Category: Food Reviews

Sabor Latino (Ann Arbor, MI)
I’m always looking for good Mexican restaurants in my area, so I get pretty excited when I can find one that is both authentic, and well reviewed. This was the case for Sabor Latino, in Ann Arbor. Everything I had heard said it offered delicious, authentic Mexican, Colombian and Puerto Rican dishes for a very affordable price. Morale was high.

I’m a believer that it is fairly easy to make average Mexican food by throwing different peppers and spices together, but extremely difficult to make great Mexican food using fresh ingredients and family recipes. It’s always disappointing to me when I come into a Mexican restaurant and see that their menu consists of unoriginal items like wet burritos, quesadillas and simple burritos. This just happened to be the case for Sabor Latino.

As I saw down, this restaurant seemed to fit all of my criteria for a great Mexican joint.
1. The salsa seemed to be freshly made, the chips were warm and there was no charge.
2. The building was not free standing.
3. Our chips and salsa were brought by someone other than our server.
4. The menus were slightly dirty.
5. No yellow cheese
6. The walls seemed to have been painted several times
7. There were several sombreros hanging from the wall
8. The menu was up front and simple.
My hopes were extremely high. Things began to go down hill from there. The temperature outside that day was around 75 degrees, and as we walked in I realized that the restaurant was warmer than it was outside.

The chips and salsa were a good start. The salsa was served in a small jug and tasted pretty good. It was a little over pureed, but the taste was pretty good and spicy. We decided to start with a bean and chorizo dip. What we got was one of the saltiest things I have ever eaten in my life. I know chorizo adds a lot of salt to any dish, but this was absolutely ridiculous. We found ourselves pouring salsa on top of the dish to attempt to cut the saltiness. Also, the chorizo was somehow ground and combined into a huge pile of refried beans. I expected somewhat of a layered dip with chorizo and cheese, but instead we got this over salted pile of beans. The worst part? Our waitress abandoned our table for ten minutes, leaving us dying for refills on our drinks. We couldn’t get get through half of the appetizer because of the saltiness.

The menu was extremely limited, and I attempted to order from the specials menu which apparently is only available on Fridays. I ended up settling on the fajitas with chicken, steak, and shrimp because the waitress said they were very good there. I’m always very hesitant to order fajitas at restaurants because I like to think that my family has the best fajita recipe in the world. My girlfriend, Stephanie, was more observant than I and saw that there was a daily special for chicken mole. I was immediately jealous.

When my fajitas arrived, and I was extremely disappointed before even trying them. The platter contained more large cuts of bell pepper than any of the meats. The peppers were only slightly roasted, and a large amount of liquid had formed under the toppings. The next thing I noticed was that in my small plate of fajita accessories, there was no sign of any cheese. No cheese on fajitas? I was assuming it was some sort of mistake, but found out when I asked for a small side of cheese that it was a dollar extra. Party foul. The fajitas were extremely bland, and when I finished the meat I was left with a heaping pile of peppers and onions. Not impressive at all.

Surely, the mole would be better. Nope! The shredded chicken was smothered in a mole sauce that had a little kick to it, but no real notable flavor. I can’t even begin to write a detailed review because of the blandness of the taste. You will have to settle for a picture of this one. I will note that when I asked for some form of hot sauce or green salsa, the waitress gave me a confused look and stated there was none.

We ended up leaving most of the food we ordered because of the heat in the restaurant, and the lack of any impressive food on our table. I would have to say this is the second least impressive Mexican restaurant I have ever visited, aside from the always terrible Tios in Ypsilanti. I’m not sure if it was simply the selection of food we chose, the lack of quality service, or the heat, but I left extremely frustrated and unhappy with the experience. I tried to write this review as nicely as possible, but if you want normal ranting John’s opinion.. It sucked. Terrible. Don’t ever eat there.
June 12, 2009
The Heart Attack Hall of Fame
Ever go out to eat and wonder how unhealthy that dinner you’re consuming might be? I sure don’t, but for some reason I was interested to take a look around at popular restaurants and see exactly who is trying to give America high blood pressure. Maybe it was because of my lack of creativity the last week or so, but man, did I succeed. There’s some pretty nasty stuff out there. I wouldn’t recommend you avoid all of these items because I can promise you that they are delicious, but just don’t eat them every night. You might find yourself looking like Kirstie Alley, and not the Kirstie Alley who gave birth to a baby who’s thoughts were narrated by Bruce Willis.

For every item, I will also provide photo evidence to show what you might look like if you were to indulge on that particular menu item on a daily basis. This is for my fellow sufferers of A.D.D. who just like looking at pictures.

Chipotle Mexican Grilled Chicken Burrito

1,179 calories
7 g fat
125 g carbs
2,656 mg sodium

Just wanted to start with something light to get us going. About a month ago, I wrote a post about how much I loved Chipolte once I actually gave it a chance. I always knew these monster burritos weren’t exactly good for you, and I feel as though it’s public knowledge. Despite a reputation for using healthy, fresh ingredients, Chipotle’s menu is limited to king-size burritos, overstuffed tacos, and gigantic salads —all of which lead to a humongous waistline.

While not all that terrible for you, you should probably avoid these things on your lunch break. I would recommend for dinner only, or you might find your fat ass riding a scooter to and from work.

Chili’s Awesome Blossom

2,710 calories
203 g fat
194 g carbs
6,360 mg sodium

Jesus. Hard to believe that a single onion can wreak so much nutritional havoc, but batter and fry anything and serve it with a rich dipping sauce and you’re bound to do some damage. Truth is, no one thinks that a deep fried onion is healthy. But, people don’t realize just how bad it really is. The pieces are so irregular it takes different amounts of time for sections of the same petal to cook. This means that some parts are invariably overcooked. When you overcook deep fried food, all the moisture is released and the oil is let in. That’s why onion blossoms are so much greasier and calorie-laden than say onion rings. Even if you split this thing 4 ways, you’re still eating about as many calories as you would from a normal meal. Daaaaaaamn.

If you keep eating the Awesome Blossom, you’re probably going to end up looking like that fat guy from Lost. I don’t know his name, but I bet he’s had a few Awesome Blossoms in his day.

P.F. Chang’s Pork Lo Mein

1,820 calories
127 g fat
95 g carbs

I don’t ever eat at P.F. Chang’s because I think they are overcharging for the quality of food offered. When I found out that the P.F. stood for “Paul Fleming”, I was even more turned off. If you can find a whiter name than Paul Fleming, I will buy you dinner. Anyways, back to the fat.. Don’t eat the Lo Mein. It’s bad for you. That’s all I got.

Continue eating the Lo Mein, and you will look similar to former WWF heavyweight wrestler, Yokozuna. Sure, he had some epic battles in the ring, but he died when he was 36 and weighed in at a trim 900 pounds at that time.

Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Triple-The-Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing

2,040 calories
150 g fat (53 g saturated)
110 g protein
4,900 mg sodium

You know this burger’s in trouble when it takes more than 20 syllables just to identify it. If you think the name’s a mouthful, just wait until the burger hits the table. You’ll be face-to-face with two-and-a-half days’ worth of fat—a full third of which is saturated. To do that much damage with roasted sirloin, you’d have to eat about eight 6-ounce steaks. (It’s nearly three days’ worth of saturated fat.)

Keep eating these burgers, and guess what? You’re going to look like John Travolta in Hairspray.

Uno Chicago Grill Pizza Skins

2,400 calories
155 g fat (50 g saturated)
3,600 mg sodium

This appetizer is like eating a Large Domino’s Sausage Pizza. Would you ever think of saying to a waiter: “You know what? I’m hungry tonight. Let me get started with a large pizza and go heavy on the sausage.” If you’re ordering for a party of more than five, it might be OK, but for smaller groups, it’s tilting toward gluttony gone wild.

Keep eating these and you’re going to end up like the guy who is fat but wears the “I Beat Anorexia Shirt”. He does look happy though.

Macaroni Grill Spaghetti and Meatballs with Meat Sauce

2,430 calories
128 g fat
207 g carbohydrates
5,290 mg sodium

First off, I have to watch what I say here because my girlfriend works for Macaroni Grill, but Daaaaaamn! 2,400 calories? 128g of fat? For some pasta? That’s crazy.

Other things you could eat and still be as unhealthy as Macaroni Grill’s Spaghetti with Meatballs:
- 18 Twinkies
- 19 Ho Ho’s
- 16 Ounces(4 cups) of sausage gravy
- 3 Whoppers
- 19 strips of bacon
- 6 fried chicken breasts from KFC
If you kept eating plates of pasta from the Macaroni Grill, you’re probably going to look like a porked up version of Robert DeNiro as Jake La Motta in Raging Bull. That wasn’t a good look for him.

I have to add that you should keep eating at Macaroni Grill and tip your server well, especially if her name is Stephanie. Just try and order something besides the Spaghetti and Meatballs.

Outback Steak House Aussie Cheese Fries

2,900 calories
182 g fat
240 g carbs

This one really takes the cake. This tub of sludge is, according to Men’s Health magazine, the worst food in America. Just eating this one food item, which is listed as a starter, will fill your entire caloric intake for the day. During my research, I checked what the good folks over at Urban Dictionary had to say on the subject. Here’s what you get:

Cheesy Fries from Outback Steakhouse that when ordered xtra cheese extra bacon and honey mustard or ranch is an orgasm in the mouth along with a heart attack in one bite

Couldn’t sum it up any better than that. If you continue eating this “starter” you will end up like Manuel Uribe, who has the distinct honor of having his picture coming up first on Google Images when searching for “World’s Fattest Man”. He weighs 1,234 pounds. Holy jesus.
June 9, 2009
Epic Portions Does Taco Bell Headquarters

A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from a public relations firm inviting me to visit Taco Bell’s corporate headquarters and test kitchen to meet with the team that developed the Volcano Sauce and to tour their facilities. I immediately thought this was a cruel, sick joke until they actually sent me confirmation of my flight. I wasn’t sure what to think. Taco Bell wanted to fly me all the way to California, take me out to dinner, shack me up in a hotel for the night, then tour me through their corporate headquarters? That sounded great to me. I was in.

My first flight was a 39 minute flight from Detroit to Chicago in one of the smallest planes I have ever seen. After that, it was a straight shot from Chicago to the John Wayne Airport in Orange County. I hopped on the shuttle to the hotel and as we were pulling in, I noticed this corporate Mexican hacienda:

I kind of assumed Taco Bell’s corporate office would be an enormous building, but this was practically a city. What’s inside of the building, you ask? Well, lots and lots of Taco Bell. Seriously, Taco Bell is everywhere. It’s kind of surreal. All the workers I saw at lunch had Taco Bell bags filled with food. I figured they would want to venture out and eat something that doesn’t have to do with their daily work, but no. They all eat Taco Bell. Another thing that surprised me is that the majority of their workforce isn’t a bunch of grossly overweight slobs who pack on the calories from Grilled Stuffed Burritos and Crunch Wrap Supremes. Their employees seem to be young, in shape, and not bad looking at all. There’s even a workout facility on the main floor. While exercising after eating a full meal of Taco Bell is the closest thing to Hell that I can imagine, I was impressed. Oh Taco Bell, how you surprise me. It didn’t end there…

We started with a brief history of the company in the “history” room. This room consists of a time line of Taco Bell’s history, complete with food models of the different menu items served throughout the years. Taco Bell was started by a white guy named Señor Glen “Pancho” Bell in 1962 and began franchising the brand by 1964. I was surprised to learn that the brand was sold to PepsiCo in 1978 and combined with KFC and Pizza Hut to form the Yum! brand. That’s some serious cashflow right there.

We then moved on to to the test kitchen where all of the magic happens. This is the only test kitchen for Taco Bell in the entire country which surprised me a bit. This was a pretty large area, but the kitchen is basically set up like any Taco Bell you would normally visit. We met two women (remembering names is not one of my strong suits) who control most of the food and marketing innovation for the company. They walked us through the development of the volcano sauce and other temporary or test items. I’m not going to type out all the details, but I will tell you that a hell of a lot of thought goes into those tacos and burritos you eat.

They explained to us that the Volcano sauce was developed to appeal to people who like a little kick and people like me who enjoy a good burn. They tested many different ingredients including hot sauce, spicier meat and spicy cheese, but ended up going with the cheesy hot sauce. We didn’t get much insight on what actually goes into the sauce, but they did mention most of the heat comes from red jalapeno peppers. The Volcano sauce is a politely spicy nacho cheese which I previously thought was the fire sauce mixed with the nacho sauce. I stood corrected when they told us that the Volcano sauce is twice as hot as their fire sauce, which makes sense because Taco Bell’s fire sauce is about as hot as ketchup. You’ll want to just eat it as is because Taco Bell does not really offer anything hotter. I only wish they offered the sauce in a sauce pack. I’d be stocking up on them for eating at home.

Taco Bell has been introducing temporary items, what seems like monthly, for the past few years. This always struck me as a genius idea because if something really catches on they can make it a permanent menu item. They introduced the Crunch Wrap Supreme a while ago which seemed more like a bet between Taco Bell executives than an actual menu item.

“Greg, there’s no way people will eat a tortilla folded up with taco parts and nacho cheese inside of it”.

After becoming a hugely popular item, Taco Bell decided to keep it on the menu. Apparently this is the second most popular menu item now, only trailing the hard taco. This leads me to wonder what the hell is the matter with people? About a year ago the Volcano Taco came out to great reception from customers, including myself. For some reason, the Volcano sauce was removed and customers began doing what all betrayed consumers do now, the modern day version of taking it to the streets. They created Facebook groups. Needless to say, Taco Bell was forced to bring Volcano Sauce back as a permanent item.

You wouldn’t believe what Taco Bell tastes like when prepared by someone who knows what they’re doing. Gone was the one bite of too much meat, followed by a second bite of too much rice. Everything was evenly distributed and delicious. The new Volcano Double Beef Burrito is delicious, but I still think they should have used a red tortilla that closely resembles Ronald McDonald’s hair color. To top it off, we washed down the Volcano sauce with the new, delicious Pina Colada Frutista Freeze.

We were allowed to ask as many questions as we wanted, and got what seemed like honest answers.

Oh, and we got to make our own Taco Bell creations. Like an idiot I ate breakfast before the event, or I would have eaten through the entire test kitchen. Look out for the John Moors original Volcano Quesadilla. It might be the greatest Taco Bell food item ever.

All in all, the trip was a great time and I can’t thank Taco Bell enough for the opportunity. The Bell has always represented a delicious alternative to McDonalds and Burger King, so they will always have a place in my heart.

The Test Kitchen

Volcano Taco Tasting

Volcano Sauce

Volcano Double Beef Burrito

The Current Volcano Menu

Pina Colada Frutista Freeze

May 30, 2009