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Epic Portions — …I see food and I eat it. — Page 97

Chopped

Randoms, Rants

The new season of Chopped debuts on Food Network next week, and if you haven’t seen this culinary competition before, despite its short comings it is fine entertainment on most nights. The premise of the show is intriguing; hosted by uber-nerd Ted Allen, Chopped has four chefs competing for $10,000 by having what is in essence a cook-off in three rounds, appetizer, entrée and dessert. The contestants are usually pretty skilled and handle themselves well. Occasionally one of the typical emotional basket cases that seem to populate reality TV sneaks in, but overall I have been impressed with the caliber of the contestants. This is mostly because the trick of the show is that in each round a basket is presented with ingredients that must be used in the dish. This can be great fun, watching some obsessive-compulsive chef who is used to running a restaurant try to make an appetizer out of unsweetened chocolate, jumbo prawns, and clamato never loses its appeal.

What makes Chopped annoying is the judges. Each one tends to be overly dramatic in their criticism, and their outrage is usually disproportionate to the crime. They have the same level of anger towards someone who double dips their finger in the sauce or serves a dangerously undercooked turkey dish as they do the person who fails to coherently make gummy bear encrusted chicken. A typical comment will be something like this: “I would be ashamed to serve this gummy bear encrusted chicken if it were my restaurant.” You don’t say. Perhaps you should get up and try your hand at it. I’ve seen Aaron Sanchez on Chefs vs. City. He seems to spend half the show running around, I don’t seem to recall him being presented with a basket containing starfruit, ostrich, and instant grits and being forced to make something delicious.

One of the worst of the judges is Alex Guarnaschelli. Below is a photo:

While I’m certain that in life Ms. Guarnaschelli is a fine human being, she comes across particularly shrill. You would think she would have a word with the editors and ask that they not make her look like a complete bitch every show. The funniest part about this is that now Ms. Guarnaschelli has her own show, Alex’s Day Off. I have a great idea for an episode, someone should drop off a basket containing plantains, frozen scallops and Cheese-Its and then berate her for coming up with a less than perfect dish.

Will the annoying judges be toned down next season? Who knows, odds are Food Network will find a way to botch it even more, or have some stupid event where Bobby Flay takes on pastry chefs and the basket coincidentally contains ancho chilies, Kobe beef and fingerling potatoes. I will still check out the newest episodes and see if Chopped remains worthwhile viewing. I sure hope so, Food Network is becoming unwatchable, and Chopped is hanging under the cleaver itself.

Jerusalem Garden – Ann Arbor, MI

Ann Arbor, Food Reviews

When I was a kid, I wouldn’t go anywhere near vegetables.  The closest I would go was corn.  My Mother would try to get me to eat ANY sort of vegetable product, but it never worked.  I’m lucky I never got gout or some kind of vegetable deficiency disorder.  My Mother and I always went to Ann Arbor for my guitar lessons or just to walk around, and she always tried to convince me to try a restaurant called Jerusalem Garden.  This place was seriously anti-John.  Middle Eastern food?  No, thanks.  Vegetables?  No way.  I guaranteed her I would never allow myself to be subjected to such craziness.  Somehow, one day, she convinced me to go in and give it a try.  I can’t thank her enough for her persistence.  I ordered a falafel with hummus minus the lettuce and tomatoes.  The waiter gave me an odd look but fulfilled my request.  Later on he asked my Mom if I knew what I was eating and she almost slapped him.  The site of me eating vegetables was a beautiful one for her.  Especially since I was enjoying them so much.

Jerusalem Garden is easily my favorite food venue in Ann Arbor.  Their price, quality, quantity, and service is unmatched.   It is always my first destination when showing a friend around Ann Arbor and no one has ever had any complaints.  Jerusalem Garden isn’t just the oldest Middle Eastern restaurant in Ann Arbor, it’s also easily the best.  Anyone who lives in this area and appreciates Middle Eastern food will tell you this.  Even people who typically shy away from these types of food can enjoy it.  This is one of those great hole in the wall type places that help make the Ann Arbor food scene better.

Until a few years ago, the restaurant only fit about 10 or so customers.  Your choices were to wait for a seat, or take your sandwich with you as you walk around the city.  The front dining room is only a few feet deep, so after coming in the door you squeeze between the people at the counter and the front window and make your way to the empty stool, which is usually the far one. If you sit there at the front counter you can watch the counter-cultural cooks fry falafel and grill meat for the sandwiches.  In the back dining room there are maybe four small tables, which are better if you come with a group of three or more.  If you’re going to be eating there and weather permits, take a seat on the outside patio.  One of the best experiences you can possibly have in Ann Arbor is a lunch at Jerusalem Garden on their patio.  Perfect place to relax or just people watch.


Jerusalem Garden’s food is very different than the traditional style of other Middle Eastern restaurants.  The meat isn’t skewered but grilled, giving their chicken and beef a different texture.   Any dish offers a distinctive take on familiar Middle Eastern foods.  The food isn’t particularly authentic, but everything is very tasty.  As I have experienced more Middle Eastern food, I have learned that there are multiple kinds of falafel in the world, but I will always have a loyalty to Jereselum Garden’s.  Mainly becauase it’s the best.  They are quite large, crispy on the outside, and flavorful and a little spicy on the inside.  I’m completely serious when I say that access to these falafel sandwiches is one of the best parts about living in Ann Arbor.  The hummus is delicious and well balanced, with the perfect amount of lemon.  I used to buy hummus from them, but it got to the point where I would buy three or four falafel sandwiches every time I would go to buy it and dip them into the hummus.  Delicious, but a little ridiculous.


I’ve not too often that I get myself to order anything besides the falafel sandwich with hummus, but the chicken shawarma is also one of the best I’ve had.  You can watch the cooks grill your chicken right in front of you, and whatever they marinate it with.. Well.. I’m thinking about breaking in and stealing the recipe.  The combo plates are not as cheap as the sandwiches($9-$10), but come with a very reasonable amount of food.  I will say that the perfect way to start any meal here is a bowl of their crushed lentil soup.  I’ve only had better lentil soup at one restaurant, and it cost about the same as an entire meal costs at Jerusalem Garden.

If you’re ever visiting the Ann Arbor area, or live there and for some reason haven’t been, stop in for a visit.  It’s the epitome of what Ann Arbor used to be, and is truly one of the best stops in the city.  It’s one of a kind, and is going to be one of the things I miss the most if I am ever forced to relocate.

Jerusalem Garden on Urbanspoon

Masa 14 – Washington, DC

Uncategorized

I wasn’t sure what to expect from Masa 14. It seemed to whisper, “you’re not cool enough, keep on walking” the few times I walked past. I was richly rewarded for looking beyond this facade. What I found inside was a friendly and unpretentious atmosphere. It was very crowded for a post-happy hour Monday night- packed with small groups and people on dates.

My bartender mixed a strong, very good grey goose and soda, but I was disappointed by the encore (rail) vodka and soda that was fairly weak and dominated by a heaping pile of ice.

We ordered a variety of tapas, which were almost all absolute winners:

  1. Tuna ceviche- tangy sauce, soft tuna that melted in your mouth
  2. Tuna flat bread- thin slices of smooth tuna draped over flatbread nicely complimented by acidic greens
  3. Calimari- not too chewy or greasy, attributes that are hard to find
  4. Shrimp- my boss liked it
  5. Tomato soup- strong, smokey flavor…very good soup
  6. Green curry- liked the potato and spinach accompaniment more than the chicken, which was not too memorable

My boss picked up the tab so cost was not really an issue for me. Let’s just say that Masa 14 is definitely not a cheap date, but it is worth your investment.

Overall, the food was fantastic and the atmosphere was sophisticated, yet relaxed and friendly.

Masa 14
1825 14th St NW
Washington, DC 20009
Cuisine: Asian Fusion
Rating: 4 Stars

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