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Epic Portions — …I see food and I eat it. — Page 77

Immigration: A Food Lover’s Perspective

Randoms

Bring me your naan, your guacamole, your kebobs yearning to be eaten

There will always be political issues and debates that divide Americans.  Rarely is there a subject that the food lovers among us can weigh in with a credible and unique argument.  Food has no direct relationship with tax rates or defense spending.  But there is one hot-button political issue that should be near and dear to the hearts of all Americans who love good food.  Immigration.

There can be no debate as to whether an open immigration policy has been beneficial to the American culinary landscape.  If I have my way, we will change the first part of the inscription on the Statue of Liberty to read:

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free and share the cuisine of their native country”

Many immigrants come to the United States to engage in the noble entrepreneurial exercise of opening a restaurant.  And we as a nation are better for it.  Within a 15 minute drive from my house, I can enjoy authentic Indian, Thai, Chinese (which includes many delicious subgroups like Cantonese or Szechwan), Ethiopian, Greek, Japanese, Jamaican, Vietnamese, Middle East (too many and too various in this area to break down by nation of origin), or Korean cuisine.  Some parts of the country can boast more, some have less, but odds are if you live near a decent sized metropolis or college town you have similar choices as well.  Quite often these places are a “hole in the wall,” but they serve succulent, freshly prepared meals that enrich our gastronomic existence.

Still not convinced?  That’s ok because there is another side of this coin.  Many fine dining establishments are not owned by immigrants, but their presence is essential to the successful and high quality operation that exists within their kitchens.

Many years ago, I worked at one such establishment as a bartender.  I won’t mention it by name, but it is a well regarded Italian restaurant on Main Street in downtown Ann Arbor.  One of my first shifts, I was working on a Friday morning and a member of the kitchen staff came to the bar to ask me to make the espresso/kahlua mix needed for tiramisu.  I was somewhat taken aback when I realized the person barely spoke any English.  Not a problem, we figured it out and soon I was getting to know the kitchen staff, the majority of whom were from Mexico or Latin American points nearby.  The chef spoke fluent Spanish and the kitchen ran like clockwork.

If you think that is unique, you are wrong.  Bartenders and wait staff like to drink together after work, and it took minimal inquiry on my part to learn that the presence of immigrants working in the kitchen was the norm for most restaurants.

Did we speculate as to their legality or status?  Hell no, we didn’t give a damn.  They worked hard, were professional and got the food up for service to the ravenous public in a timely manner.  It was a fun environment, I spoke next to no Spanish but could still understand when being hazed or ribbed by the kitchen staff.  For obvious reasons bartenders and cooks have a natural symbiotic relationship, and as a bartender I had some liberty when giving it back.

To some, the arguments I have presented will not be appreciated.  If they would rather eat at the slice of Americana known as Applebee’s than they can go right ahead.  For me, and I submit for most food lovers real Americana is at the table of a local dive, run by someone who speaks broken English, works 12 hours a day six or seven days a week, and makes a mean tamale or authentic shawarma.

Throughout history, the sharing of a meal has been a way of bridging the gap between cultures.  I for one consider myself fortunate to live in a country that has (for the most part) encouraged people from all over the world to come to the United States and try to create a better life for themselves.  All it takes is an open mind and an empty stomach to realize that having a minor language gap is a small price to pay for a great meal made with earnest pride.  I will leave the demagoguery of this issue to the usual suspects.  If you want to get worked up about immigration, it is your right, but I won’t join you.  I’ll probably be picking up Indian takeout.

Famous Bowls – Beautiful Slop

Fast Food, Food Reviews

A lot of people wonder why I like food so much but still continue to frequent fast food restaurants.  People even question my taste in food because of it.  The truth is, fast food tastes good.  It’s designed and processed that way.  If you don’t like fast food, is probably because you’re smart enough to realize that the reason it tastes good is the same reason it’s terrible for you.  Then again, I know that good and well but still need to get my fix every once in a while.  There’s just a few things that I could never go without.  On that list is KFC’s Famous Bowl.

The Famous Bowl isn’t new or relevant to anything, I just love Famous Bowls.  I know, to some people, it’s the most disgusting fast food combination ever created, but to me it’s perfection.  I’m one of those people that combines their entire Thanksgiving dinner into one pile until it resembles something that they would serve in prison.  The mixture of mashed potatoes, turkey, stuffing, gravy,and corn makes my Thanksgiving every year.  Apparently someone at KFC used this same mixture method and decided to apply it to their menu.  Good man.

It was a basic concept to combine mashed potatoes, gravy, and chicken.  Who hasn’t mixed their chicken with their mashed potatoes before?  They took this a step further adding corn and just got absolutely ridiculous by topping the entire thing with cheese.  Whose idea was it to top this heart attack bowl with cheese?  Whoever you are, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.  You deserve a medal.

The Famous Bowl tops out with 740 calories, 31 grams of fat and 9 grams of saturated fat, 2110 mg sodium.  If you’re on a 2,000 calorie diet the bowl provides you with a third of your calories, 47% of your fat and 45% of your saturated fats, and 87% of your sodium.  That’s not irresponsible, that’s a bargain.

So to the people who think it’s ridiculous that I like Famous Bowls while giving my opinion on more “respectable” cuisine, I completely agree with you.  There’s just something about this mess of slop that I have to have.

On a completely random note, skip to the .52 second mark on this video for more on prison slop.  Or just watch the whole thing for comedic greatness.

A Birthday Present for the EP folks

Randoms

So John and I both have our birthdays coming up, and my lovely roommate suggested the perfect present.  That’s right.  A Gallon Jug of Tabasco, printed all special-like with a personalized label.

I would bring this with me to dinner parties, just in case they didn't have any hot sauce. I would also refuse to share.

Between us, I honestly don’t even really like Tabasco.  Franks, Clancy’s Fancy, Sriracha, and Cholula stole my heart years ago.  However, the Habanero and smoky Chipotle versions are good and the sheer size of this hot sauce bears respect.

So.  To summarize.  I certainly would love to have this hot sauce on my shelf!  Hint hint!


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