Epic Portions

Category: Randoms

  • Foreign Pizza is Weird

    I don’t like base Epic Portions off of posts from Thisiswhyyourefat.com but when I saw Pizza Hut Middle East’s new Crown Crust Pizza, I had to share it.  I knew I could find a bit information on it.  The crust has little pockets filled with meatballs and balls of Philadelphia-brand cream cheese.  Apparently the purpose of the cream cheese is to be spread all over the pizza.  That doesn’t even sound good.

    Pizza Hut Crown Pizza

    Like a real G, I managed to locate a picture from a food blogger in Kuwait.  Like a real G, I said.

    Pizza Hut Crown Pizza

    Can’t figure out why anyone would want to slather their pizza in cream cheese and enjoy a meatball or two to wash down all those olives.  I guess it can’t be worse than the 12 Cones Pizza, which is filled with creamed “crabsticks” , shrimps and pineapple slices.  If you’re currently in the Philippines, what are you waiting for?  Go get one!  Thanks to Genejosh, Epic Portions’ correspondent based in the Philippines, for this delicious picture.

    12 Cones Pizza - Pizza Hut

    By the way, Genejosh does not work for Epic Portions.  In fact, I doubt she even knows we exist.  I just stole that last picture from her.  Hope she doesn’t mind!

  • Behold, The Ramen Fork

    Behold, The Ramen Fork

    Remember a few weeks ago when I shared with you a new way to eat cupcakes?  Do you also remember how I stated that the process changed everything?

    That didn’t change anything.  The Ramen fork changes everything.

    Seriously, this thing is like a more professional version of the already serviceable spork.  We here at Epic Portions are big supporters of the spork.  A fork with both tine for noodles and a small bowl for soup base.  Brilliant.

    In case you are a curious person like myself, here is more information than you ever wanted to know about the ramen fork.  This was stolen from SukiYakey.com, which is apparently the “world’s portal to cool japan”.  Some call me an internet ninja for being able to find this stuff.

    Ramen Fork was invented by Sugakiya, a Ramen restaurant in Nagoya Japan, aimed to eat the noodle and soup at the same time. This artistic shape was highly admired by The Museum of Modern Art in New York (MoMA) and was introduced to their museum gift shop. The museum says that it is making within the top 3 sales. It is 14 dollars for a piece.

    Sugakiya started introducing Ramen Fork since 1978. It was good for the environment as well as cost reduction, but many customers preferred the wooden chopsticks. For their 60-year anniversary, Sugakiya decided to completely renew it to a easy-to-use design. They asked Masami Takahashi for the new design and Sugakiya’s CEO Shinichi Sugaki gave him only one request which was to create a sophisticated design that MoMA would exhibit it. It took an year for Mr. Takahashi to reach the final design. The difference from the previous design is the number of tynes and where they are placed.

  • White Castle Scented Candles

    White Castle Scented Candles

    A while ago I had the brilliant idea of making food scented candles.  Who wouldn’t want their house smelling like bacon, lasagna, or sauteed onions and garlic at all times?  Sure, it might lead to obesity and questions about your character, but this was still an incredible idea on my part.  Unfortunately, I never got around to creating a prototype and researching a patent.

    Well, it looks I was too late. White Castle has already gone and created a candle(update: apparently these sold out within 24 hours and are no longer available.  the link has been removed from the website) with “steam-grilled-on-a-bed-of-onions scent of America’s first fast-food hamburger”.  Net proceeds will benefit the Autism Speaks foundation.

    Not only has White Castle completely stolen my idea, but they’ve made it beneficial for a chartable organization.  The only person that was going to benefit from my creation was me.  Damn you, White Castle.  Damn you.