It’s been a while, but I’m ready to rant. In case you are late to the party, you probably know I’m a stay at home Dad. I deserve no accolades for taking care of my own children, nor is what I do the most important job in the world. I wish people would spare me the condescension. Another thing I can do without is the constant Mommy worship that goes unfettered, while Dads are usually portrayed as buffoonish, bumbling morons. Just in case you didn’t know, there are some pretty shitty Moms out there. Whether or not you think Casey Anthony is guilty of murder, there is evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that she was a shitty Mom.
How does this tie in to food? I am sick the fuck of the Mom oriented food marketing that passes off as acceptable advertising. Don Draper would be rolling over is his grave because of this shit. Choosy Mom’s choose Jif? Way to piss off half the population, Jif. Choosy Dads say go fuck yourself and buy something else. Robitussin is recommended by Dr. Mom? Tell Dr. Mom she can prescribe me some Xanax and keep her crappy cough syrup to her self.
But today, while I was shopping at Plum Market, the worst offender was staring me right in the face—a cereal called Mom’s Best. Mom’s Best is one of these “we save the earth” companies that get all wet and tingly because their executive washroom is powered by officiousness. I don’t appreciate the name of their company. Mom’s Best? It doesn’t even properly apply to cereal…
I mean, Mom’s Best cornbread? Sure. Mom’s Best fried chicken? Sign me up. But cereal? Does anyone have memories of their Mom making cereal? If anyone reading this has one single memory of their Mom making cereal for the family, please let me know. My Mom made all kinds of remarkably delicious breakfast treats. Mom’s Best French toast, Mom’s Best omelets, Mom’s Best crispy bacon on the griddle. Mmmmmmm, crispy bacon on the griddle…
So, while Mom’s Best may make a fine cereal, you can be damn sure that this Dad will be leaving it on the shelf. If I want to feel smug about my cereal purchases, I’ll buy Kashi from now on.
Of course, maybe I’m looking at this from the wrong angle. Perhaps it is time for a line of Dad’s Best products. Dad’s Best whiskey. Dad’s Best potato chips. My personal favorite would be Dad’s Best Pregenancy Tests. If the man is smiling, you aren’t pregnant.
Comments
6 responses to “Mommy Marketing, A Rant”
The problem is, you’re a statistical minority. The thing with marketing & advertising is that “everybody” is not a demographic group. You have to pick. Sure, it could say “choosy parents choose jif” but this isn’t about the ‘Everybody is included’ group. Sometimes we buy things that aren’t marketed towards us. Yes, you buy peanut butter. The thing is, a lot less Dads to the grocery shopping than Moms do. I buy plenty of things that aren’t marketed towards me — I do the grocery shopping for the 3 people that live in my apartment. We’re all in our mid twenties. I’m not pissed off that Jif peanut butter says “Choosy Moms” — why doesn’t it say “Choosy 20-somethings shopping for their roommates and/or boyfriends choose Jif?” Because I’m not the largest demographic group that buys Jif peanut butter. Neither are you. You’re an outlier. It’s not meant to offend you or exclude you. Everything isn’t intended for you as a consumer, though. If you don’t like the marketing or advertising (they’re very different – and what you’re talking about is marketing. Don Draper was in advertising, so he’s probably doing A-OK in his grave right now), you’re probably just not the target audience.
Also: Dad’s Cookies and Dad’s Rootbeer, off the top of my head.
Now you know how I feel when I look at those Hardee’s and GoDaddy commercials. Instead of using words to appeal to their demographic they use barely clothed models, beauty queens, and celebrities in suggestive situations. None of these companies will ever have a customer in me. Frankly, I think I would be less offended with the words. Also, men as stay at home parents are often held higher. They may be bufoonish, but they are also portrayed as being loving and well intentioned.
It’s good to know that, regardless of gender, “that time of the month” has not missed your house….
Whew! I hadn’t read a rant from you in a while and was relieved to see one! I, for one, support you Jeremy. Down with the maternal hegemony! Additionally, what the previous commentors seem to miss is that it is the advertisers that are shaping the “barefoot and pregnant” stereotype. One might argue that advertisement in this country is the repository of culture and these businesses should be held responsible for their influence…..fuck Jiff!
HAHAHA I totally agree with you! Even as a child when I would watch those stupid Jif commercials I would be like “what about my DAD?” We always bought Skippy brand anyway.
Oh, and the pregnancy test idea was the absolutely funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Sounds like an awesome idea to me!!!
No, my mother never made cereal, but my father, being Swiss made Birchermüesli for us numerous times. Take that “Mom’s Best”.