Epic Portions

Author: Todd

  • A note on the greatest appetizer ever

    Tonight, I went to my favorite restaurant tonight (ACME, a restaurant in Carrboro NC).  I will post more on ACME sometime soon – still collecting stuff in order to do it justice.  Well, tonight they had two appetizer specials.  We got both.  No pictures – so close your eyes and use your imagination. Hold on to your f*&%ing hats.

    The specials:

    1. Porkbelly on collard greens.  For those of you who have not had pork belly before – it is the best thing ever.  Pork Belly is like a giant chunk of bacon – unsliced.
    2. The Gem O’ the Evening and reason for this post: A trout mousse with rosemary infused fatback spread, pork cracklins’, candied peanuts, and apple compote.

    Let me say that again.  Pork Cracklins.  With Fatback spread.

    Once more…because it bears repeating.    I ate fried pork skin (the ‘cracklin’), covered in Fatback.  Fatback is pure pork fat.  Not bacon fat.  No no – that’s much too lean.

    I wish I had pictures.  I’m gonna go lie down now.  Goodnight moon.

    ACME Food and Beverage Company
    110 E Main. Street.
    Carrboro, NC 27510

  • Annoying Fast Food Diets

    Minyanville, a nice business and finance site, recently did a piece on the new ‘fast food diets’ like Taco Bell’s drive through diet, and Subway’s Jared campaign.  Read the fine print in the Taco Bell ad – ‘an exceptional experience based on a 1250 calorie diet.’  You read that correctly…1250 calorie.  That is…ridiculous, especially considering that the bean burritos are like 18,719,834,782,934 calories…roughly speaking.  Less with the ‘Fresco Salsa.’

  • An Alternative to the Five Second Rule

    We all hate it when this happens. You’re making food or eating…and boom – something falls on the floor.

    The frustration. The pain. The shattered dreams. The awkward silence when you know someone saw it happen. The faux paus created by that split second – that infinitesimal moment of thought – where you consider eating it. And the person that saw you knows.  Oh, they know what you’re thinking.

    Friends, worry no more! No longer do we suffer through that pain and awkwardness. Thanks to recent research and the stylings of SFWeekly, we now have guidance.  I give you, the food-on-floor decision tree:

    Consult this handy chalkboard if you ever happen to drop your ham sandwich in front of your boss.

    On that note, a small rant:
    When I was in college, I found out that a girl got paid several grand to do summer research. Her question: Does the five second rule actually work? Her answer: “It depends what kind of food you drop, and what you drop it on”

    I’m pretty sure that a cancer researcher somewhere could have used that extra few thousand dollars, and I could have divined that answer if you’d bought me lunch or a cup of coffee.