Epic Portions

Tag: pie

  • Chocolate Stout Pie

    What was it that John said about not basing too many posts off of Thisiswhyyourefat?  Well: this totally started as a This Is Why You’re Fat post about Guinness Pudding, which then led me over to Sprinklebakes (who is so brilliant!) and a fantastic explanation on how to make it happen.  But… this is me, this is Epic Portions, and I wanted to make it my own. (Also: I’m from St Louis once-upon-a-time, and I don’t really enjoy that that company that owns Guinness is kind of taking over, and I wanted to support the home team.)  So, I eliminated the Guinness, replaced it with Schlafly’s Oatmeal Stout, added a chocolate graham crust, and voila: Chocolate Stout Pie.  Delicious!

    Chocolate Stout Pie (makes two 8in pies)
    1.5 cups chocolate graham crumbs
    6 tblspn melted butter
    1/4 cup sugar
    1/4 tablespoon salt

    11 egg yolks
    1 1/3 cup sugar
    20 oz stout
    4 cups heavy whipping cream
    10 oz high-quality chocolate

    First, make your crusts. Melt the butter, crumble your graham crackers, and combine them with the sugar and salt.  Press firmly into your pie pans, and bake for 15 minutes in a 350F over.

    Now, for your pudding: in a metal bowl, beat together the egg yolks and the sugar.  Slowly pour the stout into a large glass, pouring down the side so that you don’t get foam.  Foam = bad for baking.  Now, take a heavy-bottomed saucepan and pour half of the stout into it.  Add 3 cups of the heavy cream, and slowly heat until bubbles begin to form at the edges.  Meanwhile, melt your chocolate in a double-boiler.  Once the bubbles are forming over in cream-stout world, pour the hot liquid into the melted chocolate and beat until combined.  Slowly pour that mixture into the egg mixture, beating constantly to prevent it from curdling.  (No, spell check, I did not mean cuddling. Curdling.)  Pour the entire mix back into your saucepan and cook over medium heat for about 20 min, until it thickens to coat the back of a spoon.  Pour the cooked mixture into a blender and blend on high for about two minutes, then pour into your baked crusts.  Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until cooled.

    In the meantime, pour the other half of the stout into a small saucepan and bring to a boil.  Reduce to medium heat and simmer for a good long time until you have a syrup.  Just don’t burn it – it’ll smell really bad and taste even worse.  When you have a nice thick delicious stouty syrup, pour it into a small bowl and refrigerate until cool.  Once your syrup is cool and your pudding is set, beat the remaining cup of heavy cream into soft peaks, then add the syrup and beat until combined.  Divide between your pies, refrigerate for an hour or so to set everything, and serve.

    Trust me, you’ll be glad it makes two!

  • Blackberry-Balsamic & Kiwi Tart

    A little over a year ago, I discovered the berry-balsamic combination in all its greatness. I had just bought an ice cream maker, and since all the flavors in the little book seemed boring, I struck out on my own with strawberry-balsamic ice cream. I burned the hell out of the first batch of balsamic reduction, and I thought my roomies would never forgive me for the smell, but it ended up being so delicious that I never looked back.

    After last week’s very-rich-and-creamy chocolate cake, the masses were begging for fruit, and I decided a tart would do the trick. I really like the look of blackberries and kiwis, but any berry would do for this recipe. (Except maybe blueberries. Someone try that and let me know how it goes?) I don’t use shortening if I can help it, so the all-butter crust is courtesy of Paula Deen. The rest is generally my own.

    (Side note: DO NOT try and make pie crust with cake flour. Even if it’s all you have and you really don’t want to run to the store again. It is going to turn into a disgusting, gelatinous goo. Trust me on this one.)

    Blackberry-Balsamic & Kiwi Tart

    Crust:
    1 cup confectioner’s sugar
    3 cups all purpose flour
    3 sticks unsalted butter

    Combine everything until it forms a doughy ball. (Miss Deen uses a food processor, others use a stand mixer. I own neither so used a hand mixer and it worked fine.) Grease a 9×11″ glass baking dish with butter, and pre-heat your oven to 350F. Roll dough on a floured surface until it is pie-crust thin and roughly the same shape as your baking dish. Place crust in baking dish, press the corners in and the sides up, and bake for 10-15 minutes or so until it’s flaky and slightly brown and generally done. Cool on a baking rack.

    Blackberry-balsamic egg custard:
    6 egg yolks, cool
    1/2 cup white sugar
    1/4 cup flour (I DID use cake flour here, and it was fine.)
    4 tablespoons cornstarch
    2.5 cups milk, cream, etc (I use about half heavy cream and about half whole milk, and it is yummy.)
    3 tspn vanilla extract

    18 oz whole fresh blackberries
    1/2 cup white sugar (can be adjusted to suit your berries; I was way out of season and they were TART)
    2-ish tablespoons tapioca granules
    1/4 cup balsamic vinegar

    In a metal bowl, mix the egg yolks, 1/2 cup sugar, flour and cornstarch together until it forms a smooth, light yellow paste. Meanwhile, cook milk and vanilla extract on medium heat until JUST boiling. Remove from heat and add half to egg mixture in bowl, WHISKING CONSTANTLY to prevent sticking (it helps if you have three hands about now.)  Add the new mixture in the bowl back into the hot milk pot and keep on whisking. Return to medium heat and bring back JUST to a boil, and cook for about a minute more until it thickens and becomes hard to stir. Find that magic moment when it is as thick as you can get it without being burnt. Remove from heat, transfer to a clean bowl, and immediately cover and chill.

    In a clean saucepan, put the blackberries, remaining sugar, and balsamic vinegar onto medium heat. Mash it a bit with a potato masher to smush up the berries. Gradually add up to 2 tblsn of tapioca to thicken, stirring well. Stir it well throughout, actually, and watch it closely, becuase burnt balsamic vinegar smells really vile. When it reaches a runny-but-jammy sort of consistency, remove from heat. Grab your chilling custard, add the blackberry compote, and beat with an electric mixer until well combined. Re-cover and put back in the fridge to chill completely through before assembling.

    To assemble:
    6 oz blackberries and 6 kiwis, give or take.

    Slice kiwis into thin round slices, place on a plate, and stick in the freezer to chill. Wash the blackberries and stick them in the freezer, too.  When you’re almost ready to serve the tart, spoon the blackberry custard – completely chilled – into the cooled crust, and artfully place the chilled fruit on top. Devour.

    Enjoy!