Category: Fat Foods

  • FULL English Breakfast. Let the bodies hit the floor…

    …haven’t heard that song in forever, have you?  Neither had I.  However, while rapidly consuming my first FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST this last weekend in the quaint English Countryside, Drowning Pool’s turn-of-the-millennium one hit wonder crept into the outskirts of my mindbrain.  Why you ask?

    Beaten why for (why for)
    Can’t take much more
    Here we go!

    Not enough meat.
    In retrospect: not enough carbs.  Needs less black pudding and more mushrooms and tomatoes.  Never thought I’d say that.


    Let the bodies hit the flooooor;
    Now!;
    Push me again;
    This is the end;

    Three hours later.   Sun shining.  Children playing.  Birds Tweeting.

    …Stomach rumbling.

    One – Something’s got to give;
    Two – Something’s got to give;
    Three – Something’s got to give;
    Now;
    Let the bodies hit the floor!

    Ugh.  Gastrointestinal signals have told me to lay off black pudding for the next year or 6.  I mean, heavens, think of the children!

  • Lockhart’s BBQ – Quadruple Bypass

    You may safely add Lockhart’s BBQ in Royal Oak to the list of places that Epic Portions’ fearless staff will be visiting in the next 30 days.  I will personally be devouring the Quadruple Bypass, a 1-pound combo of pulled pork, smoked bacon, smoked sausage, smoked ham and smoked cheddar.  If that wasn’t enough for you it comes with a foil-wrapped Ding Dong on top.  I’ll type that again.  It comes with a foil-wrapped Ding Dong on top.  A DING DONG.  WRAPPED IN FOIL.  ON TOP.  ON TOP OF THE SANDWICH THERE IS A DING DONG.  WRAPPED IN FOIL.

    Holy Santa Claus shit.  If this sandwich doesn’t look good to you then you’re a ding dong.  Wrapped in foil.  HAHA!

    Quadruple Bypass at Lockhart's BBQ

    Thank you to the homie John Clark for mentioning this beauty to me.  No thanks to Craig Indyke for being weird.

    That is all.  This blog is getting seriously unprofessional.

  • Lasagna

    Epic Meal Time again.  So, I have to say that I love the moment when the girl greets him in French and he just yells at her “15 TEEN BURGERS!”  Tip of the hat from the Anglo-phonic world, sir.