As I clearly stated in post number one of this multiple part saga of my trip to North Carolina to visit my heterosexual life mate, Todd, we engage in many acts of tomfoolery that usually is inspired by large amounts of alcohol. One particular night in Chapel Hill, we walked many miles to one of the creepiest dance clubs I have ever been witness too. I’m not exaggerating when I say that. While standing at the bar enjoying one of the worst drinks ever poured by a bartender and breathing in the fresh stench of what smelled like cottage cheese, I was asked by a girl who was with another guy if I wanted to dance. This was my que to leave.
After our exit, we ended up at a small bar where I enjoyed a delicious Tanqueray and tonic and talked to the bar tender, who was a serious New Yorker, until about 3:30am. After listening to many stories about his former life as a bookie, his Jewish girlfriend of 9 years and his $900,000 condo that was paid for by his Jewish girlfriend’s parents, we took the party to the streets. A mile and several road cones later, we ended up at Time-Out. If the place sounds familiar to you, it’s because Adam Richman stopped in to visit before completely destroying his show by going to Tios.
Time-Out is the epitome of drunk food. The whole point of the place is to ingest enough grease to soak up whatever you drank that night. Apparently there is a cop stationed at the place at all times to deal with the drunks. I’m surprised this place doesn’t just open up at 11:00 PM and close around 5:00 AM. There’s absolutely no reason to eat at this place any other time. Don’t get me wrong, it might have just been the many drinks that I consumed that night that led me to believe that I wouldn’t be caught dead in this place before 2 AM, but I just can’t imagine myself craving the kind of food the serve during the day.
To make matters worse, the place is named after one of the worst moments in University of Michigan sports history. If you’re not familiar with this moment, it’s when Chris Webber decided to call time out in the NCAA Championship game and allowed North Carolina and Eric Montross’ dumbass to win the national championship game. There’s pictures on the wall of UNC alumni, including Tyler Hansbrough’s dumbass, who I’m convinced is Eric Montross’ dumbass son, flashing the time out sign.
Seriously, what was I doing at this place? Oh wait, I have pictures to remind me.
In all seriousness, the place is actually a pretty cool little southern style cafeteria right in the middle of a college town. Bars surround it, so college kids flock here at all hours of the night looking for one thing. Chicken biscuits. Apparently they serve other things, but I was only interested in the chicken biscuits. No mac and cheese here, sir, I’m here to get down to business. Chicken biscuit business.
In case you can’t tell, chicken biscuits are a biscuit with fried chicken. Hence the name. I opted to add cheese to mine to make the experience complete. The biscuits are buttery and the chicken is surprisingly tender, making this little sandwich into some of the best drunk food I’ve ever had. To go with the sandwich, there is entertainment offered to you in the form of drunks stumbling around and occasionally spilling their entire tray. That’s the kind of entertainment you just can’t buy.
Stay tuned for part three of my trip to the south. I would give you a preview but I really don’t have anything planned yet.
