BK Burger Shots – A Crime Against Humanity

John April 18, 2009

burger, review

I decided to give Burger King’s new “Burger Shots” a try the other day. The King is not a place I frequent, but if I see commercials for a new food product I usually stop in and try it at least once.

I ordered the four pack which came wrapped up in twos. Here is what they gave me:

The first thing I noticed was that the buns were way bigger than the beef. Next, after removing the buns I realized that the beef was connected. The patties aren’t separate little slider patties like you get at White Castle, they’re actually more like Siamese twins that you have to rip apart. There’s just something unappetizing about food that looks like it’s in the middle of mitotic cell division.

Another problem was that the patties kind of tasted like a normal Burger King burger minus the whole flame broiled part. So basically completely over cooked and generally not good.

I recommend that you never eat these things. Never ever. Stick to your White Castle sliders and Krystals.

The Fifth-Third Burger

John April 17, 2009

Competitive Eating, Fat Foods

burger, ridiculous

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you…

The Fifth Third Burger.

1.66 pounds of beef, lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili, and Fritos. All on an eight-inch sesame seed bun. Officially it feeds one to four people.

Best part about this burger? It’s within driving distance of me. They sell it at West Michigan Whitecaps Fifth Third Ballpark in Comstock Park, Michigan.

I will eat it. Oh yes I will.

Oh, and I added a new page to the top to group together all the eating conquests I plan on attempting and the ones I have already tried. Take a look. It’s a work in progress!

Happy’s Pizza

John April 17, 2009

Randoms

pizza

A Happy’s Pizza just opened up in Ypsilanti, so naturally I have eaten there a few times in the last week or so. They have a $5 calzone for lunch that is made from their large pizza dough. Delicious. While I was eating this monster the other day, I throughoully read over the menu and couldn’t help wondering, “Who orders this shit?” I’m sure the seafood and ribs would be tasty if I gave them a try, but I just can’t imagine ordering ocean pearch, catfish or ribs for delivery from a pizza place. Now that I think about it, I would like to see what kind of box they bring a whole slab of ribs to you in.

Past that, the combinations they have there are just weird. For instance,

The Giant Family Special
1 Large Pizza
1 Whole Slab or Ribs
6 pc. Chicken
1 Large Order of Fries
Cole Slaw

Now I’m not one to complain about recieving a large amount and variety of food, but that’s just ridiculous. Who eats ribs with pizza and then finishes it off with chicken???

Pizza & Shrimp Combo

1 Large Pizza
1 Lb. of Shrimp

Shrimp and pizza do not go together. I don’t care what you say.

Smorgasbord

4 BBQ Ribs
2 Pc. Chicken
5 Pc. Jumbo Shrimp
2 Pc. Cajun Spices Perch

That’s just weird. BUT, if you would like to make it weirder you may substitute rib tibs for the ribs or chicken wings for the chicken.

Let’s not forget you can also order a spicy hot sausage dinner, lasagna, fried okra, cheeseburgers or a steak salad. OR if you’ve got a sweet tooth you can get peach cobbler, bananna pudding, sweet potato pie, or my favorite, a giant slice of cake (chocolate or carrot).

Don’t get me wrong, I love Happy’s Pizza and I’m sure one of these days I’ll get a taste for some Ocean Perch with a side of a meat lover’s pizza. Until then, I’m just going to be a bit weirded out and stick to my calzones.

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