Epic Portions

Author: Todd

  • Worst Shots Ever – Mulligan’s Bar and Restaurant – Cheboygan, MI

    Oh lordie. It’s not every day that you come across the type of sadistically creative brainpower necessary to craft really, really bad drinks. Then came the good folks at Mulligan’s – an up-beat bar and grill in the small, northern Michigan town of Cheboygan (Pop. 5,295).

    Not good at golf? Don’t want to play but miss the embarrassment, anger and lighter wallet that comes with shooting a crappy round?   Then follow the wisdom of Golf Legend John Daly, and head on over to Mulligan’s and take a whole bunch of shots. The following is quoted directly from the menu.  Trust me, I could (and would) never expose the world to these kind of alcoholic travesties [and awful innuendo]:

    Here’s 18 punishing shots for all 18 gruesome holes.

    #1 Mulligan: Gin, cream and a pickled jalapeño. Hey…we saw that. Try again.
    #2 In the Woods: Peach Schnapps & ketchup. Forget finding your ball…find a toilet.
    #3 Duck Hook: Jaegermeister & warm olive juice. You’ll be veering left too…righty.
    #4 Wiffer: Coconut rum & Tabasco. The penalty for missing altogether.
    #5 Wrong Hole: Kahlua & Mountain Dew. It’s green, but the wrong green.
    #6 Sand Trap: Salt, pepper & scotch. Gritty…and you’ll regret it.
    #7 Water Hazard: Just water. Or is it? Take a drop.
    #8 Beaver Divot: Crème de Cacao & tomato juice. Remember to replace it.
    #9 The Shank: Beer, wine and milk. Your shot was bad. This one’s worse.
    #10 Stinger: Rumplemintz and clam juice. Ouch…that hurt.
    #11 In and Out: Bitters and Kahlua. Almost…keep it in the hole here.
    #12 FORE!!!: The house’s secret recipe. Watch out!…and sign the release form.
    #13 Worm Burner: Cinnamon Schnapps & Bloody Mary Mix. Need more loft?
    #14 Triple Bogey: Three ingredients the bartender picks. It pays to tip well.
    #15 Tree Knocker: Dry Vermouth and Apple Pucker. Don’t say you meant to do that.
    #16 Snowman: Grapefruit juice, bitters and Jaegermeister. Great #%$~ shot!
    #17 Fried Egg: Milk, 151, and 99 Bananas…Make sure you follow though!
    #18 The 18th Hole: Hot Sauce & Galliano. You’ve choked on the last 17, why stop now?

    Our suggestion? Instead of wagering your hard earned money at the links, come to Mulligan’s and
    make your buddies pay for losing in a whole new way.   Shoot all 18 and get your
    free Bad Shot glass, a Mulligan’s Bad Shot shirt, and you become a Mulligans Legend!

    Now – all shots are $2.50 according to the menu.  Question – $2.50 each, or $2.50 for all of them..together?  How much would you pay for this kind of pain?

    Mulligan’s
    320 North Main Street
    Cheboygan, MI 49721
    231-627-2459
    http://www.goodfoodbadshots.com/

  • Putting the ‘Phu’ in FUN!

    If you don’t love Phu, then you either 1) haven’t heard of it, 2) are allergic, or 3) need to get your freakin’ priorities in order.  Phu (pronounced “Fuh,” rhyming with “Uhh…this is goddamn delicious!”) is a vietnamese beef broth soup served piping hot, which contains thinly sliced meat and rice noodles.   The meat selection (not necessarily always beef) usually includes your choice of brisket, flank steak, eye-round steak, and tripe, as well as knuckle, cartilage, and other interesting cow bits. The Phu in the photos here included flank steak and brisket, and came with a giant basket of fresh basil, lime, jalapeno peppers, and sprouts (the big ones you often find in pad thai).  Oh yeah – and fish sauce and Sriracha – choose your destiny.

    Brisket and Flank steak Phu. The runny nose soup. HOT HOT HOT!

    Sriracha and Jalapenos, oh my!
    Sriracha and Jalapenos, oh my!

    One note – this is the REGULAR size bowl.  I miserably failed previous attempts to take out the big bowl.

    Defeated. Tears for two more days.
    Defeated. Tears for two more days.

    However, in my own defense – I watched two big fat business men also fail to demolish the biggun – and they didn’t even add the heat!  Made me feel better. Make sure to observe all those Jalapenos and note that I put half a bottle of sriracha.  The remaining Phu was good for another tear-filled lunch and a half.  Did I mention all of this was $5.50?

  • A Little ‘In-Flite’ Entertainment

    Long live the micro/craft-brew! Huzzah!
    Long live the micro/craft-brew! Huzzah!

    I’ve long been a big fan of expanding my beer horizons (‘beerizons’).  Tasting a new beer that leaves an impression always seems to make my night.  Living in North Carolina, I’ve grown accustomed to the Beer Flite – a sampler of selected brews that 1) always seems to be served on some sort of paddle, and 2) are usually served in little pint glasses that make me feel like a giant!

    Paddle? Check. Tiny glasses? Check. Urge to chug a porter? Check...
    Paddle? Check. Tiny glasses? Check. Urge to chug a porter? Check… Beautiful flite constructed by yours truly at Crane Alley in Urbana, IL
    Flites done right! A glorious menu from Tyler's in Durham, NC
    Flites done right! A glorious menu from Tyler's in Durham, NC
    ...and when it's all done - you can start in on the big boys. That giant feeling goes away pretty quick, though!
    …and when it's all done – you can start in on the big boys. That giant feeling goes away pretty quick, though!

    Tyler’s Restaurant & Taproom
    324 Blackwell St # 400
    Durham, NC 27701
    919.433.0345

    Crane Alley
    115 W Main St
    Urbana, IL 61801
    217.384.7526