Epic Portions

Tag: food

  • Fourth of July Musings

    Is there anything worse than spam?  Be it the culinary version, or the kind that has been assaulting EP, few things are more loathsome than spam.  On that note, our comment feature has been modified for the time being.  It seems our spam filter is having problems because insurance, cialis, and whatever other crap the moronic spammers are into these days have been getting through.  Until we get this figured out, all comments go to us for approval.  I want to reiterate to all EP readers, we do not believe in censorship.  We will approve every legitimate comment that goes through.  If you doubt this, check out comments on our posts.  We have been verbally assaulted on more occasions than I can remember.  And not just from the Guy Fieri mafia.  Hopefully this minor inconvenience will be rectified soon.  If I felt eating Spam and eggs would help, I would do it.  On that note, is there a reader out there that actually likes Spam?  If you do, please share.  If something seems appetizing I’ll give it a shot…now to the random musings.

    I can’t think of a better culinary topic on the Fourth of July than corn on the cob.  On the grill or in the oven (I refuse to boil corn on the cob) has to be the way to go.  Not too long ago, I started cooking or grilling it while still in the husk.  For me, there is no other way.  The husk keeps the moisture in and steams the corn.  It is perfect every time.  30 minutes in a 375° oven, give it a few minutes to cool and dig in.

    When did putting grapes in chicken salad become commonplace and why is this still tolerated?

    Chicken salad with grapes, served in a glass on a bed of lettuce. Wrong on so many levels.

    Speaking of salad, potato salad can really surprise you sometimes.  I was at a BBQ last weekend and the host, who used to cook at the now defunct Cottage Inn Café on Washtenaw Avenue (moment of silence, please) made a potato salad that had capers in it, and it was quite good.  Normally I have no use for capers.  I’ve got to get his recipe; beyond chicken piccata I had no idea capers could be delicious.

    I broke down and bought a gas grill last year.  I know, grilling enthusiasts, charcoal is the way to go, but the simplicity of gas has proven valuable.  I grill far more often with the gas grill than I did on my Weber.  But today I ran out of propane before my burgers were finished.  I cried out “NOOOOOOOOOO” to the heavens.  Score another point for charcoal.

    Fourth of July food discussion can’t be complete without mentioning beer.  I tried Michelob’s Hop Hound at a party this weekend, as it was either that or Bud Light.  Review to come sometime later this week…

    Why is Poochie the rockin' dog on this beer bottle? Tune in later this week to find out!

    As long as we are talking about beer, I love a good Hefeweizen but if I can taste banana in my beer I am going to switch to something else.  Unless it is Bud Light Golden Wheat.

    Did anyone else see this picture of Cookie Monster with the hot Russian spy chick? 

    Cookie Monster with hot redhead Russian spy. Seems like our old friend is doing pretty well for himself since retiring.

    Looks like CM has been living an interesting life since he retired.  Perhaps he’ll send us another letter someday…

    And even though John hates soccer, one World Cup comment.  If Netherlands wins the World Cup, the greatest party in history will be in Amsterdam.  I would do unspeakable things to be there on that night.

    Dutch soccer fans. Makin' orange look gooooood.

  • McRiblets?

    After the longest hiatus I have taken since starting Epic Portions, I am back with a new fast food report.

    Apparently it wasn’t enough that Burger King was destroying ribs.  They couldn’t be the ones doing it. Now McDonalds is joining the war against one of my favorite foods in the world and is almost ready to roll out McRiblets.  I have never seen an oven, grill or anything of that manner in a McDonalds “kitchen”, so I can’t say I’m very optimistic.  Then again, even if McDonalds had smokers installed at all of their locations I still wouldn’t eat their ribs.

    McRiblets

  • Epic Product Reviews: Multigrain Pringles

    Before I begin my review of Multigrain Pringles, I would like to acknowledge that we have spoken about Pringles quite often here at EP.  There is precedent for this; for example, Ernest Hemmingway once wrote a little known novel called A Farewell to Pringles.  And did you know that the original title of Tolstoy’s War and Peace was War, Peace, and Pringles?  So now that you are up to date on the noble literary tradition of writing about Pringles, let us explore the new Multigrain version of this mouthwatering muse.

    Multigrain Pringles…you are better off puting tennis balls in the can and sharing with your Golden Retriever.

    Alliteration aside, I feel I need to begin my review by saying that Multigrain Pringles ARE NOT mouthwatering.  Once every couple months I get a Pringles craving.  When I buy a can, it is usually gone within two days after my wife and son discover it.  So while shopping at Kroger last week, I noticed the addition of Multigrain Pringles to the lineup, and since they were on sale for quite a bargain price I took a chance.  Did I expect them to achieve the deliciousity of Original Pringles, or my favorite, Cheesy Pringles?  No, but I honestly did expect them to be pretty good.  They fell short of even that low expectation.

    Maybe it is the fact that they taste so unlike what I expect in a Pringle.  Maybe it is the fact that they are so dramatically inferior to the world’s number one multigrain chip, Sunchips.  But the greatest evidence of their poor taste is the fact that half the can is still in my cupboard after one week.   They aren’t awful, but the only thing I could say after eating one was…why?  What is the point?  Does anyone seek out Pringles when hoping looking for a healthy snack?

    You call them, MISTER Sunchips!

    I know why Pringles unleashed this culinary disgrace on the market.  Everything is going Multigrain.  Multigrain is the new fat free.  So, we as consumers now have to wade through a new layer of crap when shopping.  Here is a tip:  If a product you know and love is advertising themselves as Multigrain after having a perfectly acceptable product for many years, it is a marketing scam.  Why not try to wring a few extra bucks out of obese America.  We’re all so worried about our weight that we are desperate for anything, even Multigrain Pringles.

    I still don’t know why Pringles felt the need to do this.  Yes, yes, I understand marketing and grabbing a slice of the latest fad.  But Pringles already makes fat free diarrhea chips with Olestra.  Notice how they latched on to that fad as well.  Does Frito-Lay even make their disgusting WOW brand chips anymore?

    Wow! Now with 33% more abdominal cramping!

    So what can I say…avoid Multigrain Pringles.  I did try Original and not the cheesy flavor but I can’t possibly see how fake cheese powder can dramatically improve this product.  Spend an extra buck or two and buy Cheddar Sunchips.  Now if you will excuse me, I am going to return to the latest tome I am reading:  John Steinbeck’s classic, The Pringles of Wrath.