Author: John

  • Blame it on the Hennessy

    For those of you who watched the VMAs last night, I apologize.  You did, however, get to see Kanye snatch the microphone away from Taylor Swift, whos identity had eluded me up until that point point, during her acceptance speech to proclaim Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” as one of the greatest videos of all time.  Many people were confused as to why Mr. West decided to do this for a category he wasn’t even nominated in.

    Well, you might just have to chalk it up as Mr. Hennessy’s fault.

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    And for those of you wondering why this is on Epic Portions, notice that there is a category for Beer/Drinks.  Also notice the Hennessy.  Cease wondering.

  • McDonalds Keeps it Gangster

    mcdonalds_ghetto_car

    Apparently you can get glocks and weed at McDonalds now.  I’m not lovin’ that.  Glocks and marijuana destroy communities!  You read…

    CHARLESTON, SC (WCSC) – A Charleston teen picked up his food from a McDonald’s drive-through, but he got something else with his meal — a loaded gun and bags of marijuana.

    It happened on August 29 at the McDonald’s on Savannah Highway. According to a police report, an 18-year-old and his cousin went to the drive-through to get some food. The employee at the window asked ‘who gets the bags.’ The young man said ‘it doesn’t matter,’ not realizing what he would find inside.

    Police say he got an extra bag with a loaded .45-caliber or nine-millimeter handgun and what appeared to be bags of marijuana.

    “It was the gun and the marijuana that was inside of a brown bag sitting inside of a McDonald’s bag,” said Kathy Rivera, whose son found the gun in his bag. “They noticed they had three bags. There were only two people in the car, so when he opened it he noticed it.”

    Police say the gun and the bags of marijuana apparently were meant for the car behind the 18-year-old’s vehicle in the drive-through. Those people followed the young man all the way to a gas station on Sam Rittenberg Boulevard. One of them jumped out of the car and demanded that he give them the bags, which he did.

    This could have led to some serious violence.  I know if someone tried to stick me up for my food they would be taking a dirt nap.  Fo real.  Fo real.

    And read on…

  • My Life Would Suck Without Hot Dogs

    Kelly Clarkson likes weiners.kellyclarkson

    For some reason I was reading TMZ and found this.  Thanks TMZ!