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Footlong Cheeseburger

by Jeremy on July 16, 2010 · 1 comment

I know that KFC got a lot of publicity for the Double Down — not the least of which was from EP — but it seems like there is a subtle, unspoken race to outdo the Colonel.  The Orange County Register, which I read religiously, has clued us in on a new contender.   Welcome the addition from Carl’s Jr.:  The Footlong Cheeseburger.

Carl's Jr. Footlong Cheeseburger

Where's the beef?

Call me crazy, but it sure just appears to be three patties (above picture is half of the footlong) poorly arranged on a sub bun.  Subway would catch hell for this lack of tessellation.  I’m sure Carl’s Sr. is rolling over in his grave, I mean it’s pretty much just an elongated triple cheeseburger.  I’m not impressed.

By the way, I’m still waiting for my lifetime supply of free Frosty’s, Wendy’s.  It’s an extremely generous offer to save your moribund eatery.  And it won’t last forever.

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KFC’s Double Down Sandwich

by John on April 13, 2010 · 3 comments

I recently decided that I was going to begin the detoxification process and give up all fast food for a month.  I’ve been suffering from a massive food hangover, which includes the famous fat man sweats, and I realized that it was time to stop treating my body like a garbage disposal.  This was going great until KFC decided it was time to launch their newest creation, the Double Down “Sandwich”, nationwide. Detox is over.  I had to have one.

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Last summer I wrote about my search for the rare phenomenon that was KFC’s Double Down Sandwich.  In case you missed it, the Double Down is two pieces of bacon and two slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese smothered with the Colonel’s Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.  No room for bread here.  Seriously, can this combination lose?

Well, a rep for KFC came across Epic Portions and our burning desire to try this sandwich and informed me that the Double Down will be available nation wide starting on April 12th.  They also sent me nutritional information but I disregarded it entirely.  If you’re interested in trying this sandwich I highly double you care that is has 1430 beautiful mg of sodium.  Whoops!


A lot of people wonder why I like food so much but still continue to frequent fast food restaurants.  People even question my taste in food because of it.  The truth is, fast food tastes good.  It’s designed and processed that way.  If you don’t like fast food, is probably because you’re smart enough to realize that the reason it tastes good is the same reason it’s terrible for you.  Then again, I know that good and well but still need to get my fix every once in a while.  There’s just a few things that I could never go without.  On that list is KFC’s Famous Bowl.

The Famous Bowl isn’t new or relevant to anything, I just love Famous Bowls.  I know, to some people, it’s the most disgusting fast food combination ever created, but to me it’s perfection.  I’m one of those people that combines their entire Thanksgiving dinner into one pile until it resembles something that they would serve in prison.  The mixture of mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, gravy,and corn makes my Thanksgiving every year.  Apparently someone at KFC used this same mixture method and decided to apply it to their menu.  Good man.

It was a basic concept to combine mashed potatoes, gravy, and chicken.  Who hasn’t mixed their chicken with their mashed potatoes before?  They took this a step further adding corn and just got absolutely ridiculous by topping the entire thing with cheese.  Whose idea was it to top this heart attack bowl with cheese?  Whoever you are, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.  You deserve a medal.

The Famous Bowl tops out with 740 calories, 31 grams of fat and 9 grams of saturated fat, 2110 mg sodium.  If you’re on a 2,000 calorie diet the bowl provides you with a third of your calories, 47% of your fat and 45% of your saturated fats, and 87% of your sodium.  That’s not irresponsible, that’s a bargain.

So to the people who think it’s ridiculous that I like Famous Bowls while giving my opinion on more “respectable” cuisine, I completely agree with you.  There’s just something about this mess of slop that I have to have.

On a completely random note, skip to the .52 second mark on this video for more on prison slop.  Or just watch the whole thing for comedic greatness.


I Love You KFC

August 24, 2009

I have no reason for posting this other than I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, and this picture really makes me want to eat my monitor.  KFC hot wings and mashed taters.  Oh heavenly Jesus Marian Joseph.  Meeeeeeemories.

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KFC Double Down Sandwich

August 21, 2009

It’s been a while since I visited, primarily because I’ve been attempting to shed a few pounds.  It’s not good for me to be gazing upon the food I would like to be eating while eating a Healthy Choice dinner.  Blegh.  I feel like I’m in food prison.   […]

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