I know that KFC got a lot of publicity for the Double Down — not the least ofwhich was from EP — but it seems like there is a subtle, unspoken race to outdo the Colonel. The Orange County Register, which I read religiously, has clued us in on a new contender. Welcome the addition from Carl’s Jr.: The Footlong Cheeseburger.
Carl's Jr. Footlong CheeseburgerWhere's the beef?
Call me crazy, but it sure just appears to be three patties (above picture is half of the footlong) poorly arranged on a sub bun. Subway would catch hell for this lack of tessellation. I’m sure Carl’s Sr. is rolling over in his grave, I mean it’s pretty much just an elongated triple cheeseburger. I’m not impressed.
By the way, I’m still waiting for my lifetime supply of free Frosty’s, Wendy’s. It’s an extremely generous offer to save your moribund eatery. And it won’t last forever.
It’s difficult to know what to expect when macro-brewers endeavor to create a craft beer. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t. As for the effort, I like to think that even though the idea sprang from a whorish money grabbing attempt by the marketing department, those who actually get to brew the beer relish the opportunity to construct a legitimate, quality beverage.
Hop Hound Amber Wheat, from our old pals at Anheuser Busch/InBev, fills the entire spectrum of poor marketing and decent craftsmanship. Has anyone seen an ad for Hop Hound? If you have, please clue me in. And why not blitz the airwaves with advertising for Hop Hound, I mean, there’s a freaking dog on the label! The possibilities are endless. Never mind that the dog on Hop Hound looks like Poochie, the cartoon dog from The Simpsons that was used to make Itchy and Scratchy seem new and fresh, it’s still a dog!
I have to go now. My planet needs me…to sell beer!
The Hop Hound dog may not be totally in my face, but he’s got a modicum of attitude and style. Besides, before he was jailed for statutory rape, sent to rehab and found Jesus, Spuds McKenzie proved that even a crack-addled canine can sell beer.
A sweatshirt? Really, Spuds? I know it was the 80's but come on…
As for the beer, Hop Hound isn’t bad at all. Certainly not the disgrace that is Bud Light Golden Wheat. Hop Hound, for starters, tastes like beer. It has a decent amount of complexity to it. Sort of a light, malty, wheat flavor with citrus undertones. Not bad for a hot July 4th barbeque, certainly better than Bud Light, my other option. I do wonder why a beer that has relatively little hoppiness (is that a word?) calls itself Hop Hound. Maybe to a dog it is hoppy, but I digress. The fact that it falls short of Costco’s Kirkland Signature Amber Ale is perhaps a question of taste. I have no doubt that there will be those who really like Hop Hound, and kudos to them. Personally, I don’t see myself buying it again but who knows, like I said it had some things going for it. I just can’t help but feel that it lacked soul. Maybe it was the dog. Maybe there is a degree of prejudice because this is the same conglomeration that created Bud Light Golden Wheat.
I will say that I am now interested to try Michelob’s Shock Top, their take on a Belgian white. Hop Hound is good enough to give me a little hope. If I do try it, you will be the first to know. Not literally. The person who sells me the beer will know, and so will my wife, and maybe a friend or two. But rest assured dear readers, you will be no more than fifth or sixth on the list…
On a side note, how come there are never any cats on beer bottles? And I don’t mean tigers or lions or leopards or ocelots or any other near relation. I mean a domestic house cat. As the owner of two cats, I can assure you that they can party with the best of them. I’m throwing down the gauntlet, beer makers, I want a cat on my beer bottle by the end of the year. I can see it now, Founders Ferocious Feline IPA. Make it happen.
It is to the credit of our readership, which I have long trumpeted as the most intelligent on the internet, that so many of you did not and do not closely follow the LeBron James saga. Why follow the egomaniacal exploits of a man whose job it is to throw a ball through a hoop? I imagine that the lives of those who choose not to immerse themselves in the minutiae of sport are quite often richer than those who get caught up in details of free agency.
I write this because a few of you have wondered to me via e-mail or other media if I really was planning on leaving EP. That is not the case, but rest assured I really appreciate the concern. I feigned free agency as a nod to our Cleveland readers, a vocal and devoted group. I’m sure the spoof was not lost on the vast majority of you.
On a side note, Cleveland is an amazing food town. Seriously. Michael Symon has a fantastic restaurant there. Cleveland boasts an all-grilled cheese cornucopia called Melt. And Cleveland is also the home of Great Lakes Brewery, something any city would be proud of. So stay strong Cleveland, even though many of you are Ohio State fans, a little Great Lakes love from Ann Arbor to you.
As penance for this ridiculous ruse, I offer the following: Six posts in seven nights (can’t do seven, my son has soccer camp and yes, I’m well aware of how that is a cliché but I still have to go and be a good father. Besides, it’s my fault for immersing him in the World Cup.) I will begin tomorrow evening with the long awaited Hop Hound review.
There was one obvious clue that I was never going to leave. In my original post, I stated that I was intrigued by the idea of “writing with other all-stars.” I already write with an all-star (John) on EP.
