Category: Randoms

  • Campbell’s Needs My Help

    It’s a tough world out there these days with our recent economic problems and even producers of soup are feeling the heat.  Campbell’s Soup Company recently decided to begin a campaign asking people for help.  Don’t take it from me, the CEO posted a letter on-line:

    “Dear Friend of Campbell,

    Campbell Soup Company has a passion for innovation. We continually seek to improve the quality, convenience, and value of our products. We are always interested in ideas for new products, packaging, marketing, and production technologies that will help us meet the needs of our consumers and customers better, faster and more completely.

    At Campbell, we recognize that valuable ideas for innovation may come to us from many sources, both inside and outside the Company. Consumers, customers, suppliers, contractors, inventors and friends often have suggestions that they would like to share with us, and we welcome their interest in doing so.

    We have created this Web site to provide a convenient method for people who are not employed by Campbell to submit ideas for innovation to us. If you have an idea that you think may interest us, we hope you will submit it for our consideration.

    Thank you for your interest – we look forward to hearing from you!

    Douglas R. Conant
    President and CEO”

    As a friend of Campbell’s Soup and someone who eats their soup all the time, I felt inclined to offer my assistance.  What am I supposed to eat if Campbell’s goes under?  Progresso?  You’ve got to be shitting me.   I went further and checked into Campbell’s current stock info.  While not terrible, it’s still not looking good.  Plus, it appears Progresso isn’t a publically traded company so I can get any information on them.  I’m in the dark here.

    Campbells Current Stock Information
    Campbell's Current Stock Information

    Campbell’s cry for help was enough for me.  I decided to submit the one idea that would keep Campbell’s soup afloat for good.  The one idea that will keep me eating Campbell’s and my future children eating Campbell’s.  Ladies and Gentlemen, here is my submission.

    “Dear Friend,

    I understand that times are tough right now.  Just last week I was forced to eat cereal rather than my usual eggs and bacon.  It was an unfortunate experience but it opened my eyes.

    This the part where I give to you the idea that will save Campbell’s Co.

    “Biscuits & Gravy Soup”.

    Yes, I agree that it is surprising that no one had thought of this before, but that’s not the issue here.  The issue is that you now have the product that will bring Campbell’s out of the red and into the green.  The best part?  All you have to do is mix fat with flour, and add pieces of biscuits.  Plus, it can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I would say it’s genius, but you and I already know this.

    I require no charge for this submission.  I will simply take pride in the fact that I contributed to me not having to eat Progresso soup.

    God Bless You,

    John Moors
    Eater of Soup”

    If you would like to offer an idea, you can visit http://www.campbellsoupcompany.com/ideas/.  I wouldn’t really bother because they will more than likely shut the site down after my idea is read, but you can humor yourself and submit something.

  • Coming Soon – Big Mac Snack Wrap

    For some reason, McDonald’s continues to serve snack wraps. I got the courage to order one a while ago and it was literally one of the most disgusting things I have ever eaten.  It’s basically a small chicken tender, shredded lettuce, a TINY sprinkle of cheese and some dressing.

    I guess the new idea is to shrink their Big Mac into one of these wraps and hope people are sick of the sandwich that made them famous. The Snack Wrap Mac features the fixings of a Big Mac–a sliced burger patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle and onions–but no sesame seed bun. It’s packaged in a warm flour tortilla. It was launched at all 1,400 McDonald’s outlets in Canada this week selling for $1.49, and will be on the menu there through May 18.

    This is really stupid.

    I managed to find some Canadians who stopped in to try one posted their findings on the web.  Behold, the Snack Wrap Mac:

    Update: They took the picture down.  Crap.

    Sick.

  • Follow Up: Vince

    Not exactly food related, but I did a post on Vince, the ShamWow and Slap Chop guy a few weeks ago and felt that I should update you on what he’s up to these days — punching prostitutes.

    ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi (i had his last name wrong, oops) was arrested last month on felony battery charges for allegedly punching a stripper, according to the Web site TheSmokingGun.com.

    Police reports obtained by the site claim that Shlomi met 26-year-old prostitute Lenea Harris at a Miami nightclub, and subsequently brought her back to his room at Setai Hotel. Shlomi allegedly paid Harris $1,000 for “straight sex.”

    That’s went things took a turn.

    Shlomi told police “that he kissed [Harris] when all of a sudden [Harris] bit his tongue and would not let go,” according to the report.

    Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue, and then ran to the lobby to call police. Harris suffered several cuts and fractures to her face.