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Epic Portions — …I see food and I eat it. — Page 70

Subway Breakfast = Stupid

Fast Food, Food Reviews

After hearing about Subway’s decision to begin serving breakfast, I planned a long epic rant.  I then realized that the pictures circulating around the internet spoke for themselves, and no one in their right mind would buy this crap after seeing what it actually looked like.

Instead, I would like to point you in the direction of Indianapolis Eater’s recent review on WouldIBuyitAgain.

Oh, and to add a little bit of originality I went to Google Translate and translated my feelings into Spanish.  Anyone who can translate what the following says earns 1000 cool points from me.  Those are hard to come by.

Subway es una estupidez y sirve comida horrible. Cinco pies dólar anhela es la peor canción del mundo. Odio a metro. Si usted come a metro, usted no está comiendo fresco. Usted está comiendo estúpido.

Beer Madness, Final Four and Championship!

Beer/Drinks, Randoms

We have arrived at the end.  After three weeks of intense competition, lobbying by beer lovers from across the globe (I don’t care if you are mad at me China, Tsingtao still sucks), and what my doctor described as “a liver Mickey Mantle would be proud of”…WE HAVE A CHAMPION!  First, the final four results.

 

Final Four:

(5) Hoegaarden over (3) Budweiser American Ale

I know I said upsets were possible, but did anyone really think Bud American Ale could defeat Hoegaarden?  Having said that, American Ale is a pretty solid brew.  AB/InBev needs begin to promote this beer as their “flagship.”  They can be proud of it, and it would help to elevate their status in the beer world.  Until then, most people will associate Budweiser products with swill.  Considering the quality of American Ale that is a shame.  If you haven’t tried it, we are only talking about anywhere from $7-$8 for a six pack.  Give it a shot…

(3) Anchor Steam over (4) Negra Modelo

My new found love of Modelo Dark plus lime cannot defeat the smooth, hoppy flavor of Anchor Steam.  While it may have been unexpected to see Anchor Steam survive the American Microbrew (aka the group of death) bracket, it isn’t implausible.  Anchor is a fine beer and a credit to its San Francisco brewers.

Setting up the glorious championship, which was fought last night while watching Butler defeat Michigan State.

Championship:

 

(5) Hoegaarden over (3) Anchor Steam

Our regular readers knew of my love for Hoegaarden from previous posts, but I honestly thought it would run into trouble late in the European bracket, especially considering the strength of competition.  The true Belgian White, Hoegaarden combines the classic combination of orange peel and coriander to create a magical concoction.  They even recommend a special hexagon glass to drink it out of, which I keep under lock and key in a refrigerated hexagonal beer glass cabinet. 

Behold...the hexagonal glass!

Anchor Steam was a worthy runner-up, a true American Microbrew that is a pleasure to drink year round, but the flavor of Hoegaarden was too much for Anchor to overcome.

Final Notes:

Obviously, this was a highly subjective competition.  How do you compare a Belgian White to a Pale Ale?  Brown Ale vs. Pilsner?  The honest answer it that you just have to trust whatever tastes best at that moment.  I could run this bracket again in six months and have different results.  The main objective was to enjoy the beer and perhaps learn a few things in the process.  In that sense, mission accomplished.

A special thank you goes out to John for helping decide a decisive Mexican battle, J & K from Ypsi for an enjoyable night of drinking and their honest feedback (Bell’s Amber vs. Anchor was tough but fun), and my wife for helping on championship night.

My guess is that next spring I will pursue a different challenge.  Breakfast cereals, salty snacks, who knows.  I need to recover from this one before I start to worry about next year.  I sincerely hoped that EP readers enjoyed this year’s beer tourney.  Happy drinking and, please Butler…BEAT DUKE!

The Double Down is Coming for your Heart

Fast Food, Food Reviews

Last summer I wrote about my search for the rare phenomenon that was KFC’s Double Down Sandwich.  In case you missed it, the Double Down is two pieces of bacon and two slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese smothered with the Colonel’s Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.  No room for bread here.  Seriously, can this combination lose?

Well, a rep for KFC came across Epic Portions and our burning desire to try this sandwich and informed me that the Double Down will be available nation wide starting on April 12th.  They also sent me nutritional information but I disregarded it entirely.  If you’re interested in trying this sandwich I highly double you care that is has 1430 beautiful mg of sodium.  Whoops!


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