Tribute to the Spork

John March 3, 2009

Randoms

random

I often wonder why the spork isn’t a more utilized tool of eating. This hybrid utensil acts as a fork and a spoon, allowing you to not only stab and pick up your food, but shovel it as well. Last time I checked, the spork really wasn’t getting the respect it deserves. Because of this, I decided to pay a tribute to this seldom used utensil. Whether used as a marvelous eating utensil, a cult worship figure, or even decoration, the spork has brought joy to countless lives.

History of the Spork

Sporks have been manufactured since the late 1800s. The word spork origiseveral years later.nated in the early 1900s to describe hybrid devices that were being developed to act as both a spoon and a fork.
The first known spork was patented by George Laramy of Enfield, New Hampshire in 1907. He was a pioneer, and is now know as the pioneer and founder of the spork.
According to a 1952 New York Times article, Hyde w. Ballard of Westtown Pennsylvania filed an application to register “Spork” as a trademark for a combination spoon and fork made of stainless steel. There is no record of this patent, however.
The Van Brode Miling Company registered “Spork” for a combination plastic spoon, fork, and knife but abandoned the registration

Where you Can Still Find Sporks

Various blessed school cafeterias
Taco Bell
Rally’s
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Popeye’s Fried Chicken
Your Local 7-11 retail market
QuickTrip Convenience Stores
Chick-Filet’s
Many Pre-Packaged Meals
Hardee’s
Lee’s Famous Recipie Chicken
Kenny Rodgers Roasters
Boston Market

Anatomy of the Spork

Cranial Fossa – Large depression which spans the cranium. In native habitats, this area is used to hold food for transportation
Rostral Processes – These projections extend from the cranium and act functionally as teeth, used to impale foods.
Canines – Sharp, cranial projections also known as tines which are used to impale foods.
Cranial Ridge – Ridge that makes up the lateral margins of the cranium
Neck – The tapering, most anterior portion of the trunk.
Dorsal Carina – Ridge that extends dorsally along the entire surface of the trunk.
Platysmal surfaces – Flat surfaces on either side of the dorsal carina.
Cercus – The posterior tip of the trunk.

How You Can Help Bring Sporks Back

Wear a spork shirt – http://www.zazzle.com/the_spork_shirt-235785667947487571

Stock your home with titanium sporks – http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/8ace/

Spork bumper stickers – http://bumperstickers.cafepress.com/spork

Arby’s Roastburger

John March 3, 2009

Fast Food, Food Reviews

arbys

Without a clue what I wanted for lunch today, I came upon Arby’s on Washtenaw Ave. I noticed advertisements all over for a “Roast Burger” which claims to be a burger done better. I was intrigued, since Arby’s usually offers up some pretty good, but expensive, food. I wasn’t even sure what they were, but a “first bite guarantee” was offered, so how could I lose?

Actually, the thought of returning a sandwich with one bite taken out of it is pretty stupid. So I had everything to lose. By everything, I mean 3 dollars and some change.

I chose the Bacon & Bleu Roastburger, which is Arby’s sliced roasted beef, pepper bacon, and bleu cheese spread.. Finished off with lettuce, tomato, and onion. This is all inside of a “toasted speciality roll”.

I have to admit, I actually expected there to be some form of hamburger patty somewhere. All I found was Arby’s normal roast beef. While delicious, this was a bit disappointing, since it was advertised as a burger. The bun was more impressive than a normal’s Arby’s sandwich, or any fast food burger than you can get. If there was a hamburger patty in the middle the bun, I would have been a lot more impressed.

After putting the RoastBurger out of the box and opening it up for a look, and I was extremely disappointed. The peppercorn bacon was two(TWO??????) small strips of obviously pre-cooked bacon, a small amount of the bleu cheese dressing, a little pile of the sliced roast beef, and the vegetables slopped on the bun. As you can see, the sandwich wasn’t very appetizing.

There’s your final look. Not quite a masterpiece. As far as taste is concerned, it was rather average. The bun was good and the roast beef was the same it always is. The most impressive thing about the sandwich was the bleu cheese sauce, which was lacking on my sandwich. The sauce was a little strong, so I think asking for extra sauce would overwhelm the sandwich.

Overall, I would not recommend getting Arby’s Roastburger.

Stick with the basics. Just get an Arby melt.

Bob Evans Sausage Gravy Dispenser

John March 2, 2009

Fat Foods

fat

A week or two ago I posted this picture of a Bob Evans sausage gravy dispenser, thinking that it was a one of a kind thing; a dream that could never become reality. Little did I know, you can buy the damn things directly from the company. Reading the website brought tears to my eyes.

“Bob Evans has been making classic sausage gravy for more than 30 years. It is ready to eat and not a concentrate, so you’ll have consistent quality and flavor batch after batch.

New in 2008 is our Sausage Gravy Dispenser that dispenses hot Bob Evans sausage gravy at the touch of a button. This machine uses our convenient dispenser pack Sausage Gravy, #4385.

It is simple to set up and makes it possible for your customers to enjoy high-quality Bob Evans sausage gravy served over buttermilk biscuits in a quick and easy way.”

http://www.bobevansfoodservice.com/

If anyone feels like donating one of these to the Make John Moors’ Dream Come True Foundation, let me know. It would be a great opportunity for a tax write off.

..And by the way, what makes Bob Evans think I would use this for customers? I wouldn’t use this for any damn customers. This would be for me, and only me.

Thanks to Stephanie for discovering this dream was actually possible.

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