Dippin’ Dots: NOT the Ice Cream of the Future.

by John on August 17, 2009 · 24 comments

dippin+dots

Ever since I was about five years old, I would always see a stand at large social events selling a product called Dippin’ Dots.  It was always advertised as the “Ice Cream of the Future!”  They always made me curious when I was a little guy.  Tiny Beads of Ice Cream?  In assorted flavors and colors?  Sounds awesome!

Let me just say, they never were and never will be awesome.

They are NOT the goddamn ice cream of the future.  Give it up.  Dippin’ Dots were started in 1988, which means it’s been openly available to the public for 21 years now.   It’s not in testing phase or not completely ready to sell until the future is now.  You can go to any sporting event, concert or carnival and purchase Dippin’ Dots for a completely unreasonable price.  Wow, thanks.  The smallest bowl possible filled with  tiny beads of cheap ice cream for $4.99.  Big Macs were available for sale in 1988.  Do we consider those the burger of the future?  NO.

Other things that happened in 1988 that aren’t considered (blank) of the future…

  • Sonny Bono elected mayor of Palm Springs.  Sonny Bono is NOT the politician of the future.
  • Super Mario Brothers 3 was released.  Super Mario Mario Brothers 3 is NOT the future of gaming.
  • Ted Turner bought World Championship Wrestling (WCW), which was bought out by Vince McMahon and disbanded in 2001, making it NOT the future of wrestling.
  • Brooke Hogan was born.  I don’t even feel the need to explain.

This is taken directly off the Dippin’ Dots.com’s Frequently Asked Questions Page:

Why is Dippin’ Dots the Ice Cream of the Future?

Much like microwave ovens revolutionized the way we cook, Dippin’ Dots is revolutionizing the way we think of ice cream. Our high-tech cryogenic process is a highly advanced method of ice cream production, unique within the ice cream industry.

Are these people for real? Do they hear themselves? Dippin’ Dots has revolutionized the way we think of ice cream? Henry Ford revolutionized the automobile industry, broadband is revolutionizing telecommunications, the Catholic Church revolutionized pedophilia. But taking something that already exists, freezing it into tiny balls, and selling it, is not revolutionary, nor is it making it “of the future.”

Last I checked we had birthday cakes, then we had birthday ice cream cakes, and now we have birthday cookie cakes (which are delicious I might add) but we skipped right over birthday Dippin’ Dots cakes? Know why? Because it’s stupid, that’s why.

Last time I checked regular old ice cream is still around, and I don’t think Ben OR Jerry are shaking in their boots at the thought of Dippin’ Dots cornering the market.  They should change the name to Dippin’ Dots: The Novelty Ice Cream of the ’90s.

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Dippin’ Dots: Ice Cream of the Future « Life With Hammy
August 17, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Bitter News, 3-5-10 | Bitter Lawyer
April 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Bear Silber August 17, 2009 at 10:21 am

Hahahaha….well said friend…great little rant.

I do, however, take exception to this “Super Mario Brothers 3 was released. Super Mario Mario Brothers 3 is NOT the future of gaming.” – That game was, is and always will be EPIC!

Barb August 17, 2009 at 11:47 am

The major problem with Dippin’ Dots is that they have no taste! They rely on the color and shape to fool people and it seems to work since I often see kids eating them at sporting events, malls, etc.

JonatsGonats August 17, 2009 at 11:58 am

Ice Cream trend now is go for high quality and as green/healthy as possible. In my country, gelato is the newest and hottest trend because it is French and that’s all about it. People should be educated about ice cream.

stephanie August 17, 2009 at 3:20 pm

I love gelato. Let’s make that the “new” ice cream of the future. Ready gooooo gelatoooo!

wouldibuyitagain.com August 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Ha, very nice. I always wonder when things become antique/vintage/ etc… It’s hard to put a timeline on such awesomeness.

I saw some Dippin Dots in the store the other day on sale and I almost bought them…then I thought…what I am doing, these suck!? I put them back quickly and then looked around to make sure no one saw me on the verge of making such a bad decision. I bought some Breyer’s instead. Good stuff.

Clay August 18, 2009 at 11:39 am

Gelato from France? Try again JonatsGonats. It’s Italian.

Reilly September 3, 2009 at 2:39 pm

ummm…a few corrections are in order here. As a ice cream snob, I HAVE to point out the obvious:

Having been to Italy, Gelato is NOT a french invention.
The the word “Gelato” is literally translated means ice cream in Italian. Just like in Spanish Helado is ice cream.

2. Dippin’ Dots is not sold in grocery stores. So whomever stated they almost “bought some in the grocery store the other day” is wrong. It is probably a knock off brand in which case, if you did buy them you would have been extremely disappointed as they are loaded with chemicals and taste nasty. Dippin’ Dots cannot be kept in a “normal” freezer as it is not cold enough.
3. dippin’ Dots has plenty of flavor because it is made with fresh ice cream ingredients which are flash frozen immediately after made. This locks in the freshest tasting ice cream flavor. So maybe you tried the knock-off store brand that is injected with tons of chemicals so it can last in a “normal” freezer??

4. Ice Cream of the Future is no longer the Dippin’ Dots slogan.

5. Sonny bono is dead so how can you say he “is not the politian of the future” He can’t be, since he’s dead. He died back in the 90′s when he accidentially skied into a tree. DUH.

6. dippin’ Dots has soft ice cream on the level of Ben & Jerrys or Hagen das.

7. The median price of a 5oz cup of Dippin’ Dots is about $2.75. Which is the same as a scoop of Ben & Jerrys or Baskin Robbins. It is just that Dippin’ Dots is processed differently and all the air is removed. Therefore, you are getting 100% ice cream. No air fillers.

Okay…you stand corrected.

John September 3, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I am fully aware that Sonny Bono is dead, which is the reason he is not the politian of the future. That was some humor there. Glad you got it.

Last time I checked, which was about 3 weeks ago, Dippin Dots was still being declared the ice cream of the future.

I do not stand corrected, and I now feel terribly for insulting something that you feel so passionate for. I apologize for hurting your feelings.

DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reilly September 3, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Sorry. disagree about the slogan. I have insider info that the slogan is no longer being used. new slogan is “Dippin’ Dots Rock” based on my source.

Todd September 3, 2009 at 9:17 pm

insider information? Are you dippin dots insider? That’s impossible! You must be from the future!

Stephanie November 8, 2009 at 10:27 pm

For whomeever you are that feels the need to knock down dippin dots…

You do not know what you are talking about and have oviousely had a bad experince or are jelous yourself that you did not invent this great product.

The price of dippin dots are… 3.5oz= 2.50 5oz=3.50 8oz=4.50 and 12oz=5.50 so where ever you saw them that highly priced must have been somewhere that sells everything else very high.

Also, The slogan was just a chatchy phrase that caught the comsumer’s eye…it was not ment to be taken littally. Also, not everyone had tasted dippin dots and so in the future once everyone has tasted dippin dots there will be no other ice cream

Another thing, do not be fooled by the knock offs in the stores or other so called “compared to dippin dots” like miny melts. these are nastly knock off and do not comepare to the original.

I also must say that I really wish you could give them another shot.

Eric August 17, 2010 at 4:34 pm

After reading your article, it makes me wonder…have you really tried the product you are slandering? I think that if you had then you would probably not speak so negatively about it (unless you did, by chance, try one of Dippin’ Dots knock off competitors like Mini Melts or Itti Bitz – they are worthless and cheaper for a reason).

Don’t get me wrong. I understand that you’re taking a cheap jab at a slogan that was created in 1988 as a sales tool. Yeah, they had the same slogan for a long time. Haha. Hilarious. You’ve done a wonderful job in pointing out the obvious. You get a gold star. (Sorry. Where are my manners?)

The point of the slogan was that Dippin’ Dots was taking a tired idea that had been created and eaten the same way for a long time and revolutionizing it into something fun and creative. Dippin’ Dots isn’t just ice cream…it is ice cream that seems to emphasize breaking the rule of “not playing with your food.” It is a family treat that is aimed at kids much like traditional ice cream. But what fun is hand-scooped ice cream? You can buy that at Wal-Mart and take it home and eat it.

Also, note that Dippin’ Dots seems more expensive because (as Reilly pointed out before) because a larger volume of Dippin’ Dots can fit into a smaller bowl than a traditional ice cream because, whenever it is flash frozen the air is removed from the product. So, a traditional bowl of ice cream (if you were to remove the air from the product) would not fill the same space as a similar bowl of Dippin’ Dots. With Dippin’ Dots you get 100% ice cream made with high quality materials. That is another reason for the price. You can buy a knock off product for less but who knows what you’re putting into your body?

So, now that you know a bit more of the truth about Dippin’ Dots, maybe you won’t feel as strongly negative about the product? I suggest that you go find a Dippin’ Dots stand and give the product a shot. It is great. I have the opportunity to work where Dippin’ Dots are not difficult to come by and I will say that I am hooked.

Anyway, let me conclude by saying that I enjoyed reading your article – I even got a chuckle at the references to Super Mario Bros. 3, Sonny Bono, and Brooke Hogan. Although I agree with Bear Silber that Super Mario Bros. 3 is epic (and it is sort of the future of gaming as it has been re-released on both the Nintendo DS and the Wii due to its fame and large fan-base). Lastly, for somebody who is so strongly against supporting Dippin’ Dots, answer me this: Can over a million facebook fans be wrong that Dippin’ Dots is great? I don’t think so. Thanks.

Jeremy August 17, 2010 at 7:04 pm

I feel like I need to weigh in here…

First of all, I have and I know John has tried Dippin’ Dots. While it may be shocking, there are those of us who are not fans of the product. I can assure you there are many people who feel the same, even after subjecting their taste buds to the glory that is Dippin’ Dots. To suggest the reason we are not fans is due to the fact we have never tried them is a poor rationale for debate.

Secondly, I take umbrage with you saying Dippin’ Dots took “a tired idea that had been created and eaten the same way for a long time and revolutionizing it .” Why is ice cream, one of the world’s most universally beloved foods, “tired”? I will give Dippin’ Dots credit for having thier own unique product and cheers to those of you who like them. I’m just saying that no one was sitting around eating ice cream wondering if it could be improved upon. That would be impossible. It’s as if somone decided to create little peanut butter pellets and called it the “peanut butter of the future.” You can no more improve upon peanut butter than you can improve upon ice cream.

Which leads me to their slogan. Calling them the ice cream of the future implies there is a problem with the ice cream of the present. Clearly there is not. The use of that slogan opens them up to ridicule, or “cheap jabs” as you say, and EP is happy to supply that when necessary.

Lastly, Justin Beiber has over 9 million facebook fans. Can they possibly be wrong? Hell yes. Equating popularity with the masses with quality is another poor debate tactic.

Checkmate.

Evilteenietiff September 2, 2010 at 2:12 am

I didn’t think there’d be so much argument over an ice cream

Nick Greeno September 2, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Now, I only just recently discovered these little ice cream spheres (SPHERES take note, that will become very relevant in a moment) and have yet to try them. I can’t really argue for or against them, but there is one thing I have to say:Reilly and Eric have a huge flaw in their arguments that really bugged me.

Dippin’ Dots are SPHERES. Spheres do not have corners, edges or vertices, therefore, when you have lots of little spheres in a cup there are going to be tiny air pockets in between all the spheres. Yes, there are smaller spheres to fit in the gaps, but there will still be SOME amount of air. This “100% ice cream. No air fillers” argument is therefore completely not true and just plain bad.

Part of what makes ice cream so good and creamy is the air! Without little air pockets the ice cream would not be creamy and smooth it would just be ice. Made from milk. So to 100% ice cream with no air fillers I say, “Get the hell out of my freezer, you milky popsicle!”

B November 29, 2010 at 6:57 pm

You guys are crazy! Dip N’ Dots have been out for a while but they are way better than plain old ice cream! They are extraordinarily different and fun! You can think other wise but how many people come up with such an amazing invention like this? Think bout it!

Scrub December 15, 2010 at 11:55 pm

Lol, what a debate. You can tell that this is a good website because the authors know their guns all the way through before they shoot them. Get wrecked on, with facts.

John December 16, 2010 at 1:30 am

C’mon son.

chris February 22, 2011 at 3:20 pm

calm down.

seth March 4, 2011 at 4:21 pm

wow you guys are losers…

Todd March 15, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I didn’t think someone else hated Dippin Dots as much as I do. They are a novelty and nothing more.

the guy who made the justin bieber comment is absolutely right.

Kenny April 7, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I like Dippin Dots. John does not like Dippin Dots. We have our reasons for liking them and not liking them, which is based off of our taste buds. Our wallets have different tolerances too, which is something else we base our opinions on. And sure, they have a misfitting slogan, but not changing it isn’t a reason to like it. Kind of like how people jab at Justin Bieber for silly little reasons (I am not a fan of him, but hey, he’s richer than all of us, gotta respect that), the jab at its slogan is not really an opinion changer, just a little distraction. Therefore, I will conclude this argument with the only winner being time, who has wasted my time and many others within this weird argument.

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