Epic Portions

Tag: subway

  • Subway Breakfast = Stupid

    After hearing about Subway’s decision to begin serving breakfast, I planned a long epic rant.  I then realized that the pictures circulating around the internet spoke for themselves, and no one in their right mind would buy this crap after seeing what it actually looked like.

    Instead, I would like to point you in the direction of Indianapolis Eater’s recent review on WouldIBuyitAgain.

    Oh, and to add a little bit of originality I went to Google Translate and translated my feelings into Spanish.  Anyone who can translate what the following says earns 1000 cool points from me.  Those are hard to come by.

    Subway es una estupidez y sirve comida horrible. Cinco pies dólar anhela es la peor canción del mundo. Odio a metro. Si usted come a metro, usted no está comiendo fresco. Usted está comiendo estúpido.

  • Annoying Fast Food Diets

    Minyanville, a nice business and finance site, recently did a piece on the new ‘fast food diets’ like Taco Bell’s drive through diet, and Subway’s Jared campaign.  Read the fine print in the Taco Bell ad – ‘an exceptional experience based on a 1250 calorie diet.’  You read that correctly…1250 calorie.  That is…ridiculous, especially considering that the bean burritos are like 18,719,834,782,934 calories…roughly speaking.  Less with the ‘Fresco Salsa.’

  • Jared is Fat Once Again…

    Apparently he was on his way to promote the launch of the chain’s new Footlong Chocolate Brownie and Cream Cheese Frosting on Wheat.  Looks like he’s been doing plenty of taste testing before the big launch.  A person’s weight gain has never made me happier.

    foglefat