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Epic Portions — …I see food and I eat it. — Page 94

Vinturi Wine Aerator and Boxed Wine

Beer/Drinks

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It’s the weekend again – time to put our Hannumas/Christmakah presents to good use.  This year I got my better half the Vinturi Wine Aerator after using one at a friend’s house.

I won’t say too much about the hilarious variety of anatomically-related sounds that this thing makes, but nevertheless – it is a miracle for cheap wine lovers everywhere.  A wine aerator allows you to pour wine into an opening, which narrows and allows the wine to pull in air as it passes into the glass (thus, the glamorous marketing pun on the Venturi effect).

This mimicks a very rapid decanting for red wine, something no reasonable person does with the type of red wine (cheap) that my income bracket generally drinks.   In our experience using this sucker over the past two weeks (it’s the holidays so…yeah that’s been quite a bit), we’ve noticed that wine becomes softer, has better mouthfeel, and generally tastes….more expensive.  Woohoo!  3 buck chuck becomes…6 buck chuck?

We decided to put this to the test with the ultimate taboo of the wine-based dinner party: the good ol’ box -o- wine!  The box of wine is the ultimate wine democratizer – more practical than the heavy glass Jug-o-wine (I miss those Ernest and Julio Gallo ads!), and capable of lasting through nearly one weekend during a camping trip in the Kentucky hills years ago.

The fact is, if I want 5 liters of wine, it would cost me a pretty penny!  But if I want it in a plastic bag..inside a box…with an air-tight spout allowing it to last a couple of months – it’s about the price of a case of pure, clean Natural Light.

Then comes Target onto the scene.  Recently, our friendly high-end big box retailer has been bringing the mass-marketed box -0-wine to a new level with their Wine Cube, a dandy little two-bottle boxed wine in a variety of blends.  This isn’t great wine, or even really good wine.  But it’s alright wine…which quite frankly, kicks Franzia right where it hurts.

This lead us to a basic scientific question.  Could wine aeration improve boxed wine?  Lets watch the scientific process do its magic:

Question: Could our box-o-wine improve with the wine aerator?

Hypothesis: Your damn straight it could.

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Methods/Results: A quick A-B blind taste test proved (N=3 individuals), with 100% certitude, that yes – the wine aerator vastly improved the nose, body, and finish of the Wine Cube, which was a 50% Cab/50% Merlot California blend.

Research Qualifications: I know, I know –  I wasn’t supposed to drink any %&*#ing Merlot!.

Conclusions: So there it is…the Vinturi works.  SCIENCE!

From Sideways:

Miles Raymond: Let me show you how this is done. First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You’re looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you’re doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. Uhh, that’s gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It’s usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don’t be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm… a little citrus… maybe some strawberry…
[smacks lips]
Miles Raymond: … passion fruit…
[puts hand up to ear]
Miles Raymond: … and, oh, there’s just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese…
Jack: Wow. Strawberries, yeah! Strawberries. Not the cheese…

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Moroccan Chickpea Soup

Other Recipes

Winter is upon us with a vengeance, and what better night to enjoy soup than a frigid Michigan winter evening.   In that spirit, epic soup consumption has become a Friday ritual for us.  My lovely and talented wife comes home from work early and plays with the kids while I get to cook. With the magic of Pandora radio and Hoegaarden (the greatest beer in the universe) I look forward to my Friday soup adventures all week.

This week I made one of our favorites, my take on Moroccan Chickpea.

Start by melting a tablespoon of butter in a large pot. Actually let me start over. Set your iPod on Pandora and select whatever artist suits you that particular day. Then, open up one of these:

Then melt one tablespoon of butter in a large pot. Add roughly one cup of mirepoix, which is fancy French talk for celery, carrots, and onion. But believe me, it is much more fun to say mirepoix. Add a pinch of kosher salt and allow the aforementioned mirepoix to saute in the pot with the butter for about five minutes. Enjoy the smell and sip/guzzle your beer, depending on how you feel that day.

After five minutes are up, add 32 oz. of low-sodium chicken broth (personal preference, I’d rather add salt if it needs it) and 8 oz. vegetable stock and bring to a boil.

Once you have achieved a rapid boil, add one cup of elbow pasta. Allow pasta to boil for 5-6 minutes. Reduce heat to medium and add the following:

1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
One 16 oz. can of chickpeas, drained
One cup tomato puree

To this add a pinch of parsley, no problem using the dehydrated version. Use your best judgement, if you are into precise measurements, soup isn’t your thing. Try baking. Please. I hate baking and am happy to let my wife be the baker.

Back to the soup. Allow this wondrous concoction to simmer for about 10-15 minutes while stirring and smelling frequently.   Then, add the crucial ingredient:

Fresh chopped cilantro

Add fresh chopped cilantro and let simmer for five more minutes. Save a little for garnish.

The final result:

Serve with pita bread for dipping.

If you are in the mood for a delicious, healthy, and hearty winter soup, this should hit the spot.

And if you don’t like, just drink a couple more of these:

Dinner at Home

My Recipes

One thing I don’t emphasize enough on this blog is my love for cooking.  I would be lying if I said that I didn’t love eating out, but the more I learn to make meals the way I like them the less I enjoy eating out at places unless they have something really special that I am looking for.  My style of cooking is a little different, because I enjoy throwing a bunch of different things together, measuring be damned, and hope it turns out good.  This is how I’ve always went about the process, and I’ve learned a lot more because of it.  Rarely do I ever follow recipes exactly how they are written.   I always like to change things and add my own ingredients.  This is what makes it fun for me.

I cooked a big dinner the other night which consisted of some of my favorites.  I felt the need to share.  Maybe next time I’ll try to write down a recipe.  Until then, enjoy the pictures.

The dinner started off with an appetizer plate consisting of garlic stuffed olives, grape leaves, artichoke hearts, and a feta spread.  The plate is drizzled with a pureed combination of garlic, olive oil, and red pepper.  This is how we do fancy over here.

One of my favorite things to make is baked potato soup.  Why?  Well, to be completely honest because it’s nearly impossible to screw it up.  You can throw almost anything into the pot, taste it, and if it needs more of something you just throw it in.  Cheese?  Great.  Broccoli?  Throw some in.  Sour cream?  As much as you like.  Chili beans?  That’s kinda weird, but sure.  It’s like an pot of imagination soup.  Oh, and I forgot the best part.  The most integral part of any baked potato soup is bacon.

My baked potato soup starts with the most delicious smelling combination in the entire world.  Sauteed onions and garlic.  Keep this a secret, but I have plans to turn this smell into a candle and market it nationwide.  From there I pour in some chicken stock, whole milk, a little flour, and 3-4 potatoes with a dash of salt and a good amount of pepper.  I let this boil until the potatoes are soft, then I let my immersion blender go to work.  I’m not a big fan of completely pureeing potato soup because I like a few chunks of potatoes in my bowl.  After the blending, in goes some crispy bacon, green onions, and whatever kind of cheese you like.  I stick with either Romano and/or cheddar.

This particular night I attempted to make a salad.  If you’re a regular reader you probably know that I’m not much of a salad guy.  Just never saw the point.  For some reason I decided that I was going to try and make a salad that I could enjoy.  The ingredients pretty much ruined the entire point of a green side dish, but I made a salad.  Give me some credit here.  My best idea for a salad that I could eat ended up being a buffalo chicken salad.  This consisted of baby Romain lettuce, Frank’s red hot mixed with ranch dressing, buffalo style chicken, and crumbled bleu cheese.  This turned out to be pretty tasty.  If I’m going to eat salad, this is what I’m going to require from now on.

Since a hearty soup and salad just weren’t enough, I made a main course for some reason.  I mixed up some ricotta and Romano cheeses with chopped spinach, pancetta, and some random Italian spices, and stuffed them inside of some Manicotti shells.  I poured some Bove’s roasted garlic marinara sauce over top, and left them in the oven on 350 for about 15 minutes.  If you’re ever looking for a quick dinner, this is perfection.

I understand this might be the most random combination of foods you have ever seen, but it was a fun dinner.  The tastes didn’t exactly go together, but who really cares?  The food was delicious, and everyone was full at the end of the night.  Until the next time I undertake a cooking endeavor such a this, I bid you good eating.  Damnit, that sounded too much like Alton Brown.


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