Hello and Goodbye To All That

Randoms, Uncategorized

Greetings, fellow food lovers! My name is Jeremy and I am honored and humbled to be joining the Epic Portions team. I have known John for several years; we used to work together and share/critique many a meal. (On a side note, if you ever need a projector malfunction fixed, John is your man.) I am a father of two (six year old and one year old) and currently a stay at home Dad, thanks to my lovely and talented wife who wishes she could wax poetic about food in her spare time. My duties include acting as primary cook for the family, and yes, that means many adventures in food. I will do my best to live up to the high standard set by John and Todd.

Now, on to the good stuff.

Now that I’m no longer working for the man, I have found that fast food has quickly disappeared from my diet. No more trips out of necessity for a quick meal, it’s just me and my daughter at home for lunch most days, and the opportunity to cook dinner for my family (almost) every night. It has been wonderful, lots of work and lots of dishes to clean but a quality meal is worth the cleanup. Being rid of the oppressive grip of fast food has been liberating to say the least. No more painful indigestion, no more annoyance with someone messing up my order, no more feeling guilty after the meal. I won’t say I’m forever through with fast food, but it had dwindled to a very rare event.

There is one chance that it could change. If a Chick-fil-a opens somewhere in Metro Detroit, I will be there faster than you can say buck-buck-buguckk!! Chick-fil-a is primarily a southern phenomenon, although it has reached its beak as far north as Indiana. It is a quirky operation, the owner is a devout Christian who has this odd habit of actually following the no work on Sundays commandment. In effect, all Chick-fil-a restaurants, be they franchise or corporate, are required to be closed on Sundays. Below is a photo of the founder:

I grew up in Atlanta and St. Louis, so this prodigious producer of prominent poultry won my heart at an early age. Since my life brought me to Michigan I have been denied this culinary delight. I’ve tried to fill the void. Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich? Please, you just lied to me three times. McDonald’s tried to bastardize a version (most likely by sending an intern to Chick-fil-a and reverse engineering) called the Southern Chicken Sandwich. This is a vile piece of food that made me weep real tears (that smelled of pickle juice or whatever the hell they used).

A couple years ago my previous job led me to Lafayette, Indiana for a day of coma inducing meetings. Imagine my surprise as I drove to the meetings when I saw… a Chick-fil-a!  My drive back to Ypsi was a true Epic Portions moment. I stocked up on more food than a Glenn Beck listener waiting for the apocalypse. Two Chick-fil-a sandwiches, 20 of their oh-so-delicious nuggets, and a trough of their waffle fries. That’s right, I said waffle fries. Plus they had Diet Dr. Pepper!!! I was in hypertension heaven.

If all you know of Chick-fil-a is the idiotic “Eat Mor Chikin” cows they use to peddle their food, please do not judge. Yes, the ad campaign sucks. Aside from being insulting to cows (unless George Orwell lied to me cows can not only spell, they can also be enslaved by totalitarian regimes) it is a far cry from the greatest fast food marketing campaign in history:

As the nearest Chick-fil-a is about three hours away, I now feel honor bound to take a road trip and see if it still holds the power it once did. My gluttonous Indiana trip aside (road trips make most food taste better) I hope I find it to be less enthralling than I once did. It is amazing how when you have children you actually begin to care about what you put into your body. Odd thing, to be setting an example for impressionable young minds by merely shoveling food down your gullet. I’m not that keen on poisoning my kids with fast food, so the sooner I let it go the better. Besides, where is the adventure in a uniform, below average, saturated fat laden meal? Goodbye to all that, I’ll save my dining out dollars for places that earn and deserve them. .