter man, I do not fill up easy or often. They mean bizness with a capital Z!
That was impressive. Whipped cream that is as thick as peanut butter? Good god man.
Well, yes, you ARE an idiot for never eating there. It is full of family good times. My cousin, 3 years old, called it the “cheese convention” restaurant. My 80 year old grandpa who has never drank, ordered a Captain Jim’s Irish coffee for his birthday because his name is Jim. He didn’t know it was alchoholic. We did. And we let him order it anyways.
I LOVE THE SWEET CORN TAMALE CAKES so very much. In fact, I travel for those things! Thank you so much for this great giveaway!
The best cheesecake is the red velvet cheesecake and the pumpkin pecan cheesecake. I want to try the tiramisu cheesecake too.
well unlike most I DO NOT think that you are a loer for not having tried ccf, but it is worth the trip for the exprience. Did you know that the originated from Michigan? I read somewhere at one point that they left michigan, not to raise their children as most website sitpulate but becausethey were not recieving proper create for the desserts that they supplied to other resturants. And that is the reason that their son has never openned a returant in michigan. At one point (2003) there was talk of building one in summerset but that fell thru when one of the investors fell thru. So here we are 69 years and 146 locations later still getting snubbed! Never-the-less there itailian creamcheese cake is TO DIE FOR! it is a must have!
Unlike some other chain restaurants, the Cheesecake Factory’s interior/exterior is very nicely designed, hip, and just plain cool. It’s an extremely popular place, and I think it’s a great place to bring a date or your girlfriend… which I have done many a time.
The food is very good, and it doesn’t taste chain-like in anyway… much better food and organization than some other independent restaurants also. In addition, there is just so much variety for anyone’s tastes. Tons of appetizers like the Thai Lettuce Wraps, which is a nicely flavored chicken with lots of little fixings of noodles, different sweet/sour souces, and veggies. My favorite entree is the “Chicken Littles” which is basically deliciously seasoned chicken fingers with a great batter, some nice corn medley, and their really rich, creamy, full-of-red-potato-chunks mashed potatoes. In reference to the variety, there is just so many different items on the menu from a grilled portabella burger to fish tacos and a mildly spicy Thai-curry-like chicken dish. Obviously Cheesecake Factory is known for their desserts, and suffice to say, they are real good. I just recently had the Lemon-Rasberry Cream Cheesecake for my birthday, and it was quite tasty… nice tang and very creamy, yet not too heavy as it omitted the grahamn cracker crust for a Rasberry-soaked lady finger.
But the best thing about The Cheesecake Factory is the enormous portions. The prices are very reasonable, and you just get an incredible amount of food. Seriously, it blows some places way out of the water with their portions. Definately possible to split it up into two meals… and this is coming, not from a skinny little girl who can’t a real dinner, but a serious eater. Plus their is a bar menu from 4-6 every weekday, which basically has all the appetizers, some sliders, etc. (regular bar food but with a lot of twists and quality) for around 3-5 dollars… which just emphasizes The Cheesecake Factory’s consumer-oriented approach. And it works.
I just went and ordered a cheesecake. It came to the table covered in whipped cream, but I asked for some cream cheese frosting on the side, too, just for propriety. It was an Oreo cheese cake and I skipped graces and just picked it up and shoved it into my face. I moved my mouth around a little bit and about ten minutes later, it was gone.
It was probably better than the best sex in the world. With Varta.
In addition to finishing it faster than you’ve ever finished an eating challenge, because you’re slow and lack cunning like myself, I also took the liberty of looking you up and finding your credit card number, so now my Cheesecake Factory meal has been billed to you.
Bravo. It’s as though…almost as though you were there yourself. But you were not. And so you couldn’t see my raping of this delicious cheesecake, and its defilement in your name. Adieu.
Damn, that last one was pretty good.
So good the cheesecakes are self-aware.
Dear God where you live must be South Dakota or Mississippi, because even down here in Alabama we have a Cheese- I’m sorry an Orgasmic-Worthy-Confectionary-and-Delectables Factory. What you are missing out on could fill books, which ironically (ironic or just sexy?), is what the menu resembles. Pages upon pages of descriptive omelets, appetizers, sandwhiches, sushi, and glorious orgasm cake. I would Surely drive to the closet CF just to have the free bread they offer. Yes, even their bread is that good. And how could I have failed to mention their delicious jamaican jerk shrimp, with black beans and rice, plantains all served together on a warm plate with a fresh mango salsa. I now truly feel for you, while you have to achieve your pleasure from another human, I can just head over there and order a Kahlua chocolate cheescake and experience the classic, “I’ll have what she’s having.” moment.
Kahlua chocolate cheesecake? Holy good god.