Epic Portions

Tag: ridiculous

  • Epic Portions = Taco Bell Complaint Site

    I got this e-mail from someone who apparently had a bad experience at Taco Bell, and for some reason thought “Epic Portions” really means Taco Bell Corporate Complain Hot line.  I have no idea if it’s even legal to post this, but it’s so damn funny that I don’t care.  As someone who has worked in retail for years, stupid customers are always amusing to me. Oh, but apparently I was the stupid one here. Read on..

    From: Donald W. Hull
To: john@epicportions.com
Subject: health violations
Sent: Jun 11, 2009 10:05 AM

On June 10, 2009, approximately 9:15 pm, an employee at the taco bell 3rd street 
and Mcdowell, phx az, was seen slumped over a meal in preparation, apparently
spitting, in the persons food, MINE, due to the fact that the food was prepared
improperly the first time, (this is a common occurance in this store), I was
polite and asked for the order to be made to what was ordered (3 1/2 buritos)
and what was brought to me was less than half of what I had paid for.  I am
reporting this to bbb, and the health department has been notified as well.  I
have been an avid consumer of taco bell, and now want nothing to do with your
company and wish that every penny that has ever been spent in the establishments
would be returned for the incompetance of your people......

From: John Moors <john@epicportions.com>
To: Donald W. Hull
Sent: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:10 am
Subject: Re: health violations

I don't know what you're thinking but I don't have any affiliation with Taco
Bell.  I am truly sorry these unfortunate events have happened to you. 

From: Donald W. Hull
To: John Moors <john@epicportions.com>
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:25 AM
Subject: Re: health violations

I guess I got the wrong site, which health department do I report this incident to?

From: John Moors <john@epicportions.com>
To: Donald W. Hull
Sent: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:35 am
Subject: Re: health violations

I would highly recommend you contact your local authorities because of the severity
of this situation.  Spitting in food is unnaceptable and you should contact an
attorney to begin litigation proceedings.

By the way, what the hell is a half of a burrito?

From: Donald W. Hull
To: John Moors <john@epicportions.com>
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 10:45 AM
Subject: Re: health violations

you know the difference between an 89cent burito and a half pound burito right?!
    
			
    
		
    
		
	
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    Ms. Peachez Fried Chicken
    
			
    Quite possibly one of the funniest(creepiest) videos I have ever seen.  I came across this video on Youtube a few years ago, but it never blew up for some reason.  I just saw it again and thought it deserved the attention of any and everyone who reads this blog.  I’m still trying to figure out who allowed their kids to be apart of this.
    

    

    If you can actually follow along with the lyrics, here are a few genius lines.  As Kenny Bania would say.. It’s gold, Jerry, gold!
    

    “Imma Warn You Now Baby Here’s The Deal.  One Piece Of My Chicken You Can Call Dr. Phil”
    

    “Now where my hot sauce I don’t want no catsup.  Just one big juicy jalapeno pepper”
    

    
			
    
		
    
		
	
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    Bacon Vodka Shot
    
			
    We manned up last night and decided to take down a shot of the bacon vodka that had been marinating for a week.  We didn’t want to just take a shot though, so we created the proper way to do so.  A bite of orange, shot of bacon vodka, followed by a bite of french toast.  Not bad at all.  The next plan is to do a bacon vodka bomb with maple syrup.