Category: Randoms

  • Hello and Goodbye To All That

    Greetings, fellow food lovers! My name is Jeremy and I am honored and humbled to be joining the Epic Portions team. I have known John for several years; we used to work together and share/critique many a meal. (On a side note, if you ever need a projector malfunction fixed, John is your man.) I am a father of two (six year old and one year old) and currently a stay at home Dad, thanks to my lovely and talented wife who wishes she could wax poetic about food in her spare time. My duties include acting as primary cook for the family, and yes, that means many adventures in food. I will do my best to live up to the high standard set by John and Todd.

    Now, on to the good stuff.

    Now that I’m no longer working for the man, I have found that fast food has quickly disappeared from my diet. No more trips out of necessity for a quick meal, it’s just me and my daughter at home for lunch most days, and the opportunity to cook dinner for my family (almost) every night. It has been wonderful, lots of work and lots of dishes to clean but a quality meal is worth the cleanup. Being rid of the oppressive grip of fast food has been liberating to say the least. No more painful indigestion, no more annoyance with someone messing up my order, no more feeling guilty after the meal. I won’t say I’m forever through with fast food, but it had dwindled to a very rare event.

    There is one chance that it could change. If a Chick-fil-a opens somewhere in Metro Detroit, I will be there faster than you can say buck-buck-buguckk!! Chick-fil-a is primarily a southern phenomenon, although it has reached its beak as far north as Indiana. It is a quirky operation, the owner is a devout Christian who has this odd habit of actually following the no work on Sundays commandment. In effect, all Chick-fil-a restaurants, be they franchise or corporate, are required to be closed on Sundays. Below is a photo of the founder:

    I grew up in Atlanta and St. Louis, so this prodigious producer of prominent poultry won my heart at an early age. Since my life brought me to Michigan I have been denied this culinary delight. I’ve tried to fill the void. Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich? Please, you just lied to me three times. McDonald’s tried to bastardize a version (most likely by sending an intern to Chick-fil-a and reverse engineering) called the Southern Chicken Sandwich. This is a vile piece of food that made me weep real tears (that smelled of pickle juice or whatever the hell they used).

    A couple years ago my previous job led me to Lafayette, Indiana for a day of coma inducing meetings. Imagine my surprise as I drove to the meetings when I saw… a Chick-fil-a!  My drive back to Ypsi was a true Epic Portions moment. I stocked up on more food than a Glenn Beck listener waiting for the apocalypse. Two Chick-fil-a sandwiches, 20 of their oh-so-delicious nuggets, and a trough of their waffle fries. That’s right, I said waffle fries. Plus they had Diet Dr. Pepper!!! I was in hypertension heaven.

    If all you know of Chick-fil-a is the idiotic “Eat Mor Chikin” cows they use to peddle their food, please do not judge. Yes, the ad campaign sucks. Aside from being insulting to cows (unless George Orwell lied to me cows can not only spell, they can also be enslaved by totalitarian regimes) it is a far cry from the greatest fast food marketing campaign in history:

    As the nearest Chick-fil-a is about three hours away, I now feel honor bound to take a road trip and see if it still holds the power it once did. My gluttonous Indiana trip aside (road trips make most food taste better) I hope I find it to be less enthralling than I once did. It is amazing how when you have children you actually begin to care about what you put into your body. Odd thing, to be setting an example for impressionable young minds by merely shoveling food down your gullet. I’m not that keen on poisoning my kids with fast food, so the sooner I let it go the better. Besides, where is the adventure in a uniform, below average, saturated fat laden meal? Goodbye to all that, I’ll save my dining out dollars for places that earn and deserve them. .

  • The Birth of Rachel Ray

    So apparently this guy/insane artist not fit for society named Alex Gardega decided he was going to paint a nude portrait of Rachel Ray, sell it on eBay, and retire on the money he collects for it.  That time is now.  Currently if you bid $108, this masterpiece can be hanging above your dining room table.  Not quite the price he was looking for, I’m sure, but still a nice chunk of change.  If I didn’t spend all my money on Christmas presents already, this would surely be mine.

    Ladies and Gentleman, I give to you…

    The Birth of Rachel Ray.

    evoo

  • Coming Soon to a Taco Bell Near You….

    I have to admit, I’ve driven by Taco Bell multiple times and wished I could pick up a breakfast burrito.  There’s only so many Egg McMuffins you can have before you need a break, and Burger King breakfast will leave you with a grease hangover through lunch.  Why hasn’t Taco Bell ever taken advantage of people like me who crave their food at 8am?   Apparently, they plan to.

    The idea of bringing breakfast to Taco Bell has been going on for a while, but this is the first time I’ve come across photographic evidence.   They tried it out way back in 1992 at only one location, and the decision to test out a breakfast menu again began in 2006.   The breakfast menu has just recently been expanded to restaurants outside of the test market in Orange County.  375 stores are now equipped to carry it, and a marketing campaign is expected to begin in January 2010.  From what I hear, breakfast will be available in Taco Bells nation wide by 2012.  The new a.m. menu will feature Jimmy Dean sausage, Seattle’s Best coffee, Dole produce and Cinnabon alongside its chalupas, gorditas and double-decker tacos.

    The thought of a grilled stuft burrito for breakfast literally has me wanting to take a roadtrip to one of the test markets.  Sausage and bacon grilled stuft burrito?  I want you.  I need you.  Oh baby.  Oh baby.  On the other hand, the “French Toast Deluxe” looks absolutely disgusting.  That’s exacty what I want 4 hours after eating breakfast.  Syrup fingers.

    bellbreakfast4

    bellbreakfast1
    French Toast Deluxe
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    The Morning Wrap