Tag: man v food

  • Don’t Call it a Comeback

    It has been too long, my friends.  I know I casually dropped by a few days ago with my Mr. Bourdain Goes to Cuba rant, but I wanted to formally say hello again as my absence has been far too lengthy. 

    Six months off food writing can change a man.  I spent the last month engaged in the oh-so-narcissistic act of reading many of my previous posts.  How can I improve?  Did I say anything relevant before my break?  Why did I spend so much time obsessing about Food Network?

    The answers are, like a properly prepared pomodoro, simple yet complex.  Improvement as a writer comes with practice, so by assuming my place here at EP I will no doubt improve.  I may or may not have written anything relevant, that is for you, the reader, to decide.  As for Food Network, I owe a lot to FN.  I received a culinary education from the likes of Alton Brown, Mario Batali, Emeril, and even Bobby Flay.  The fact that their programming has gone to shit is not my concern, and certainly not worth my time or witty insults.  They never owed me a thing.  If people want to watch Guy Fieri or Anne Burrell then more power to all of them.  I will leave Food Network with a gracious thank you and move on.

    I do want to issue one very earnest retraction.  In my anger over my beloved Man v. Food visiting Tios, I called Adam Richman a loser.  He most certainly is not.  I look like an asshole for making that statement, and it is beneath you, the reader, and me to make such a stupid claim.  Adam Richman has entertained me countless times, and my son and I love his show.  (More on M v. F in an upcoming post, as we all have noticed the change in format).  Adam comes across as a great guy.  Likeable, funny, friendly.  All the things I wasn’t when I insulted him.  Consider this an apology.  To him and to you.  You deserve a higher level of discourse.

    In the future, I hope to continue to bring humor to EP.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but when you are a stay at home Dad if you can’t find humor in life you will surely run amok.  Not that my running amok wouldn’t be humorous, I suppose, but you get the idea.  Humor is good.  I plan on writing more about my efforts to properly introduce my children to the larger world of food—that which exists beyond chicken nuggets and boxed mac and cheese.  I will cast a cynical eye on the important food issues of the day, from the welcome increased focus on local ingredients to the horrors of our national food safety policies.

    Most importantly, I will endeavor to continue to write in the spirit of Epic Portions—great food, devoured with enthusiasm.  John and Todd founded this blog and laid the groundwork for its success by sharing their humor, love of eating, and willingness to be bold in the search for delicious food.  I see no reason to venture too far from that formula.

    Finally, a sincere thank you to those of you who keep Epic Portions on their internet radar.  Aside from being called a few nasty names (probably some of it deservedly so), my interactions with you have been a lot of fun.  I like debate and disagreement.  Call me out if I’m an idiot, I need that sometimes.

    In my re-reading of my previous writings, I noticed that I certainly wrote quite a few beer reviews.  On that note, and in anticipation of the awesomeness that is the upcoming Michigan Summer Beer Festival right here in my hometown, I’ll have a new review up on Monday.  Until then I invite you to “like” us on facebook where I will re-post a few of my old reviews.

  • Man v. Food is Dead to Me

    Man v. Food has been one of my favorite shows since it began a few years ago.  It’s like a good version of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives with a likable host and an eating challenge at the end.  What is there not to love?  When I first saw it,  I felt like it was a natural fit that Epic Portions began covering it.  Travel Channel even sent me season one on DVD for free.

    I always hoped that Adam Richman would bring his show to Ann Arbor so I could hang out during production.  This week, the time finally came.  News started circling that the show was being filmed at Blimpy Burger on Wednesday, which was an obvious choice.  If someone was in town visiting and I needed one place to take them, Blimpy would more than likely be the winner.

    His next stop was the Maze and Blue Deli, which I found to be a little odd.  I could probably think of ten places I would have recommended over it.  I’m not saying the place isn’t good, but come on.  Just because it has “Maze and Blue” in the name doesn’t mean you have to stop there while in Ann Arbor.  I could open up a bike repair shop and call it “Maze and Blue Bike Shop”, but it wouldn’t mean you should take your bike to me to get fixed.  I don’t know shit about bikes. I would probably break your bike even more than it already was.

    I did everything I could to find out where the eating challenge would take place.  I scoured the internet, I talked to my insiders(HA!), and I kept my ear to the streets.  I was going to find Mr. Richman and I was going to be present for the challenge.  I had work  off, a full tank of gas, and a dream.  I finally found where out where it was all taking place, and what I read horrified me.

    They selected Tios’ Mexican Cafe as their final destination.

    Out of all places, they chose Tios.  Tios Mexican Cafe.  The WORST food in the area, perhaps the state. The place that has done everything in their power to DESTROY Mexican food.  The challenge turned out to be something I have written before… A hideous five pound pile of slop known as Mount Nacheesmo.

    More like Mount Pile of Garbage! Haha!

    Seriously, that is television worthy?  I could make that in my house and it would look/taste about 100 times better.  I was completely confused on this decision.  Ann Arbor has great local joints that really say something about the city, other than “Hey, we fucking hate Mexican food so we’re going to destroy it.  Here, have an enormous burrito filled with cat food and beans, and topped with yellow cheese and bland enchilada sauce.”  Why did Tios get the selection?  9/10 people that know food will tell you that Tios’ food sucks.  It’s common knowledge.  Couldn’t someone on the research team ask a local what they thought of the place and possibly recommend a good place to go?

    Some time ago, I read WouldIBuyitAgain.com’s, rant on the resturuant selection in the Indianapolis.   I now see what he means.  The selection process on Man v. Food has gotten awful.  I will no longer watch Man v. Food.  Let the boycott begin.