You are now free to call me a hypocrite.

A few months back, I wrote a post demanding that certain fast food establishments stop the production of random new items to draw attention to themselves. One of these included the new grilled chicken at KFC, which I believe I called “completely going against everything you served at KFC for the last 50 years.” Well, ever since I began seeing the commercials for their new Five Dollar Fill up Boxes, I have had great admiration for KFC because of their direct rip on Subway’s five dollar footlongs. I have new found respect for the Colonel, even though he’s been dead for years. Dead or alive, anyone who takes a dig at Subway is a friend of mine.

With this new admiration, I decided to pick up one of these boxes on the way home from work last night. If you haven’t seen the commercial which is aired non-stop on what seems like every single channel, the five dollar fill up box comes with a chicken option, a side of your choice, a biscuit, and a medium drink. I was surprised to find that there were several different options, including a two-piece meal, three Original Recipe Strips, a Twister Wrap, five Hot Wings or five Dipped Wings. For some reason, I decided to try the new grilled chicken. You are again free to call me a hypocrite. For my side I, of course, got the mashed taters. I’m just not down with cole slaw from KFC. Here’s what I got:

I was rather disappointed when I opened the box.  I was actually pretty disgusted.  The chicken looked pretty bare and didn’t look like it was going to fill me up at all.  Had KFC abused my new found trust?  Upon putting the pieces on a plate, I realized that the breast was actually a pretty good size hunk of meat. The wing could’ve been a little better, but the appearance of the chicken was much improved from my first glance:

The outside of the chicken was slightly crispy and the chicken had the same greasy texture as the original fried kind.  A paper towel was required to handle it, which is always a great sign.  I am usually a frequent adder of Frank’s Red Hot to most plain chicken I eat, but the grilled chicken didn’t even require any.  The meat was juicy, and the seasoning was tasty.  I wouldn’t call this the finest piece of chicken I’ve ever eaten, but it was a definite surprise.  The Taters?  Delicious as always.  I have to give KFC some props on this.  For 5 bucks, this is one hell of a deal.  I have to say I was satisfied with the size of the meal, and only had fruit snacks after, but that’s only because of my deep love affair with fruit snacks.

I would recommend you go and give one of these boxes a shot.  You may find yourself as surprised as I was.  Oh, and boo Subway.  Nasty.

I have to admit, during fourth season of The Next Food Network Star, Aaron McCargo Jr. was my favorite personality.  It might have had to more to do with my hatred of Lisa Garza, but he was the only contestant who I found to be somewhat likable.  I’m not sure if it was a “hey, I’m so bad I’m entertaining” kind of likability, but for some reason I was pulling for the guy to win.  Even when he introduced “Cookin With Big Daddy”, I thought it was a show that I could see myself watching from time to time.   Ever since then, I find myself wondering how this guy still has a weekly cooking show on the Food Network.  During the first season, it seemed as though Aaron, or should I say Big Daddy, was going to piss his pants every time the camera came on.  He talked too fast, he seemed nervous and inexperienced, and his English was terrible.  He frequently made remarks such as “Nows I’ma throw this here bacon inna bowl and it’s gon’ cook fast sizzle.”   He annoyingly talked about himself in the 3rd person (”Big Daddy marinades his meat for 2 days,” or “Big Daddy uses only the freshest cheeses”). Oh, and by the way, his food looked… not so good.  Even though it was obvious that the food cooked on certain shows was less than up to par, McCargo would take a taste and over exaggerate his opinion of the dish.  Usually something like, “DAMN, Big Daddy has cooked up da bomb and it just exploded in my mouth!”

Yo, this slop is Big Daddy's secret slop that will make you want to slap your Momma

Aaron McCargo has slowly faded into the background because he is a damn goof.  I feel bad saying it, but the guy’s cooking show needs to be taken off of the network.  Get him on a travel show or something.   That always seems to do the trick.  Stick him in an atmosphere where he can simply be himself.  Give him a show where he has the least amount of scripted lines as possible and can just eat food and say how good it is.  The man worked in a hospital kitchen.  He’s not a source of culinary greatness.  Did anyone watch Guy’s Big Bite before Diners Drive-Ins and Dives caught fire?  No, he was simply that stupid looking blond guy who won the second season of The Next Food Network Star.  I don’t believe the problem is with good ol’ Big Daddy.  I think the problem is with whoever is producing the show, most likely that crazy Australian, Gordon Elliott.   The dude is likable and people can identify with him.  He may not be the greatest cook in the world, but he brings some personality to the table and has the potential to make simple dishes that anyone could prepare.  A male version of Rachel Ray, if you will(gag).

This tenderloin is da BOMB! You gonna want what I got, America!

I would like to point out that the Big Daddy has his own blog on Blogspot.com, because nothing says professional like Blogspot.com.  No offense to anyone on Blogspot, but you would think Aaron could afford to host this blog on his own site.  Better yet, his tag line is “Let’s all take a ride on the McCargo express!”.  It’s impossible to tell which entries are actually written by McCargo, because he constantly refers to himself in the third person, “Hey, Big Daddy’s on Regis and Kelly Lee today ya’ll, give it a watch and eat the food that I cook.  This is Big Daddy’s Kitchen.  Cookin’ with my BOYZ”.

In summary, Aaron McCargo has potential which is why they chose him over those other douches on the fourth season of The Next Food Network Star.  He’s just being severly mismanaged.  Being the food production genius that I am, I felt the need to point this out.  I hope you will agree with me and immedietly send letters to your local representative and demand Aaron McCargo Jr. be given a traveling show.  It’s the best for everyone.