Wendy’s Boneless Wings

John June 30, 2009

One of the first posts I did on this blog was one dedicated to my hatred of boneless chicken wings. I got a reply from a “sgh”, stating I did not know what I was talking about:

From: sgh

Comment:

You might want to go talk with your sources about what a Boneless Wing is made of. Real boneless wings are made from 100% all white meat chicken – the breast. Some lower quality products – aka Nuggets – are made from grinding meat.

Try the new Wendy’s Boneless Wings. They will be in store in the next couple of weeks. When you bite into them you will see that they look like the meat from a breast or their premium chicken sandwiches.

I decided to visit the nearest Wendy’s location to give them a try. I went with the bold buffalo flavored variety, because buffalo sauce is one of my favorite things in the world. What I found out was that these “premium” boneless wings were $3.99. For real? I can get McNuggets down the road for .99 cents and spin them in home made buffalo sauce for free. Add in a chicken sandwich and a large cherry coke, and you’ve got yourself the shittiest $10 lunch in the history of shitty $10 lunches. I can’t be spending $10 bucks on lunch. Who am I? Bill Gates? No, I’m a struggling student that likes to eat, damnit.

What I got were several chunks of average tasting chicken shaken in an average tasting buffalo sauce. When think of buffalo sauce, I think of a mixture of red hot sauce and butter. A delicious heavenly concoction. Wendy’s version of the sauce is more of a syrupy consistency, with not a whole lot of tang. The taste is more sweet than spicy. I counted 5 above averages sized pieces of chicken, and 4 very small sizes. Oh, and no bleu cheese dipping sauce? What a crime.

In response to sgh, I spoke to my sources and they told me that Wendy’s boneless wings suck. Maybe if they were a buck and some change my expectations wouldn’t be so high but for $3.99 I want some seriously good chicken, not a bunch of average pieces of chicken tossed around in a syrupy artificially flavored sauce. I felt like Dave Thomas reached down from heaven and slapped me in the face.

Epic Portions does not reccomend Wendy’s boneless wings. In fact, we think they are terrible.

Atwater Brewery – Dirty Blonde

admin June 29, 2009

Beer/Drinks

beer, detroit

From the desks of Simon-in-five-TV…

While “batching it” this past weekend I had a chance to pop into the Atwater Brewery in Detroit at 237 Jos Campau…almost to the river off Jefferson just a couple of blocks north of downtown proper and across from the Ratlesnake club. Besides being in the gritty warehouse district, this hometown gem of a micro-brewery is in a very cool old building and is quite an experience…very cool. They have many seasonal choices as well as their normal offerings but I elected to go with my fave, Dirty Blonde…imagine that!!

This beer is one of the seasonals and is made with unmalted wheat, coriander and orange peel…not having the pallet of a micro-brew-geek I cannot say I would be able to identify these ingredients by drinking it, but this beer is fantastic. It kind of makes Oberon sit back and wish it was born in the City of Detroit!…oooooh, no I didn’t!!

I think beer is meant to be tasted not only by the mouth but also by the location and the company you are in…in this case I was enjoying a bit of peace by myself, talking some smack with the bartender and just taking in the history of the area. That said, that one pint of summertime in a glass was worth the stop…you won’t be disappointed.

Egg Cuddled in Bacon, Cheese & Sausage

John June 29, 2009

Fat Foods

bacon, eggs, fat

Sometimes I actually do love my readers.

Over the weekend I was contacted by a young lady by the name of Varta, whose hobbies include making some of the most incredibly gluttonous food I have ever seen. Apparently thisiswhyyourefat.com(no link here a-holes) has decided to not post good content anymore, because they completely neglected her submissions. I felt it was the right thing to do to get her gluttonous cooking up here as quickly as possible, because that’s what Epic Portions is all about. The right thing to do. You can always count on us… Anyways…

The first thing I want to share with you is this a hard boiled egg wrapped in bacon, surrounded by cheese, and “cuddled” in spicy sausage. This literally makes me want to do naughty things to my monitor.

Thanks to Varta for allowing me to share this with you, and actually making this thing. This took a lot of genius.

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