Epic Portions

Category: Fast Food

  • Subway Breakfast = Stupid

    After hearing about Subway’s decision to begin serving breakfast, I planned a long epic rant.  I then realized that the pictures circulating around the internet spoke for themselves, and no one in their right mind would buy this crap after seeing what it actually looked like.

    Instead, I would like to point you in the direction of Indianapolis Eater’s recent review on WouldIBuyitAgain.

    Oh, and to add a little bit of originality I went to Google Translate and translated my feelings into Spanish.  Anyone who can translate what the following says earns 1000 cool points from me.  Those are hard to come by.

    Subway es una estupidez y sirve comida horrible. Cinco pies dólar anhela es la peor canción del mundo. Odio a metro. Si usted come a metro, usted no está comiendo fresco. Usted está comiendo estúpido.

  • The Double Down is Coming for your Heart

    Last summer I wrote about my search for the rare phenomenon that was KFC’s Double Down Sandwich.  In case you missed it, the Double Down is two pieces of bacon and two slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese smothered with the Colonel’s Sauce with two fried chicken patties as buns.  No room for bread here.  Seriously, can this combination lose?

    Well, a rep for KFC came across Epic Portions and our burning desire to try this sandwich and informed me that the Double Down will be available nation wide starting on April 12th.  They also sent me nutritional information but I disregarded it entirely.  If you’re interested in trying this sandwich I highly double you care that is has 1430 beautiful mg of sodium.  Whoops!

  • The Mc10:35 – I did it.

    A few days ago, Jeremy wrote about a new McDonalds menu item that has been sweeping the nation.  This item is called the Mc10:35, and can only be ordered at 10:35 AM which is the only time you can order simultaneously off of the breakfast and regular menu.  The sandwich is a combination of the Egg McMuffin and the McDouble and supposedly is an incredibly delicious creation.  I decided to put it to the test.

    I rolled up to my local McDonalds at 10:35 AM and asked the lady if they still had Egg McMuffins to be sold.  She said yes, and my next question was if I could order off of the lunch menu yet.  To my horror, she informed me that breakfast went until 11:00 AM during weekends.  This represented the single time in my life where I was disgusted that McDonalds was still serving breakfast.  Usually my experiences consist of me waking up late and arriving mere minutes after breakfast had ended.  I decided to return home, collect my thoughts, and return at 11:05 AM.

    At 11:05 AM, I decided to drive to a different McDonalds that is right down the street.  How convenient.  I ordered my Egg McMuffin and McDouble and was ready to go.  I resisted my urge to add Bic Mac sauce.  I guess the version you’re looking at is the Mc11:05, but I’m trying to be authentic here.

    I got it home and began creating my sandwich.  By creating, I mean I took the top bun off of the McDouble and replaced it with the Egg McMuffin minus the bottom muffin.  I took the pickles off, because I didn’t see that fitting in to this equation.  Easy creation, but completely magical.



    My apologies for picture overload, but I felt that was the only way to do this thing justice.  It was amazing.  The egg and Canadian bacon went oh so perfectly with the McDouble.  I urge you to try this combination out for yourself.  Your stomach might hurt for about an hour, but it’s worth it.

    Oh, last thing.. I ate this along with an additional Egg McMuffin, a hash brown, and a chili dog Stephanie brought home.  I’m beginning to be disgusted by myself.