Author: John

  • Competitive Eating Training Update

    I began to research for my quest to become competitive eating champion of the world and found some interesting information.

    I found myself on a gastric bypass forum where a young lady was requesting information on stretching her stomach a little bit after having the surgery. Readers suggested she began drinking large amounts of water in short amounts of time. I thought this would be a good place to start.

    I attempted to chug a gallon of water in less than two minutes. I video taped the event but failed miserably so I am hesitant to post it on this blog. Honestly, I am embarrassed. I understand that this will be a slow process, but I have high expectations. Maybe when I am able to complete this task I will post the trials.

    Until the, let training continue!

  • Campbell’s Needs My Help

    It’s a tough world out there these days with our recent economic problems and even producers of soup are feeling the heat.  Campbell’s Soup Company recently decided to begin a campaign asking people for help.  Don’t take it from me, the CEO posted a letter on-line:

    “Dear Friend of Campbell,

    Campbell Soup Company has a passion for innovation. We continually seek to improve the quality, convenience, and value of our products. We are always interested in ideas for new products, packaging, marketing, and production technologies that will help us meet the needs of our consumers and customers better, faster and more completely.

    At Campbell, we recognize that valuable ideas for innovation may come to us from many sources, both inside and outside the Company. Consumers, customers, suppliers, contractors, inventors and friends often have suggestions that they would like to share with us, and we welcome their interest in doing so.

    We have created this Web site to provide a convenient method for people who are not employed by Campbell to submit ideas for innovation to us. If you have an idea that you think may interest us, we hope you will submit it for our consideration.

    Thank you for your interest – we look forward to hearing from you!

    Douglas R. Conant
    President and CEO”

    As a friend of Campbell’s Soup and someone who eats their soup all the time, I felt inclined to offer my assistance.  What am I supposed to eat if Campbell’s goes under?  Progresso?  You’ve got to be shitting me.   I went further and checked into Campbell’s current stock info.  While not terrible, it’s still not looking good.  Plus, it appears Progresso isn’t a publically traded company so I can get any information on them.  I’m in the dark here.

    Campbells Current Stock Information
    Campbell's Current Stock Information

    Campbell’s cry for help was enough for me.  I decided to submit the one idea that would keep Campbell’s soup afloat for good.  The one idea that will keep me eating Campbell’s and my future children eating Campbell’s.  Ladies and Gentlemen, here is my submission.

    “Dear Friend,

    I understand that times are tough right now.  Just last week I was forced to eat cereal rather than my usual eggs and bacon.  It was an unfortunate experience but it opened my eyes.

    This the part where I give to you the idea that will save Campbell’s Co.

    “Biscuits & Gravy Soup”.

    Yes, I agree that it is surprising that no one had thought of this before, but that’s not the issue here.  The issue is that you now have the product that will bring Campbell’s out of the red and into the green.  The best part?  All you have to do is mix fat with flour, and add pieces of biscuits.  Plus, it can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I would say it’s genius, but you and I already know this.

    I require no charge for this submission.  I will simply take pride in the fact that I contributed to me not having to eat Progresso soup.

    God Bless You,

    John Moors
    Eater of Soup”

    If you would like to offer an idea, you can visit http://www.campbellsoupcompany.com/ideas/.  I wouldn’t really bother because they will more than likely shut the site down after my idea is read, but you can humor yourself and submit something.

  • What John Wants To Eat Today

    In spirit of my decision to undertake competitive eating, I figured the best place to start is none other than…

    Golden Corral.

    What, specifically, do I want to eat at Golden Corral?  And why do I want to eat there?

    Well, everything and because there’s nice people there, that’s why.