Epic Portions

Category: Randoms

  • Orbitz – Bidding War II

    Being a little bitter about my loss on the Crystal Pepsi bidding war, I decided to try to obtain bottle of Orbitz.  Orbitz was around about 10 years ago, and was popular because of the little balls that floated inside of the liquid.  I currently have a $6.00 bid out.  This isn’t close to my heart like Crystal Pepsi, but it will hold me over until a bottle can be mine.

    Does anyone remember this stuff?  How aggressive should I be?  Remember, I am a non-profit blogger, and am currently living in poverty.

    Oh, and the bottle is 10 years old.

    Follow the action at
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330311770981

    Update:  (3/6/09 – 8:09 AM)

    I think I am going to use a little bit of strategy on this one.  This morning I was outbid by $.50 by someone who doesn’t have people counting on him to win the auction, and probably doesn’t even know what Orbitz is.  Instead of starting a war, I am going to use a sneak attack.  I will begin my aggressive bidding with a few hours remaining in the auction, and the Orbitz will be mine.

    Can’t win with ’em.  Won’t win with ’em.

    Update (3/9/09 – 12:55 PM)

    So I moved in for the kill and blew away the competition with a $10.00 bid.  This bottle will be mine in ten hours, and man am I excited.

  • Blast From the Past : Crystal Pepsi

    “You’ve Never Seen a Taste Like This™ — Right now, there’s a new taste loose on the planet…A completely different kind of soft drink with a unique cola flavor. Absolutely clear, wonderfully refreshing, it’s everything you want…and nothing you’d expect. What you get is purely the best – all natural flavors, no preservatives, no caffeine and no artificial colors.”


    Remember Crystal Pepsi?  I think I was about 6 or 7 years old when it came out, and I remember it being delicious.  For some reason, the general public hated it.

    Where am I going with this?  Well.. This morning I found an unopened bottle of Crystal Pepsi on eBay, which caused me to empty the MoorsFood inc. budget (got people to pay for it) and place a bid for $30.00 dollars.  If all goes well, in 24 hours I will be the proud owner of a 16 oz bottle of Crystal Pepsi, which will immediately be chilled and consumed by yours truly.

    Want to monitor the action and root for your favorite food blogger in the whole wide world?  Click the link below… And I swear if anyone outbids me I will blog about broccoli and asparagus for the next week.

    Fight to the Death – The Battle for Crystal Pepsi

    Update – 3:31 PM

    Some A-hole apparently placed an auto-bid on this auction.  I got up to $40 but I’m a non-profit blogger, so I had to quit.  I am now debating whether or not I should put a guaranteed bid on a bottle of Diet Crystal Pepsi.  I will be mulling this over for a little while if I can’t find a bottle of the regular stuff.  Here’s the link:

    Diet Crystal Pepsi – Not the Real Stuff, but it’s Crystal Pepsi, Damnit.

    Update – 3:50 PM

    Fail.  I decided that I am not spending $25 bucks on Diet.  I want the real thing.  This will not end.  You will see me drink Crystal Pepsi by the end of the month.  I guarentee it.

  • Tribute to the Spork

    I often wonder why the spork isn’t a more utilized tool of eating.  This hybrid utensil acts as a fork and a spoon, allowing you to not only stab and pick up your food, but shovel it as well.  Last time I checked, the spork really wasn’t getting the respect it deserves.  Because of this, I decided to pay a tribute to this seldom used utensil.  Whether used as a marvelous eating utensil, a cult worship figure, or even decoration, the spork has brought joy to countless lives.

    History of the Spork

    • Sporks have been manufactured since the late 1800s.  The word spork origiseveral years later.nated in the early 1900s to describe hybrid devices that were being developed to act as both a spoon and a fork.
    • The first known spork was patented by George Laramy of Enfield, New Hampshire in 1907.  He was a pioneer, and is now know as the pioneer and founder of the spork.
    • According to a 1952 New York Times article, Hyde w. Ballard of Westtown Pennsylvania filed an application to register “Spork” as a trademark for a combination spoon and fork made of stainless steel.  There is no record of this patent, however.
    • The Van Brode Miling Company registered “Spork” for a combination plastic spoon, fork, and knife but abandoned the registration

    Where you Can Still Find Sporks

    • Various blessed school cafeterias
    • Taco Bell
    • Rally’s
    • Kentucky Fried Chicken
    • Popeye’s Fried Chicken
    • Your Local 7-11 retail market
    • QuickTrip Convenience Stores
    • Chick-Filet’s
    • Many Pre-Packaged Meals
    • Hardee’s
    • Lee’s Famous Recipie Chicken
    • Kenny Rodgers Roasters
    • Boston Market

    Anatomy of the Spork

    • Cranial Fossa – Large depression which spans the cranium.   In native habitats, this area is used to hold food for transportation
    • Rostral Processes – These projections extend from the cranium and act functionally as teeth, used to impale foods.
    • Canines – Sharp, cranial projections also known as tines which are used to impale foods.
    • Cranial Ridge – Ridge that makes up the lateral margins of the cranium
    • Neck – The tapering, most anterior portion of the trunk.
    • Dorsal Carina – Ridge that extends dorsally along the entire surface of the trunk.
    • Platysmal surfaces – Flat surfaces on either side of the dorsal carina.
    • Cercus – The posterior tip of the trunk.

    How You Can Help Bring Sporks Back

    Wear a spork shirt – http://www.zazzle.com/the_spork_shirt-235785667947487571

    Stock your home with titanium sporks – http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/8ace/

    Spork bumper stickers – http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/spork