Epic Portions

Category: Funny

  • Ms. Peachez Fried Chicken

    Quite possibly one of the funniest(creepiest) videos I have ever seen.  I came across this video on Youtube a few years ago, but it never blew up for some reason.  I just saw it again and thought it deserved the attention of any and everyone who reads this blog.  I’m still trying to figure out who allowed their kids to be apart of this.

    If you can actually follow along with the lyrics, here are a few genius lines.  As Kenny Bania would say.. It’s gold, Jerry, gold!

    “Imma Warn You Now Baby Here’s The Deal.  One Piece Of My Chicken You Can Call Dr. Phil”

    “Now where my hot sauce I don’t want no catsup.  Just one big juicy jalapeno pepper”

  • D.C. Councilman hates delicious late night pizza

    Apparently Washington D.C. Councilman Orville Redenbacher does not like his late night Jumbo Slice -O- Pizza.  I think that Dr. Bowtie forgot that Jumbo Slice [a string of pizza joints selling slices of pizza the size of your torso as late night drunk munchies] is located amongst about 1000 bars and clubs in Adam’s Morgan, a D.C. neighborhood.  Maybe that is what is causing the crime problem?  I’m no expert on urban crime, but drugs and booze in rowdy clubs where folks are stepping on sneakers, spilling drinks, and hitting on girlfriends could be the culprit here.  Leave the innocent pizza alone!

    source: http://www.wtopnews.com/?nid=596&sid=1681850

  • Criteria for a Great Mexican Joint

    This was a thread on the Roadfood.com forum and I found the whole thing hilarious.  A few of these are from people on the forum.  If this is in some way offensive to you, I guess I apologize.. but you probably need a sense of humor.  In no way is this intended to be mean spirited or attacking stereotypes.

    1. The chips are warm and the salsa MUST be home made.  If the chips and salsa are bad, the restaurant is bad.  If you sit down and are given bad chips and salsa, leave.
    2. It must be housed in a store front in a shopping center.  No free standing units need apply.  It’s also best if the shopping center has seen better days.  Disregard this one if you are in a traditional Mexican area such as Mexican Town in Detroit.
    3. The person who brings you your chips and salsa is not your server.  He or she is just the chips and salsa person.  They are usually the most recent addition to the staff, and they speak very little  or no English.  This tells me it’s a family run place, and the chips and salsa person is the newest member of the family to join the staff.
    4. The menus need to be a little bit sticky.  If they are wasting their time with something as pointless as cleaning the menu, they are not focused on the important things such as cooking good food.
    5. No yellow/orange cheese.  If the queso dip or shredded cheese on the food is yellow – GET OUT!
    6. Examine the walls.  If it looks as though there has been 40 or more coats, you could be in luck.  The newest paint job should contain colorful paintings and murals.
    7. A pinata or sombrero in the place somewhere on those walls.
    8. There should be no cute names on Menu.  Example:  Speedy Gonzalez or combos.  You should simply be able to say “I will have the #57”
    9. If they serve Menudo, you are in the right place.  Especially if it’s served on Sundays only.