Epic Portions

Category: Travels

  • Cleaning out Grandma’s Liquor Cabinet

    So my grandmother just moved out of one of my favorite American cities – Baltimore!  Home of the Wire, the Orioles, the best Blue Crab in this galaxy, a fantastic NFC defense, and…apparently…one of the most interesting old-school liquor collections I’ve ever seen.  If you’ve moved as much as I have – you know that it isn’t fun at all.  Moving lots of glass is even less fun – especially when it is filled with the remains of rare and mysterious liqueurs and bitters.  So here are a few gems that we discovered.

    The first of this mysterious collection came in the form of a strange apertif – “Palo Morey”?  Anyone have any ideas what this is?

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    Note the tools required to uncork…

    My meager attempt at a web search revealed what seems to be a similar liqueur:

    Palo de Mallorca –  a spirit obtained by the maceration and/or infusion of cinchona bark and gentian root (gentina lutea) with sugar, caramelized sucrose and ethyl alcohol. Its name is derived from cinchona bark (also known as palo quina), which originally came from South America and became known in Spain thanks to the Countess of Chinchón. Cinchona bark contains various different substances like quinine, which gives it a bitter, astringent taste but has antipyretic and anti-malarial properties.

    It turns out that this stuff was actually still drinkable, although I’m fairly sure that determining this took several months off my life.  It is incredibly interesting to see how thick this type of liqueur becomes over time.  It’s hard to see in the photo, but this thing had LEGS – about the viscosity of a thin molasses or WD-10.

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    Anyway – we tossed it.  I’m really hoping that one of you dedicated readers doesn’t tell me that the bottle was worth 30 grand.  Moving on…

    Next on the block was pretty much the coolest wine bottle ever, containing the most destroyed cork and oxidized wine known to man.  This was a 1965 Château Cissac, a winery in the Moulis-en-Médoc appellation (or “controlled wine area”) of the larger Bordeaux wine region of France.  Odds on this was a pretty good wine during its day.  Now…no longer so…


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    All those little pieces in the sink are from my repeated attempts to get the cork out without pushing it into the wine.

    This wine did have what I think is on of the greatest wine labels I’ve ever seen.  Talk about classy.

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    Has anyone ever had to clear out old liquor cabinets?  Any interesting finds?

  • I want this coffee maker

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    Those who know me know that I certainly enjoy a delicious cup of coffee every once in a while (every day, all day).  So imagine my glee when I stumbled into a coffee shop at the corner of Touro and Royal St in the Faubourg Marigny neighborhood of New Orleans (this place apparently doesn’t actually exist since it is impossible to find on Google maps/anywhere on the interwebs).  Before me stood the coolest coffee maker…ever.

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    Beep beep boop beep. I will make your coffee in 1.61 seconds. I will also try not to take over this coffee shop and kill all humans. Beep beep boop.

    I asked the girl working at the shop where they got this thing – apparently it had been used for years as a movie prop and the owner found it, fixed it, and now uses it to make one mean cup -o- joe.

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    Urge to kill humans growing! GROWING!

    This place also definitely had a great vibe…

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    mmm…coffee out of a weirdo mug!

  • Signature Lounge – John Hancock Building, Chicago, IL

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    View from 96th floor of John Hancock Building. Sears Tower is on the far right (Loop financial district) – it is the tallest actual building in North America (C.N. Tower is just a big radio tower). The dark area to the left is Lake Michigan.

    There’s nothing really food related about this post, just a travel tip for all you folks that love exploring very unique bars and clubs.   I used to live outside Chicago and here’s a neat trick I learned.

    If you ever find yourself visiting or hanging out in downtown Chicago – do not go to the Sears Tower.   You will wait in line with screaming children and sweaty tourists.  I mean, why hang out in the tallest building in North America when you can hang out in the 6th tallest building in North America, and gaze upon the tallest building as it shimmers across America’s greatest downtown!?  That’s right friends – head on over to the John Hancock Building at the North end of Chicago’s Magnificent Mile (Michigan Ave.).

    As you head in, do not go to the observation deck – it costs money and you will remain thirsty as you gaze over the city from the top of the world.  Also, do not go to the Signature Room – this is one of the most expensive restaurants in Chicago and it is actually BELOW the Signature Lounge (95th floor, instead of the 96th!).  Instead go to the Signature Lounge for these reasons:

    1. It is Free.
    2. It has the most amazing views of Chicago.  Ever.
    3. You will receive good service from hilarious and friendly waiters/waitresses.  I have been several times and they’ve always impressed me!
    4. Drinks in downtown chicago are expensive.  It is the 3rd largest city in America, so drinks are almost as much as they are at the airport.  Alcohol is rare there.  Drinks at the Signature room are no more expensive than anywhere else in the area!  Apparently, the booze takes the elevator for free, just like you did!
    5. If it is busy…wait for a table next to the windows.  Wait an hour.  Wait 2 hours if you have to.  For Goddsake, you’re waiting on top of a skyscraper.
    6. Wait for a table on the south side of the building.  You’ll know you’re on the south side by the lights…since it faces THE ENTIRE CITY OF CHICAGO.
    7. You can linger without problems if you nurse a bottle of wine (many are under $40) or a couple of martinis.  I recommend the Chocolate Martini – “I believe I detected a hint of Hazelnut?  Was that Frangelico?”

    In summary: I don’t care how trendy you are, or what kind of DJ, or furniture, or nonsense fads you peddle in order to get customers.  If you’re a bar and you don’t happen to be damn near a quarter of a mile in the air, you probably just can’t compete with the Signature Lounge.  Period.

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    I recommend lingering into the evening….
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    This is Navy Pier at night. You can see this from the East side of the building that looks into the darkness of Lake Michigan. I recommend avoiding Navy Pier at all costs – if you do not want to stumble into the ultimate tourist trap

    The Signature Lounge at the 96th
    875 N. Michigan Ave.
    Chicago, IL 60611
    312.787.9596
    http://www.signatureroom.com/Signature-Lounge/