Tag: prison

  • I Want Prison Carrott Cake

    Check out this recipe for Rikers Island prison carrot cake. Apparently its the favorite of the inmates.  If it’s good enough for Rikers, it should be good enough for you, your family, and literally…your 12,999 closest friends.  Just gotta make 100 of the batches below:

    Yay! 25 Loaves of Prison-made Carrot Cake!

    Rikers Island Carrot Cake

    25 pounds sugar

    3 gallons vegetable oil

    25 pounds flour

    8 ounces salt

    1 pound baking powder

    8 ounces baking soda

    6 ounces nutmeg

    6 ounces allspice

    4 ounces clove powder

    4 ounces ginger

    8 ounces cinnamon

    25 pounds carrots

    25 pounds eggs

    8 pounds walnuts

    20 pounds raisins

    8 ounces vanilla extract

    1. Place in a mixing bowl – sugar, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, clove powder, allspice, baking powder, baking sods, salt. Using a paddle mix on slow for five minutes.

    2. Add raisins, carrots, walnuts, eggs, vegetable oil and vanilla extract mix on slow speed for an additional five minutes.

    3. Increase speed to medium for 10 minutes.

    4. Pour into loaf pans. Pans should be three-quarters full.

    5. Bake at 350° for 40 minutes.

    Each batch makes 25 loaves of carrot cake.

    Maybe cut this recipe by 25?  Now THAT’S a math problem you can sink your teeth into.  Heh.  Heh. Heh.  Why do I suddenly feel like that guy from reading rainbow?

    Why does Rikers look like my old dorm room?
  • Hot Sauce – “Made with Conviction”

    This is awesome.  Anyone remember that simpsons episode where Homer eats the Guatemalan Insanity Pepper, goes all trippy, and discovers himself?

     The merciless peppers of Quetzalacatenango… grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.
    The merciless peppers of Quetzalacatenango… grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum.

    Forget Guatemala!  According to CNN, the inmates of the HillsoborughCounty Jail are making hot sauce – and you can buy some from www.jailhousefire.org.  Don’t be surprised if you find a sprinkle of crack in there, though!  I mean…it is prison and this ain’t no license plate!

    Not sure how appropriate the Ad campaign is, but…whatever.

    04_bomb